Once a cheater, always a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

Depends

[sheenagwapa]

i'm really curious if my dreqm is real. therethiw guy who is actinh like on the show the bachelor but the thinh is i didn't know that i'm one of the contestant becaif i knew i would have not participated


through keep pushinh it on my system that i'm just perfectionist when i learned that i'm an option. i learned that i'm an option through recurring dreams and now i learned of another contestant also because of a dream that's why i'm really curious if i'm right


i think this person has no shame whatsoever thatwhy i want out and again they keep pushinh it to me that i'm just insecure which isn't true because the primary reason is that i find it evil especially in my case that i have no consent. this person also see me in mu nakedness without my consent


that's why i want out, i want my source of income. yeah sure i wanna be rich so bad but absolutely not at the expense of love. i am not sure of what i feel for this person anymore and i just hate him because even my poor parents he wanna punish if they don't act according to his criteria of what good people are


i understand he is so rich he wanba be super sure but to include even my parents it's wronh... it is so wronh. i think he is lookinh for a perfect partner and i reallu hope he will find that person. he has many options anyway so i wish him all the best of luck

[Anonymous]

Depends if they have a bad experience cheating which changes them and it especially depends on the kind of people they surround themselves with. A common theme with the cheaters I’ve dated is they victimise themselves to either a new or existing friend group, all of these people take their side because they have no prior knowledge of me to what they’re hearing about me so they assume it’s an abusive relationship and I’m a horrible person and in doing so give them advice on how to leave me/hit on my partner of the time. It’s one thing to cheat but it’s another to paint the person you cheat on as a monster behind their back, that shit really hurts. Worst part is when they apologise to you after you call them out on it like wtf no just don’t do it. But yeah point is I don’t think those cheaters will change, both of those girls I dated were incredibly socially lonely and tbh I think they thrive off attention they get from their friends more than they do an actual relationship. The first time it happened it was like wtf ouch not gonna let that happen again and then it happened again with my fiancée of four years and my world came crumbling down. I spent a long time analysing our relationship and my actions I started to believe it must be me but luckily I have good friends and family and even my ex’s parents who convinced me otherwise however regardless if this happens to me again I fear I’ll become worse than what they make me out to be because I’ll kill them. Probably myself too and their lover but Yeah I’ll kill them and I don’t want to be a killer so I just won’t get into relationships anymore.

[MrOracle]

I voted C, but I will say this. For the MAJORITY of cheaters, the statement is true: once a cheater, always a cheater.

There is a small minority of people who might have one weak moment that happens to coincide with a moment of great temptation, and they cheat. They didn't seek out opportunities, the opportunity fell in their lap at the same time they were struggling, and they messed up. And most importantly, they realized their mistake immediately, and admitted to it to their partner immediately. For that small minority, this statement is usually not true.

Anyone who was out seeking attention from other people in the first place, or who tried to cover up their cheating after the fact, is a cheater through and through and will cheat again.

[Aerissa_Jade]

When someone does something, even once... they cannot undo it. They can stop doing it, but they are forever that. Simply stopping doesn't mean they aren't anymore, just means they aren't doing it anymore.

Think of it like, a murder or rapist. So they do it once and stop, does that mean they aren't anymore?

Same for everything else, cheaters, thieves, and so forth.

Once you do something you are always that, even if you never do it again.

[Guy13]

Two good rules to remember: if they do it for you then they will do it to you.

Where there’s 💨 💨💨💨 there’s 🔥. Don’t wait until the building falls in on you.

[RiseofArtemis]

Cheaters will never stop. They are programed to be destructive and ruin people. The only way to stop cheating from happening is if we punish it extremely hard even with death.

[Avicenna]

That's normally true. They never learn.

[Moose304]

Nothing starts a debate in a large group of people or an online community better than this question. The first mistake most make is assuming a cheater "just" all the sudden cheats. If they are a no morals person yes they can do it. Another type that will cheat like this is someone with a DSM Cluster B disorder. If the opportunity presents itself these types WILL cheat again! Then there is another type of cheating. BOTH SEXES DO IT! Think of the last link in a chain of events. Most folks see this series of events and break the chain. Sadly there are those that can't and they WILL go on to cheat! I catch a lot of hell for my position on liars and cheaters. I simply don't want to be around you! One of the barkeeps at my favorite watering hole cheated on his wife 20 years ago. I still to this day ignore him and won't go in there when he is working alone.

