Long distance is too hard for me that i'd choose to end it rather than to wait. does this mean I dont love him enough?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend's job involves him traveling. not always, but when he does, it lasts a while. we've done long distance once since we've been together. it was too hard for me. I don't know maybe this means im too "needy" or clingy but i dont care, its how i feel. i want to be able to see him and touch him. we both say time will fly by but once he's gone it feels so long. i love him a lot but i just can't imagine us ending up being in a long distance every time he needs to and missing him that badly again.

Updates

+1 y

He actually lives an hour away from me, but thats not even the issue. We still see each other 3-4 times a week when he’s not traveling. He comes to me or sometimes i go to him. Its the times where he’s actually away for work where its not an option to see him.

[midnightmoon05]

If thats what you want. I used to think similar... and felt I want/need him to be with me all the time.

Its not true... we want what we can't have.

As I got older, I want my alone time.

We were in LD for 5 years. we didn't see ea. other 2-3 weeks. Worked out great that we can miss ea. other and then be more in love and appreciate ea. other more when we have the time together.

Now that we are married... I work during the week, we don't spend a lot of couple time together.

This morning, I'm home. He is out biking. I am cook and just want what makes him happy and healthy.

We will spend time together later afternoon/evening.

[midnightmoon05]

How long is he gone when he goes away to work?
A week? A month? 5 months? Is this permanent?

One of my friend told me. He knew of a married couple who only see each other once a year…but hey that’s what works for them.
I would never be able to do that.

[onepeaceoflove]

I don't think it means you don't love him. It can legit just be too hard and cause you emotional turmoil. Sometimes it's just not the right choice depending on the people.

[SnowedIn]

@Kshilov is right. Don't throw in the towel yet. Long distance relationships are difficult. But it sounds like you guys connect and are good together. There are so many tools with which to connect and even be intimate if you want. Yes, still hard, but for the right person maybe worth it.

[Guy13]

LDRs never work. Do not blame yourself. It was a non-starter from the beginning. IF it was meant to be then it will be. You're fine.

[coachTanthony]

Better realize that now then later down the road.

[Pinay_ako]

If it’s meant to be, love will find a way. Always if it’s true and real

[susie22]

Only you can determine if you don't love him enough. I'm in an LDR myself, we live and work about 230 miles apart, but we manage our work schedules around and make things work. In my situation, we both realize this LDR won't last forever, and we will be together full time then, but for now getting a few days together every couple weeks makes our time together that much better. I'd say talk things out and think it through before you make any decision.

[Screenwriter]

Well, if that's your decision, there's no two ways about it.

LD is a difficult proposition unless you've been in a relationship a long time. You're pretty young. It might be better to break up for now and see how THAT goes.

When he's around, you can see each other. When he leaves, you won't. You can also explore other relationships with people who are nearby and see how THAT goes.

Then you might have a broader perspective. Good luck.

[sweet-chocolate]

Don't give up on him just yet, do you both have a plan as to how you are going to get together and finally be closer/live together? Do you see a future with him? If yes, then don't give it up. LDRs are hard, very hard but if you know (do not think) that it's worth it then just be patient, I know it's hard. But if you still feel that spark and he still gives you time & communicates well then just hold on for a while!

[Anonymous]

You may not love him enough for a reason, and I think the main problem here is his work that requires traveling, not the LDR itself.

If your boyfriend's work requires traveling and it's taking too much of his time and communication, you did the right thing. It's hard for a person who travels a lot to maintain a relationship.

LDRs can work, and I've known many couples who are now together. From what I've seen, it's actually harder here in Asia, since their partners are from the other side of the world. Some even took years. 😮 However, there's a saying here that goes, "Love is stronger than distance."

[Ria_300]

I'm in a long distance relationship we see eachother when we can we are both very young so we cannot yet get are house together we have been together two years and I am also very clingy and ofc it's hard but you have to know it's always worth the wait personally for me it means you don't love him enough to wait a bit long distance isn't forever and the ones who says they don't work out can honestly go suck a dick

[Ria_300]

Ps doesn't mean it's hard yes it is. It is very hard and you go through a bad time... But if you want someone to be there for you no matter what the distance the situation then you have to do the same

[19magic]

It depends what you mean by long distance is he in the military and will he do a few weekends here and there away from home, 2 weeks for work it all depends what you mean a long time, for me that's 2 or three months and I can see why you might be upset by it. And you said it's happens but not often does that mean 1/2 a year or every couple of months. It all depends on the time and consistency for me.

[Kshilov]

Sounds like maybe you two need to spend more time talking on the phone more, face timing. I wouldn't burn the bridges quite yet because of that. Follow your heart!

[exitseven]

Everyone has different needs and expectations. Your feelings are not out of the norm. If it looks like there is not going to be any change in his employment status I suggest you find somebody else.

[MrOracle]

No, it means that you are wise. LDRs nearly always fail because of the distance/time apart. Why put yourself through that?

Always date LOCALLY.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It does mean you don't love him enough, however the reason for that is he isn't compatible with you.

He likes traveling all over, you don't, he is ok with lots of alone time, you aren't.

Find someone more like you.

[Miristheiss]

No, not at all.

It is probably for the best.

[Bethany22]

No, doesn't mean you don't love him enough. It takes two. He can always move for you, but he hasn't, i assume.

[Talksik6]

Break up life's to short to miss someone and not have your needs met

[Shehnaz]

Minus the word enough.

[Nikki1989]

LDR's don't work.

[EaterPeter]

It doesn't mean that.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[Anonymous]

No. You just have common sense.

[Andridaca]

Long distance is stupid and silly.

[Staximus]

How long was he gone for?

[Sabretooth]

It does.

[Sabretooth]

Any relationship that lasts longer than a breath mint is gonna have challenges, but if a relationship doesn't work out, it's usually not because of the challenges, it's usually because the relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with. the challenges are the best parts of a relationship.

[Sabretooth]

How can you appreciate the good without hardships?