How do you ask your partner to do a chore?

Anonymous

Me and my boyfriend are currently clashing on how I ask him to do a chore. He thinks I pester him too much and he doesn’t like to do anything right that second. He says he will do it on his own time, not because I order him to do it. His words not mine. The thing is I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking your partner to do one thing right this second every now and then. I don’t feel that I pester him at all. I’m just a type A person so I like to get things done ASAP and know when something will be done. My boyfriend however can live with lower cleaning standards for longer (leaving dishes for longer/ leaving the bed unmade etc). But I just dont feel comfortable in an environment that’s cluttered and dirty. Anyway tonight I asked him to do one thing and he made a joke about me ‘running a tight ship’ and ‘running the place like Hitler’. I thought it was totally uncalled for since I only asked him to do one thing right that second (broken glass on the floor - I deem that as quite urgent to sort out). I had already cooked dinner and done the dishes twice I was hoping he’d just appreciate that and do it. But instead I get a joke that I’m some dictator. He says it was a joke but I believe behind every joke is a hint of truth. He must think I’m being an unreasonable dictator by asking him to do ONE thing - and I just think that’s ridiculous. Surely a man would want to help his girlfriend out when she asks? Especially if she hasn't been nagging him all day… when he reacts the way he did with this ‘on my terms’ attitude, I feel like he doesn’t care about me and my expectations. I feel that I have been the one to try to adjust to his way of doing things, I’m the dictator so I have to change. I wish he’d understand that sometimes I’m a little OCD and I’d appreciate something doing. So now we’ve had this argument about the fact that I boss him around and now I don’t know how to approach him to ask him to do something. Ahhhhhhh

How do you ask your partner to do a chore?
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