Do you know the difference between being ‘in love’ and ‘loving’ someone?

Question

Massageman · Accepted Answer

Five Types of Love

The Greek language distinguishes several different senses (meanings) for the word "love" with a different root word for each sense. Ancient Greek has the words xenia, philia, storge, agape, and eros. Let’s look at them more closely and see how they relate to the Massage Therapist.

Xenia: Xenic hospitality was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship between a host and his guest, people who could previously have been total strangers. Xenic love was shown by the host by respecting his guest, and by the guest who would not be a burden to the host. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude, except in the case of traveling bards, wherein entertainment and news from other towns was the usual “thank you”. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology, in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.

Philia: This love has comradeship and friendship for another individual, but it expects a response. It is a love of relationship, comradeship, sharing, communication and friendship. While eros makes lovers, phileo makes a bond that is all trusting, and not sexual in nature. They share each other’s thoughts, feelings, attitudes, plans and dreams. They confide in each other secrets, fears and needs that they would not share with another. Note the use of this Greek root in the words philanthropy (generousity) and hydrophilia (water-loving).

Storge: This is the love often described as a comfortable old shoe relationship comprised of natural affection and a sense of belonging to each other. Storgic love represents a safe haven for people as it is a place of acceptance, mutual respect and shelter, one example of which is familial love- that of parents and offspring to each other. Many people dwell in storgic love for years and misunderstand it as being mundane or boring. But in effect it is a very safe place, but can simply lack excitement we might seek. It can also serve as the moat around your relationship, protecting it from outside forces. Storgic love can co-exist with other types of love and can be likened to a foundation made up of trust and safety.

Agape: Refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, not sexual attraction suggested by eros. To love agapely is to love completely, but expect nothing in return. Agape love is different from erotic love in that it is not sexual nor romantic in nature. Its nature is that of self sacrifice. Agape love was shown by Jesus, as He gave Himself totally to save man from sin. Agape love is also different from the other kinds of love in that you can choose it. It is a giving of yourself for the betterment of the relationship. Agape love can help you to “protect” yourself emotionally during difficult times as you love someone but expect nothing in return. You can love someone completely and still have boundaries and maintain your self respect.

Eros: This type of love is associated with sex and romance. It is that erotic feeling we get when a sexual relationship moves forward. Your world and mind circles about your loved one and they are always on your mind. You strive for time together romantically. Eros love is totally emotional, sexual and cannot typically be summoned at will. Sadly, while most of us have experience erotic love in our lives, it is not sustainable. While erotic love is not sustainable, it can cycle in and out of a relationship over its course.

Massage Therapists can- and should typically- display all types of love to guests except that of erotic love. When therapists open their studios, they offer their guests gracious hospitality (xenic love): they show this love with clean, relaxing surroundings, soothing music and oils, refreshments, and showing respect for their needs. The therapists offer the benefit of their communication, training and sharing (philic love): therapists routinely offer self-help information to their guests, and participate in philanthropic ventures to help others. They conduct their business and craft on the basis of trust and safety (storgic love): their guests know that the massage studio is their personal refuge from the world for that hour or two, and that they can trust the therapist to keep them from harm. The therapists may even approach being self-sacrificing in nature (agapic love).

An ethical Massage Therapist, however, will NOT allow the relationship between he/she and the guest to become an erotic one.

delta50 · Accepted Answer

Being "in love" is romantic. You are not "in love" with your mother. I mean, hopefully you're not.

"Loving" is kindness and affection. You are "loving" with someone who is special to you and might also be "in love" with, for example your car.

Emiliamazing · Accepted Answer

Being in love is a state of mind, feeling. Loving someone is putting thoughts into action. I also think that "being in love" refers to a romantic relationship, while expressing love for an individual is not always part of a romantic relationship. It can be family and friends or your significant other.

