Do people enter relationships to be loved, or to give love?

[xJeremyx]

[DoctorSex]

This is a great question that to a large extent depends on whether you lean towards the introvert or Extrovert spectrum.

Of what I've encountered, Extroverts want to receive love because they invest so much of their attention in the external world. So they may feel like they're owed a little love.

Where as introverts want to give love because they've spent so much of their attention on their internal world and may feel a bit guilty and may feel like they're indebted to give love to others.

I lean more on the side of giving love In a relationship with another BUT ONLY AFTER you've built a healthy relationship with yourself.

Or more poignantly said by Christ

"Love thy Neighbour like you love yourself"

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[NathanDavis]

ideally... for reciprocation, should go both ways, back and forth...

if one or the other are in to just take, then that's going to be more of a situationship... and they will most likely miss the satisfactionship of a truer and healthier relationship... lol

[chocolatesinpockets]

And I'm sure it's honest for me to say, as much as it's emotional, I certainly love being able to be with a woman, there's just something about another real warm woman, but maybe I'm thinking too physically here, but those nights can be a little cold sometimes. When I'm not enjoying internet or couch potatoes lifestyles. 😇😋😇

[chocolatesinpockets]

Indeed, back and forth, good one 🙂 but that's honestly what most relationships either start out with or last because of physical connection, as much as just wanting to be emotionally loved. Who doesn't? Like worshipping celebrities and brands and deities. Nice 🥳

[Lucy68]

For me it's both. In relationships I'm unfortunately very affectionate, I like to spoil them by cooking for them as well as baking and buying them gifts randomly. I'm the significant other that'll show up to their job and surprise them with lunch of their favorite foods. I'm also unfortunately very romantic and just want to spend time with them.

However, there has to be something wrong with me to make them cheat and abuse me. Maybe I'm too clingy and if so that's something I'll work on.

[xJeremyx]

How is there something wrong? Any good guy DREAMS of having a lady like you. From what you describe anyway.

[nspencer]

Girl, there is nothing wrong with you and that’s great you give your all in your relationships. More people should be like that. One day you’ll meet someone that will value you as they should.

[DermalPunch]

You need to lay back and let a man earn these things. There is nothing wrong with that but you are likely showering men who have not proven themselves worthy of such. Either they are immature just assholes or worse.

[xJeremyx]

@DermalPunch I kinda disagree. You gotta show them what you can be as a partner, and if they still treat you bad, you know it is not your fault and you can leave.

Always give your all, and be a sincere person, thats my rule of thumb. Because relationships, in my opinion, are not "prove that you are a good person, then I will love you", but rather, "I will love you, but if you do not appreciate it, then I will find someone who does".

[DermalPunch]

As a woman who is giving I can tell you you absolutely cannot prove yourself to men before they prove yourself to you. You will ALWAYS be devalued. I've been railroaded enough times to know. So I will have to disagree.

[xJeremyx]

Maybe that can be true from both the male and female perspective, because it is true some men are trash.

For the rest of us men, we also have no idea if the woman we are dating is good, or if she's manipulative, takes advantage of us, etc. So by that standard, men can also take the stance that they will not give until the woman has proven that she is worth giving to.

But if both parties have that stance, it is difficult to grow in trust. Someone has to give. And it could be either the man OR the woman, given that modern dating is no longer about a man doing everything to court a woman. It goes both ways now.

With respect to that, maybe it is a good idea to give ourselves time and space to start trusting before getting into another serious relationship, because carrying emotional baggage will only hurt the next relationship.

In your case, maybe it is better to change your dating pool. If the men you get together with all exhibit such traits, then there may be an issue with the selection process. (Not criticizing you!)

Obviously, regardless of gender, giving your all in a new relationship is bonkers, but I think its a good idea for both partners to move along at the same pace, and gradually give more to each other.

[RandomGuy1032]

My stomachs not big enough to eat that much. And i dont eat seeds. Hope her wallets big.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think if you don’t love them, you won’t feel any happiness when they love you, it’s like closing your eyes and expecting to know what colour the painting is.

