I’m not here to judge. I just want to know.
Maybe it’s the variety you need, but would never want to leave your family. Maybe you need a constant ego boost. We all know things get dull after a while. What makes you cheat? Is it 100% something is missing at home?
Rarely, but obviously a few do. But we also need to keep in mind the word "happily."
Women who pursue the handsome, successful players are going to be cheated on - that's pretty much a given. A man who has always had an abundance of women available to him is extremely unlikely to be able to give that up and remain faithful. Many still marry eventually, and some might believe they can change when they say their vows, but 5 years along, most are stepping out. I'm not even counting those guys, because expecting fidelity from them is absurd from the beginning.
I'm talking about more average (and above average, but not the guy that most women immediately desire) who WANT marriage - and this excludes the men who have to be threatened and brow-beatened into marriage. These marriage minded men want a good wife, and usually children, and they expect to keep them for the rest of their lives - during which they are generally willing to work incredibly hard and give nearly all the proceeds of their labor and sacrifice to the family. As long as his wife remains faithful, supportive, and doesn't completely ignore his few needs, these men are overwhelmingly faithful.
If she doesn't, then it's no longer going to be a happy marriage, and even though most of these men will still remain faithful, some will eventually step out in order to get their needs met. Men really ask for very little, but what we ask for, we REALLY need, and if we go too long without it, bad things happen. I don't just mean sex, though that's a part of it, I mean support and respect too. Men who get those things can fight off the world for a long time, but men who don't get them will break down over time. It's not a coincidence that suicide is much higher in men - and it's usually men who are not getting that support at home that can't deal with the weight of the world.
I liked what you said. What sort of support and respect are we talking about? Please give examples. Do men see the actions of the woman (if she shows him respect) or does she have to tell him she respects and support him. Cuz i tell my hubby this, but i feel i can do more. Please help
Mostly, it's just having some respect for him going out and earning and prioritizing income over a job he enjoys more, or is closer to home, or has better hours. One common thing that many wives/girlfriends do is barrage their man with a list of complaints as soon as he walks through the door. That's the kind of thing that makes him feel disrespectfed.
Men don't expect women to throw us a party, but we would like to come home and relax for an hour before getting into the issues and complaints. It's little things like that that make all the difference.
Your husband needs to feel appreciated, and probably through actions as much as words. It doesn't take very much - bring him a glass of water (or his favorite beverage) when he comes home. That 30 seconds of effort sends a message, without you even having to say it: I appreciate that you've had a hard day, and I want you to relax for a little while.
You can wait an hour to remind him that you have a dinner with friends on Saturday, and that the oil in the cars need changed, or whatever. Even better, if he's a "paper" guy, write out a list of that week's appointments and "To-Do's" and put it on the fridge, or if he's an "electronic" guy, put the appointments on his calendar and the To-Dos on his To-Do list, and then let him relax. That shows that you respect him to manage his time. Again, these things take very little time and effort, but can feel like a night-and-day change to how he feels you see and treat him - and believe me, if he feels like he's getting love and respect and appreciation for you, you will definitely benefit from that in return.
I understand there context of your argument but I'd have to disagree in practice. I'd say in my mid 20s, I fit the stereotype you outlined. Women have always wanted me my whole life.
I haven't had any sex in over a year. I couldn't be happier! I've found my spiritual centre and philosophy. I'd never cheat on my wife. The mere thought disgusts an angers me. That's someone that I'm building a family with, the mother of my children.
So yeah, you can't judge men harshly just because they're considered handsome, successful with a player past.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
@DoctorSex Had you been the guy who had banged 1000 girls - and was doing it pretty much up to your wedding day, it would be VERY unlikely that you would have changed your ways. Not impossible, just very unlikely.
The nature of GaG is that we have to make generalizations - we can't interview all 7+ billion people on the planet and then maintain an updated database to get exact numbers. And it's a common tactic to argue against a generalization by citing an exception, as if the exception disproves the rule. All generalizations have a few exceptions, but exceptions are fairly rare, and the vast majority of people won't be exceptions - they'll be the rule. That's why it's the rule, and that's why we mostly discuss "the rule" or "the majority experience", unless we're talking about a specific person that we have enough background on to speak otherwise.
@MrOracle ok?
I think you're reaching my friend. That just sounds ridiculous sir!
Just so we're clear here, a player to you is a guy who's banged 1000 women? Not sure more than a handful of those types of men exist lol
And I highly doubt any study has been done of this unicorn group of men to give you the confidence to assert a generalized statement about their suitability as husbands.
Again. If it is the rule. Please show me where I can find the data to back up this claim of yours. I'd love to learn.
Thank you
@DoctorSex That was something of an exaggeration to make a point. But I know several men with body counts well over 1000 - they definitely are the exception, but they definitely exist. I've seen the constant stream of women around them, and I've heard the women talk about being with them, so it's not like the guys were bragging - they didn't need to.