[es20490446e]

Cheating isn't like a small lie. Cheating is severe. It puts your relationship, with the person you theoretically love the most, at risk.

What kind of person does that? Someone who is a deceiver, and doesn't really care or respect you. That isn't situational, is a standard moral.

Most of the time when they say they will change what really is going on is that they fear the backslash, and the lack of leverage, they find themselves in.

But they don't really see the wrong of how they behave. Once their fear is over, they are usually inclined to go back to their old behaviors.

[AlphaMale1]

People cheat mostly due to fulfill something missing in their lives. I am guilty of that as what was missing in my life was a partner to do things with and talk. My ex would go grocery shopping with me and getting to talk was like pulling teeth. The woman I had an affair with for over two years was the exact opposite. And to me it was worth it.

[normalice]

I think twice a cheater always a cheater. The first time one cheats they are thinking only of the benefits and none of the psychological or emotional costs. But once one experiences them, if they can set it all aside and do it again anyway, then they will never stop on their own.

[Shaysturn]

Great answer!

[curlyfirecracker]

Depends. If he/she was young, just started dating, misunderstood the status of the relationship etc. If he/she makes it clear that being with others in anyway is, then yes. The person who betrays that cheated. Does that mean they experienced that and learned from it? Maybe, maybe not. I don't think that could be so black and white.

[RavVid]

When you have broken a moral taboo once, it is far easier to do the next time.

This applies to more than cheating. Giving a talk to your work colleagues might scare you the first time but it'll be a lot easier the next and subsequent times. In fact you might even start enjoying doing it.

Same with cheating.

[MementoMori_]

Yes. It's a sad fact of life.

For the same reason men have billions of sperm and keep making them throughout their lives, they are built to have many sexual partners by natural design... to plant their seeds and go to the next one. It's a survival of the species mechanism to ensure as many successful pregnancies as possible. So most of them have to struggle with monogamy and work hard not to stray. It's culture versus nature and as usual nature usually wins.

[Googlemyahoo]

Definitely. Guy I considered friend in HS tried stealing our GFs all the time. I ditched him. 30 years later he banged his friends wife causing a divorce.

One of my exs cheated on me in HS which ended that relationship & I recently found out from my son (goes to school with her daughter) that she got divorced… for cheating on her husband.

[carlgpfeifer]

that is true when someone cheats on there girlfriend is always cheater I agree with it when I go out with girl I stay with her at all time that is way to be respectful to your date don. t hide the lies from your girlfriend I love girl to be my date I will treat her right

[shanshu]

I think the person that cheated on they will most likely cheat on again or could of just been hear of the moment and might not happen again but no excuse but does not mean they will cheat on every partner they are with.

But people have their own opinions, some women think all guys are the same, some think there's no perfect person for them.

[dustybiker]

It’s more.. Once a cheater, trust is broken and you can’t earn that back. People who know will always suspect something. They can often become damaged themselves ruining their future relationships.

[sage2021]

As the old saying goes "A leopard never changes his spots".

Once a cheater, always a cheater!

It's very stressful to be with a man that has a history of cheating, but swears he won't cheat on me. Yeah, right! 🤬

[FilmGuy93]

Nah, cheaters usually have a specific circumstance that led them to their behavior. The kind of people who become habitual cheaters are people who are deeply discontented with their lives and don't have self-awareness to work with that fact.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I'd hope some would learn and get reformed.

However, that'd be a very small percentage.

I've yet to hear about a cheater who hasn't cheated at least twice.

[Lilacandsilver]

I dont believe so.

There are serial cheaters but there are also circumstantial cheaters. I've dated many serial cheaters but I've only cheated once ever and the experience of them finding out is so awful I would never ever go through that again for any number of rationalizations.

[PetiteBabe64]

So your trying to find the good in humanity by asking this Question. Because you don’t want it to be true. Well sorry to Bust an Orgasm in your apple pie But there is no Good in humanity.

[genericname85]

i wouldn't say so. i would say generally speaking that people learn from mistakes and improve over time. though i think if you have been cheated on, it's still best never to trust them again for your own good.

[BlueScorpio]

I like to think people can change their bad behaviors, but you never really for certain if they will.