Relationships

Do you think this will end the relationship? How can I save it?

Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have been together around 4 years now. We met in undergrad through friends, I’m South Asian in grad school now, he’s African American that has a full time job, and we live about 3 hours away from each other. We have had ups and downs throughout the times over various things, but we still managed. My family is very closed minded about dating/relationships especially interracial ones so it has been tough for me to tell them about him. His family doesn’t like me much either since they’re close-minded too, but they are more willing to tolerate it for their son.

My boyfriend has told me a few times that he still wanted to meet my mom even though I requested him not to so we didn’t have to deal with the drama, once he proposed I’d just leave was the plan. At first he was fine with it, but over time he felt embarrassed/ashamed that the Asian culture isn’t accepting of him with his accomplishments. Now I’m not sure what to do to make him more content with the family aspect since he said he was unhappy with the way things are going now. What should I do?

I don’t want to purposely put myself in a stressful situation with my family because of him especially being in grad school right now too. Plus, my mom most definitely is not going to like him anyway so i don’t know what to do to help that too because he wants that acceptance and most likely will never get it. Also, he hasn’t taken the time out to learn the Asian culture like how I have for his so that’s a little worrisome.

Do you think this will end the relationship? How can I save it?
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