How do you overcome insecurity?

[kay1315]

I find myself working on myself to not feel insecure, but I don't know no matter what I do I feel insecure and it is getting in the way of my relationship

[caring__1]

Focus on validating yourself rather than seek external validation. The more you rely on others for these strokes, the more insatiable you'll be, the less enduring the rewards of those strokes and the lower your self-esteem drops. Nothing handed to you will ever help you feel better about yourself. The best way to improve your self-esteem is to challenge yourself and gain a sense of accomplishment.

You say you're working on not feeling insecure. You can say you're also working on not being a serial killer, or not growing an extra 6' every year, or not insisting your cat barks... but where does that take you? Only focus on what you do want, not what you don't want; what you will do, not what you won't do. Whatever direction we face is the direction we go. If you're critical of negative, you'll see more negative; if you're appreciative of positive, you'll see more positive. If you focus on what you don't want, you'll get more of what you don't want; if you focus on what you do want, you'll get more of what you do want.

Identify and enhance what already exists within you. Don't waste your time molding yourself into something you're not. By focusing on what is really you, you'll end up attracting those who are drawn to your actual qualities. For every type of person, there are people who truly appreciate that type of person. By pretending you're someone else, you'll only experience frustration and disappointment when the bait and switch is revealed.

[jshm2]

By remembering there is no such thing as confidence and insecurity; they are not tangible things - only mental constructs.

You feel the way you do out of habit, not because anything is physically making you.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s not easy. You need to focus on the good things in your life and try and not be so anxious.

[FilmGuy93]

This is super unhelpful and way easier said than done, but you honestly just decide that you aren’t going seek external validation anymore.

[BJP21]

By telling the inner saboteur to go fuck itself, and focus on anything positive.

[Anonymous]

Your life is more important than my life. Just think, at least I am important. It will help.

[Rudon00]

Take yourself out of the spotlight. Focus on helping and supporting others.

[maximumpower]

Education, martial arts, physical fitness, secure job/home/position.

[Anonymous]

Realize how little other people care. When you realize that you're free.

[MCheetah]

Very VERY slowly.

[Andres77]

Competence breeds confidence

[Andres77]

It’s a journey.
I still needed therapy for other issues but this also helped. Mastering certain skills that my sneaky inner voice couldn’t deny. I was REALLY good at those things. And my confidence eventually spread to other areas.

[ThebestIndian]

Insecurity in which sense?

[jamartheg]

I am never insecure