_Just_A_girl_ · Accepted Answer

You want a physical relationship with one whereas not so much with the other.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

For people who make this distinction:

"I love you" means I feel great affection, and can justify having a physical relationship with you, but I may not stay committed to you in the long term

"I'm in love with you" means I feel great affection, I can justify having a physical relationship with you, and my current plan is to stay committed to you in the long term

Kaneki05 · Answer

No? But I guess I've never loved anyone apart from in my relationships anyway. The feeling of love is wanting them to be happy and been unselfish. I am very much selfish the only way I ain't is when it comes to someone I want to be with. And even then I can be a bit lol.
If I do something to make someone happy it's normally more out of my own interest if it ain't then they are the lucky few who've seen me love them.

ohsheeT · Answer

First of all there's over probably 5000 different types of love there's a major difference I think even though they both work together in different moments in time but they're just two different things even though they still have the word love in it

Anonymous · Answer

In my mind they're the same thing, but with different connotation. I firmly believe that love is love, but the term "in love" is almost exclusively used to define romantic love. Same idea behind it, but in a different context.

MCheetah · Answer

"Love" is a strong emotional connection to anyone. "In love" is a romantic (and sometimes sexual) bond to someone. You can't be "in love" with your sister, unless you're messed up in the head. But you can love your sister, like family should. They are two very different things.

MrOracle · Answer

Loving a person is about caring about their health, happiness, and well-being. You can love a parent, a sibling, or a friend this way.

Being IN LOVE means that you have romantic (and usually sexual) love for that person.

That's not a minor difference.

SickB3atZ · Answer

Being in love is temporary and loving is permanent... just my opinion :)

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Being in love with someone requires butterflies, but loving someone is a choice. Butterflies are not a good thing to chase in life. Every time you feel butterflies, what you are feeling is uncertainty; why would you ever want uncertainty in a romantic relationship?

krin_m · Answer

Yes, I love my friends and family, I'm in love with my girlfriend! To me being in love means it is a romantic relationship.

HeyBenSultan · Answer

You love a friend, you love an animal, you love your mother or your father. You can love everyone at the same time, but you can fall in love with only one person. I think it feels very different from love.

MementoMori_ · Answer

"Do you know the difference between being ‘in love’ and ‘loving’ someone?"

When you love someone you actually love them. When you are in love with someone you actually hate them but somehow stick with them.

ConspiracyTheorist · Answer

Love is something you have for family and such but being in love can make you the happiest person in the world but it can also make you the saddest, but in love is like this amazing rush you get when you are with the one you love

MystiKaL · Answer

Loving someone - you love that person. Usually a sibling, child, family member, or a friend. Being in love - you are physically and mentally attracted to that person and also love them.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Sure do!! I think that's why I couldn't screw the last girl that wanted me to. Even though we did it a few times 37 years before, I still loved her, but I was no longer IN love with her.

TroyDT2 · Answer

To me "in love" is emotional, all about feelings. "Loving" is an active choice.

Nigjt · Answer

Well u really need to be very careful when useing that word because it has a lot of meaning to it any of ur not it can hurt someone really badly. God Bless

exitseven · Answer

They are different. I love some of my friends and I am in love with my wife

lookingeverywhere · Answer

Having your cock squirt sperm deeb inside her, might mean love for a young man. The older you get the more regular a pussy gets. It's for satisfying a randy cock.

Luopio27 · Answer

Difference is being loved in return.  If both love each other, its being in love. One way love is loving.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

A second controller.

Anonymous · Answer

Loving someone is selfless. Being in love with someone is selfish.

Msputiton · Answer

Yes.

jimmy2 · Answer

In love soaking love up loving is give love out

Mcheal_arson · Answer

There's not really a difference to me

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Of course!

Anonymous · Answer

A is the correct answer.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I voted A

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

No, enlighten me

Do you know the difference between being ‘in love’ and ‘loving’ someone?

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Is there a difference between loving someone and being in love?

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Is there a difference between loving someone and being in love?

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