Is it abusive & neglectful for my girlfriend to prevent me from showering at her house because of her male (Recent Ex-Affair Partner) Roomate?

[Anonymous]

won't go into detail about our relationship, the answer that will help me the least is "oh break up with her" so for the love of god just address the Moral Values & distorted & twisted concepts of love. Not the relationship entirely. But anyways. Been with this girl for years almost 8. We went through a huge financial struggle because of covid and I ended up living in her car & she moved in with a dude she recently had an affair with. I live on the side of their house but this Affair Partner of hers doesn't like me very much because he's insecure & knows he can't give her what she needs like I can in terms of intimacy & familiarity. But.. he doesn't want me in the house, he told her If i go in the house to shower he'll kick her out, but she just paid him $500. Now usually a ride or die woman would say fuck it & tell him tough shit & let me come insides for as little as 20 minutes to shower But even though he goes to work, has a set schedule & its 100% certain that she won't get in trouble by sneaking me in while he's at work (because we've done this before without getting caught). Recently she's just flat out refused, rejected & has disregarded what kind of reality im experiencing not being able to shower. She's told me im selfish for not thinking about her position and the fact she could get kicked out.. but she gets to shower every day. I can't even go out in public or think about getting a job, i can't go out and socialize or make friends or do anything because I literally can't shower. She says she loves me but I know that I wouldn't let someone I love go without the basic universal human necessity & moral right to be able to wash/bathe themselves because when you love someone you're supposed to care about their health & well being right? Am I in the wrong here?

[Avicenna]

That's totally dysfunctional. Don't you have any friends or family you can stay with?

[Asker]

No i don't. She made sure that I had no friends by telling them i was doing to her what she was actually doing to me. Although she's only admitted to that once.

[Avicenna]

You need to get away from her

[jennifer_bloom]

I had a homeless friend 15 years ago and I used my gym membership to let him shower in my gym cause our gym had a police that guests were allowed one day at the gym for free before they would be required to access a membership to access the gym.