[Guy13]

Be loved…if they get then will give love. This usually leads to an unbalanced exchange…. that’s normal though as long as not abused. Someone always gives more than other…,

[sage2021]

I think it's both. There are guys and gals that are so full of love to give and don't have anyone to share it with. So, if you happen to find yourself in a love relationship - just hold on to each other as tight as you can! Love each other, and I mean really love each other❣️

[nspencer]

People enter relationships for all sorts of reasons, some of which have entirely selfish motives, examples including loneliness, need for attention etc. Ideally though there should be a bit of both in the relationship. You should of course feel loved but also be able to give that same love back. A lack of a give and take among both people in a relationship is core of a toxic relationship.

[chocolatesinpockets]

Probably both. But it can also be determined if it's to express love physically, or if it's just a fling medium term relationship, maybe a year or two years long.
Anyway, people enter for many reasons.

I'd enter into a relationship to be loved and to give love, both emotionally and physically. I'm a hugger, after all 😋😋 so hooray, me 🥳🥳

[mickmrly]

Some people enter relationships just to take or to avoid loneliness, but the best reason to be in a relationship is to both give and receive love, helping each other be the best person they can be.

[SnowedIn]

Should be both but I wonder whether a lot of folks start with the intense desire to be loved because all of us want that.

[chocolatesinpockets]

Sometimes it's more physical, sometimes it's more emotional, or just a longing to meet one of those or both. Sometimes people even enter into relationships that don't even last, go figure us humans huh lol 😌 a species we are 🙃

[SnowedIn]

@chocolatesinpockets 8 billion and 8 billion differences. And you're right: the emotional and the physical can fight in the mind and intertwine and overrule, etc.

[chocolatesinpockets]

Awesome have a nice day 😊

[SnowedIn]

@chocolatesinpockets you too! :)

[Alexa41991]

In reality it depends in the person, some people want to be loved, some people want to give love and others, like me for example, love the idea of having both✨️❤️

[LaBokaChula]

I think it's a little bit of both. Most people want to be loved, but a lot of us want to give love back as well.

[Tina19]

Theu give love so that they get the same in return and start to have expectations and then when iy doesn't get fulfilled their relationship starts to break so it's always give and take

[xJeremyx]

So true... We need to approach relationships with a mindset that we want to give love, instead of wanting to receive love

[Tina19]

The mindset is i am going to show you that how much i love you i will make you feel special so that you also do the same for me because i want it so bad from you to make me feel special lol 😆

[Subarugirl]

I would hope both, otherwise you shouldn't be in a relationship

[PainusNdeeAnus]

I give and give and give and I’m starting to realize how selfish most women really are a lot of my relationships die because I am constantly Being drained and unappreciated no support system whatsoever

[Noahzaid]

Simply both,

Everyone has a bit of everything to give.

Every relationship’s motive is to reach equilibrium.

[Marklaw12]

Both. I've been in various relationships to be loved. This was because most of the women I've been with asked me out. I appreciated their love but the one girl I asked out I gave my love.

[Steamnir]

Both, and if it isn't happening both ways it will fail

[Dkc123]

Men do it for either regular sex or genuinely giving love.

Women do it for social status and security

[Anonymous]

usually to get, not to give. people are selfish, remember that.

[xJeremyx]

So very true. Sadly.

[DiegoO]

Some look for both, others fall into one of the extremes, and they usually end up having a toxic relationship.

[TroyDT2]

If I deem her worthy, I will take the actions of love.

[Darine123]

I got in one cuz I want to be loved cuz I lacked of love before him

[gag6474]

for me its to give love so i feel good about myself

[BlueScorpio]

Both, at least I hope so

[Nikki1989]

Most people want both.

[dustybiker]

Both. If it’s healthy it’s both.

[Anonymous]

it's about benefits. there is not much love.. unless she or he is inexperienced

[AviatorTom]

Simple answer... YES

[Strangerdanger2120]

Both, giving and receiving is ideal

[curiousaboutthis]

both!

[Luopio27]

To make love, together, forever.

[Fuentes]

Sounds boring to me

[LavLavLuv]

I say both💑

[chocolatesinpockets]

I said similarly 👍

[boggboss]

I would assume both

[BJP21]

Both.

[Anonymous]

I say its both.

[Habuzaka]

It should be both.

[PatStClair]

To BE IN love

[Anonymous]

Usually both

[Anonymous]

Both