Love isn't love 😍, its deception and abuse?

Question

KirbyFan246 · Accepted Answer

Okay, so you have this idea that love is abuse and deceptive behavior in relationships.

It is understandable to have these feelings in this day in age, dating has become a very confusing affair, when it could be such a very simple, and easily managed addition to your life.

The Problem is dating has become too casual today, yet is still considered serious. Women want a laundry list of things in a relationship and expect way too much from the the men they date yet do too little to make it work, and many men simply want to an easygoing relationship with women but don't consider the work they put in for that to be practical and successful.

The deception and abuse you speak up, only pops up, in private, if someone's needs are not met. The Establishment of the relationship's rules, boundaries, and expectations should be very clear after the third date when you get to the point to see if it's even possible to have a relationship work.

It's understandable you're up at arms about abuse and deception, because the system is set up for women to abuse and deceive the men they date, as the marriage contract is often an arrangement with the following conditions:
1. The Man provides for the Wife and the kid (s) that come along.

2. The Husband and Wife have joint bank accounts which allows the wife to spend the money anytime she wishes beyond necessities.

3. Most of the decision making isn't in your hands, as women hold the majority of power once you're in an established marriage contract.

I would argue that it is a form of voluntary indentured servitude, where when you sign this contract, you work very hard to take care of your family, and you can't get out of that, without getting into a messy divorce if something were to go wrong, unless your wife is benevolent and agrees to divorce peacefully in concurring terms.

But the problem is, MANY women become very power hungry when it comes to relationships, they'll expect you to do your part, so they can continue to live a luxurious life they expect you to keep up for them and your kids, and that's probably going to be costly, especially since she'll be able to spend your money freely under the marriage contract. And then you don't have authority to speak up for yourself in the marriage, because she'll always have the final say on everything she thinks is right, and will threaten you with divorce if you dare to cross or stop her, because she has the power to do so. And she wins either way, because you're paying for her dreams to come true, not yours.

Marriage has always had it's origins in slavery, but nowadays, it's worse than it's ever been due to how the contract is set up.

That being said, if you were to get into a different contract for the relationships, persay, just coparent instead, this fixes a lot of problems, such as avoiding the need for lengthy divorce battles later if there's a need to separate, and since most marriages end after 3-4 years these days, it only makes sense to come up with a solid plan to keep the family together, so legal arrangements don't destroy your marriage on the inside. It's hard enough to avoid infidelity and keep a stable relationship in a day-to-day context, but removing the corrupt family courts out of your relationship and family is the best decision you'll ever make, and that's what co-parenting is most capable of doing. Most people only think of co-parenting after marriage, which is oftentimes a recipe for disaster, but if the relationship were to start off with an arrangement where nobody has advantages over anybody and it's a true team effort, then there's no infighting with the use of that power, which is what you see a lot of women do when they're married with kids, since their outlooks on life greatly change when they become mothers, which isn't bad, but needs to be kept in check so no men get abused or dismissed for claiming a woman abused them, which happens to lots of men every day. Women can be and are as abusive as men, just in ways that are more subtle, and private, as opposed to how some bad men can be more outwardly abusive with wife beating, and verbal abuse.

The biggest trouble with traditional marriage, is men are kept in check, but women are not. As long as this problem stands, relationship problems are only going to get worse. Co-parenting Unions are the Best solution to this problem, because most of this issue stems from the laws, and not from women or men. Women treating men like shit, and men treating women like shit, are biproducts of the laws that enable them to do those things, which can be omitted, edited, and reoriented so that all people are taken care of, men and women, and can live well again, where both men and women desire to love each other again, without any issues of power struggles between men and women that exist in practically every traditional marriage, due to powers the contract gives to women, and takes from men, regardless of prenups, which are now the equivalent of toilet paper (Ask Chris Rock). We need equity of both sexes under the law, and teamwork, not male or female supremacy, Co-parenting is the future, no matter what the religious folks will tell you. You can still have a wedding and ceremony of course, why not celebrate a union that is genuine and with it's vows not invalidated by any form of legal action, a truly united family for life. The Law Should promote this if we want stable families and children that grow up healthy and well.

SecretsofKB · Accepted Answer

I'm gonna have to disagree with you here.  I've been in love with 2 people. In neither accounts have I been abused or deceived. Both were (and one still is) incredibly loving, sweet, and kind to me.

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

Hmm, not really. If "love" is tainted by deception or abuse, there never was any love in the first place.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

That rhymes with having your cake and eating it too

LazerBean · Answer

Only if you're doing it wrong, or never had parents to teach you better.

Sisters_Of_Time · Answer

love is love! deception is deception! Abuse is abuse!

blushing_boots · Answer

Um... someone was hurt. If it's abusive it isn't love, if it's love they won't abuse you. But yes, the emotion and concept of love exists in a pure form.

Love isn't love 😍, its deception and abuse?

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