Nearly any well-known male celebrity - actor, singer/musician, or pro athlete - likely has a body count of at least 500, and plenty have well above 1000. The vast majority of them marry at some point, and they nearly all cheat, because being married doesn't slow down the endless opportunities they have with other women - women who find ways to get close to them. This isn't any big secret - it's just that most people don't talk about it because they defer to celebrities.
I’d say it’s case by case.
But for my personal opinion, I don’t think a truly happily married man would cheat.
I believe that all cheating can trace back to some form of unfulfilled want, need, or desire.
The answer to getting those wants, needs, or desires fulfilled is to communicate with your spouse and work on finding solutions to resolve everything.
But, not every man is good at communicating these things, and not every woman is good and helping their husband feel safe sharing his inner thoughts and feelings.
Cheating is an escape or a coping mechanism or a way to have these wants, needs, or desires fulfilled outside of the relationship. It’s not the healthy response to relationship issues but many couples aren’t experts at conflict resolution, so it may be a tempting path to take for some people.
If someone says they are happily married, and yet they still cheat, I think they are kidding themselves.
It’s like someone saying that they love their job, when they actually don’t, but they keep telling themselves that because they don’t want to face the fact that they actually are unhappy and just don’t want to admit it or accept it.
That’s my two cents. ✌️
The idea of happy. Is in many respects of mental, emotional, physical, ego, safe, drama being low, and love. Many relationships don't have all of these traits, needs in place. This is because Our system as so called schools don't teach helpful guidance tools to help youth promote healthy families and individuals. Also healthy eating is Huge. MACROS of eating healthy for a lifetime is key as well. Many people don't learn these important life's skills needed. Eating properly helps many items of the body including muscles, mind, emotional. Preventing over eating and having a balanced view of life, 1’s self, and others as well. Besides, learning healthy awareness. Understanding of homeopathy would be a next step. Nutrition helps the body internally and externally improve and stay in a healthy state as people live life. These are the many building blocks that are not discussed in homes or schools much. Vitamins and minerals are an everyday item to learn what is and what is not working in the body, learning what is needed to encourage UR body to stay healthy.
No. People cheat because they're unhappy.
There's no paradoxical situation where a man who cheats is happily married; it just means his marriage is not enough. His wife is not enough. His children aren't enough. He may want something different. Maybe he's trying to fill a void. He could simply be a narcissistic prick. Whatever his personal reason is he's neither happy nor appreciative of what he has.
Sure they can. You can have a perfect life and always want what's on the other side of the neighbors fence, even just to borrow it once or say they could.
Some people like climbing fences only to prove they can, not because they want to stuck on the other side.
Of course, most people I hope aren't like this.
Opinion
55Opinion
Sure. They can cheat and still be very happy with their marriage, the wife, the kids... sometimes the excitement goes away and they stray looking for it elsewhere.
No. I am married going on 9 years with two kids. Ended up having an emotional affair with a close friend and coworker. Not proud of it, but its life experience
I didn't set out wanting something new. My wife and i had issues setting boundaries with her parents who, more or less, ran my life through their daughter. It ate away at me for years, kept telling my wife but she would not stand up. My life revolved around their priorities and when i got pissed and told them "no", I was accused of being "abusive" and "violent". Wanted to move but i have a very good career, house and everything to lose. So i kept working long hours just to make extra money and avoid the stress. Thats when I reconnected with a coworker and a long time friend.
That friend stood up for me. Backed me up. Defended me, made me feel valued. In short, filling all the gaps. I fell madly in love with her.
It wasn't until my wife realized "oh shit, some other chicks stealing my man" that she took actions to listen. Women say men are bad listeners but theyre pretty shitty listeners too. By then it was too late. But since my wife was committed to me and I made a promise to be committed to her, i let my friend go. That break up hurt like hell.
Is everything better with your wife at least? Did you forgive her?
There are simple reasons of why sex life for men and women cannot have 1 individual for life.
1) is we in society are not asking the proper questions of what type of individual 1 is as mentally and history shows this sometimes as well. Another is 4 play and knowing how to orgasm and sounds of orgasm, to knowing what is supposed to feel proper and how to climax. To what types of ejaculation is for both sexes.
2) is detailing a resume of what you have as how U are promoting 1’s self, I have these qualifications yet I don't know how to do this better. Well 1 can learn. How, whom to ask?
3) if a woman or guy does not have good communication on a daily basis, this is Huge lack of healthy people around and individual, this can change only if the individual would like assistance. 1 cannot make an individual change, help encourage, don't scold the individual. If 1 is spinning the wheels of too much drama after 1 is married. Have someone to talk with in a neutral friend, remember no jealousy, care and love.
If he was happily married , he wouldn’t be cheating , , if he is cheating then he doesn’t really value and love his wife , he just likes the convenience of her and cheaper to keep her , Cheating is a selfish act period , A cheater is best to end the relationship and go forward with the person they are cheating with not go back to their partner at home like everything is ok , if you can’t value and sacrifice for your partner then you are wasting your time being with hat person period , Ypu are living a lie
In my case I’ve been tempted twice but didn’t do anything. I did think seriously about it because I have a dead bedroom and the wife just has little to no interest in sex. The first time the girl was 21 and we worked together. She was exactly my type, petite, brunette and had a wild side. She came on to me and I almost gave in. Thankfully she quit and the temptation was gone. The second is a neighbor who is around 40 but looks 30. We flirt constantly as she gets very little attention from hubs. However, we’ve both decided without saying anything that we won’t cross the line.
I think people cheat based off opportunity. Some have the resolve to remain faithful but I know some men and women that are tested for months with heavily implied comments and the break. Their a bit too weak in my opinion but I can see myself breaking after weeks of sexual innuendos and flirting so I’m sure others would too…
That being said that’s part of why I cut ties with the opposite sex while I date.
Yes happily married men or women cheat because after a while feelings can fade away and the relationship loose it's spark some want to experiment sexual and fulfill certain fantasy for which they seek partner outside other than that anyone can be attracted to anyone now some people will act on it and make the move and cheat their partner and some might not take the risk but secretary like that person
We sure do, I've been married for 32 years. I'm not going to lie I cheated. I don't regret doing it either. I didn't get caught by her. The woman I was cheating with got caught by her spouse and that's what ended it or otherwise I'd probably still be doing it
I didn't think I was missing anything at home, then I had a woman that was 25 years younger than me show interest and pursue me. Not only was she beautiful but she was intelligent and it was a major turn on
I wouldn't say that, it was just something new. I still have passion for my wife. I had just never experienced a very hot 28-year-old pursuing me
It’s not possible for him to cheat if he’s happy unless he’s a true sex addict.
But sex addiction is usually based on depression to begin with. It has to deal with having low brain dopamine levels and getting the quick boost and excitement of getting a dopamine rush from random sexual partners/encounters/porn/etc.
But she would already know about that prior to marrying him.
Yes, there are "happily" married men that cheat, just like there are women that are "happily" married who cheat.
Point is, if one isn't happy in a marriage with their spouse, they will step out to capture a similar feeling when they first met them or to scratch the itch from temptation.
Typically no but drugs and alcohol can have a play in someones cheating. That normally wouldn't.
Cheating is pointless in my opinion because every girl feels the same during sex (it's the truth)
Emotionals make the sex feel good and that isn't going to happen fast.
I have cheated before but I was being gaslighted and I wasn't sure how to get out of the relationship. I do regret I did it. Though I have moved on and so has she.
i would say that a good chunk of those that cheat are happily married. that's why so many are so terribly sorry after doing it. i would say those that cheat because they're frustrated or dissatisfied are actually not a majority among those that cheat.
Happily married men definitely cheat, but those happily married men are probably also pretty selfish and uncaring about their SO.
I've cheated before. Eventually we decided to have a sexual open relationship because for me, it was purely a matter of just getting my rocks off with somebody new and forgetting who they are the next day.
My dishonesty and cowardice in failing to bring up the matter of consent for this arrangement ahead of time is an entirely different matter.
Yeah, but then you're not in a marriage... your more like in a family. You're in a family. Not a marriage
Been married we have been married over 30 years. I have been tempted the last 10 years. I feel neglected. My wife said she can live without sex, that was 10 years ago. I asked her if she wanted to travel to see parts of the country that we've never seen together. Her comment was you can get you a traveling companion for all I care.
Yes they can. A guy could have everything going for him, perfect wife, kids, home etc. And still fall into sexual temptation for other women. Lust and gredd are a powerful thing and denying your flesh can be very hard for a lot of people.
If they are "happily" married they're not going to cheat, and would never think about it. You should ask him: "are you happy being married to me?" See what he says. See how he reacts.
No, if a man is happy and fulfilled emotionally and sexually he usually would not wander. Usually something is lacking for some time before most men would even consider cheating, most still wouldn't cheat.
Yes, happily married men also cheat for different reasons on different occasions. Life is a no straight path for anyone. It has its own ways to bend us breaks us, rip us, cherish us, treasure us. If that is how easy for any human to be perfect at marriage or job or anything. I doubt he/she will ever do mistakes.
Unhappy people cheat. I'm not known to be a cheater but did cheat on a guy cause he always complained about me and had a lazy life style and I was really tired of his behavior and not making any efforts especially getting a job. Its not my nature to cheat.
Unfortunately, yes. People who cheat are doing it because of problems within themselves. They could have the best marriage in the world, but still feel the desire to cheat because of their personal issues.
I don't feel it's my place to call him a cheater. If he needs some time alone with the preacher's daughter it's his business but when it's just him and me, he better be focused on punishing me for MY sins.
Arousal makes us loose sight of consequences. It’s a chemical reaction
The guys with options cheat. You know, the men that all girls want, including the dummy who thought she could take him off the market.
Not all married men have cheated.
So, "still" doesn't apply.
Many are faithful.
By definition, no. Happy men would have no reason to cheat. It’s probably some trait like alcoholism.
If it's in their nature yes, so it's not a guarantee, but at least you reduce the odds from the guys that normally wouldn't do it.
If a married guy is cheating, then he’s not exactly “happily” married, is he?
Could be a variety of reasons for that. Maybe divorce isn’t allowed in their religion or culture. Divorce is also expensive and a hassle, and doesn’t usually favour the man - although if he was being a cheating asshole then he doesn’t deserve anything.
What’s that old saying
“Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I stopped being a man”
Ehh, yes in that they want their marriage to continue whilst cheating.
Cheating is a personality disorder, i think, having to do with loyalty combined with loving to break social norms by having their bitches in line.
Men are just men, don't trust none of them.
No, especially if the continue intimacy with their wife. If the wife start using sex for control / to get what she wants or abstains….. it doesn’t usually go well.
Some do, I think most don't but I don't really know.
Some do. Some men are just weak, so that can't help themselves.
Unfortunately some do. I've read multiple reddit posts about spouses in happy marriages who cheat and give the most pathetic excuses on top of that.
To me no…. If I am happily married then I have no reason to cheat. If I were to cheat it would be because something is missing or not there at all. Something that makes me not happily married.
My wife doesn't know but I cheat all the time. I've got a stash of cookies behind the TV in the living room. 😋
I'm going to have to question some happily married men when I find them, and see if they'll be honest with me. :-D
Undoubtedly. Just because they don’t need to cheat and it’s wrong, doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
They are not happily married then that’s awful
Yes they can. Mostly seeking adventure, they should really talk ans then go on, maybe thier partner will join
I am cheating my wife bcoz she has low sex drive. She refuses to have regular sex. She is a career woman and not a family woman. We married 5 years back and we are still childless. Neither she is interested in sex nor in babies.
Have you told her that? Why be married then. Why be a cheater and that low.
You bet be better off to communicate that with her. Perhaps, the problem is you. Not her
@girlzruleboyzdrool No, I didn't tell her. She is the problem not me.
The fact that you are sneaking and having a different life without her knowing shows your true character. While she may have things you are no longer in love with, perhaps you should look at yourself as well. She's only worthy betrayal to you? You have a choice to be upfront and work on your issues.
You are choosing betrayal.
You are choosing to be selfish and narcistic
You have an emotional disconnect. You could be upfront and get a councilor together.
Sounds like your life is only about you. It's probably why she's done with you.
Can't see this ending well for any involved. It's probably good you don't have children to be stuck and have the emotional trauma you'd put them through.
You having sex with other women has nothing to do with not having children with your wife.
The women you once loved
@girlzruleboyzdrool hahaha 😅😂🤣😆😁
Exactly. Hopefully, does not interested in sex with you and she has someone else... wouldn't surprise e, being married to someone like you
@girlzruleboyzdrool fine, you should teach me moral lessons while I make love to you in bed. 🤣😂
Pffft. You're a troll or a shitty person.
Remember this conversation, when karma comes.
@girlzruleboyzdrool I am a married man. Young girls drool when they see my penis.
Yeah, you said young girls... so you're a ped hey?
“Do happily married men still cheat?” Well “do happily married women still cheat?” Great question
Define happy? Maybe they are happy in all the areas of their marriage except the sex for one reason or another so they cheat. Doesn't mean hey are not happy overall, just not sexually.
There is no such thing as "happily married". Definitely not forever. There is a lot of tolerance and patience and pretending involved if we are in it for the life.
Happily married man is a mythical creature juslt like a chupacabra, loch ness monster, unicorn and sasquatch.
Just like *
Yes happily married women cheat all the time
If they're HAPPILY married, no. Generally the marriage isn't all good.
In my personal experience, if you keep up with your wifely duties, 95% of men don't stray.
Unhappy cheat or are tempted to. It is easy to cheat... No I haven't if you are wondering
Well a happily married man told me I was beautiful but no dice yet.
It depends the way he feel like living or protecting his relationship.
Yes it is lack of passion the need to be desired again
Ned fulmer was supposedly happily married
Only if they’re mentally ill.
Yeah, they do
Only if they are pieces of shit
the bastards do
Doesn't matter cheating is cheating
Every cheater should catch a bullet. Doesn't mater who they are.
If they do, they are unhappy.
No, happily married men do not cheat.
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