Why isn't my partner popping the question?

[Anonymous]

My partner and I have been together for 3 years. We recently moved in together about a year. We more or less do the duties of a married couple except it is not legal. I grew up watching all my family and even my parents live a happy married life. I don't want it to seem like I'm focusing him but my clock is ticking and he's still laid back. He was previously married, so it's not like he have a problem with getting married it's just me I guess. I have thrown subtle hints at my friends weddings but he takes no bait.

[Anonymous]

Simply put, If it's not broke no need to fix it. You've said you already do everything married couples do so there no need to change anything in his mind. Plus you said he's been married before. So clearly that didn't work out. Not saying he thinks this isn't going to work out. But why get married if divorce my follow it. See there's simply no incentive for him to marry you.

What you need to do if you ask me is decide HOW IMPORTANT marriage is to you. How much do you love this guy. I assume if you want to marry him you want to spend the rest of your life with him. You need to decide which you want more, marriage or him. Because it MIGHT come down to that. Then if it's marriage you need to make an ultimatum to him.

I know I'm telling you something you already KNOW just probably don't want to face. But understand some guys need that PUSH to commit. Especially after a trauma like a divorce. So just because he hasn't proposed DOESN'T necessarily mean in his heart he doesn't want to be married to you. You won't know till you force this answer out of him.

[Fireguy17]

He is probably very comfortable with the way things are, so he is not in any hurry to change.
You will probably have to make a decision that you don't wish to do, but if you don't the resentment may grow and fester until you end up leaving, then you will be mad at yourself for waiting so long.

[Gloree]

he doesn't need to. you're already living together. you're married. see you type of women who move in with men you're not married to are the ones spoiling men and keeping them from doing the. needful. no morals in your part. you just move in with a man just like that. then you expect a ring. keep waiting. foolish girl

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Gave away too much before marriage. Do you offer wife like services? Do you cook, clean take care of him? Ask yourself this, why would he marry you with all the possible downsides that come with a man getting married what upside do you offer to offset that

[Tracker1958]

Men are walking away from marriage. There's absolutely no good reason for a man to get married. Family courts and the Government has killed marriage with the help from women. The divorce rate is over 50 percent and you women are the ones that file for the divorce 85 percent of the times. 90 percent for college women. In a few more years, marriage will be a thing of the pass.

[slatyb]

If it's important to you, ask him yourself. You should have discussed this before you moved in together. It's quite possible he doesn't want to be married again.

[LazerBean]

Why would he? He's already getting everything he's going to get from you without it. Doesn't sounds like he's even mentioned that he's wanting to get married again, either.

[LazerBean]

Wow you're obsessed with me.

[Tracker1958]

People treat each other like they rent cars at the airport, test drive them and try another one in a week or two.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

He’s not popping the question because he’s a smart man & doesn’t want to deal with the three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring & suffering.

[anon1903]

He was previously married, so it's not like he have a problem with getting married

You can't assume that. You're pressuring him.

[FilmGuy93]

He's already getting the perks of a marriage without actually marrying you. If it's not causing him problems, why would he bother changing anything?

[TroyDT2]

"We more or less do the duties of a married couple..."

Why? He's already got the benefits without the legal and financial obligations.

[spartan55]

Those hints are as good as saying nothing. Talk to him about it, you know, like adults do?

[spartan55]

Or just do nothing and wait around for the light to go on.

[Sour-rose]

Well if he's been previously married, he probably ain't that ready to do it... just yet.

[jayhams]

If you guys are at the point of that being an option you should already know the answer based on communication. You shouldn't marry someone you can't communicate with properly.

[KrakenAttackin]

Because only an idiot gets married. Why do you need the governments gun to the head of your man to be happy? Do you realize how fucked up that is?

[Asker]

It's my religious belief and I will like the guy that I'm with make me a honest woman. It's very distasteful to be referring to my partner as my boyfriend at this age.

[KrakenAttackin]

Your boyfriend is smart enough not to get married. Also, you didn't answer my question.

[BarryLiverstone]

Don’t be a jackass

[KrakenAttackin]

@BarryLiverstone Don't be a complete, total, idiot, simp.

[BarryLiverstone]

Why do incels use this word simp?

[KrakenAttackin]

@BarryLiverstone Ah, incel... the word of feminist. I assume you are bisexual as well.

[Asker]

It's messed up for you. If that's the way that you think but for me and what I stand for and believe no it's not. It's amazing how men no longer believe that marriage is something sacred and cherished. I don't blame you everything have changed throughout time. I just still believe in the traditional ways because that's what I was raised in and amongst.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. Of course you believe in traditional ways, it benefits you tremendously. Men have zero to gain and everything to lose in marriage.

[Pyrofox]

Unfortunately its very true what @KrackenAttackin. Marriage is seen now a days as a liability not a plus in a relationship the idea that marriage is tax cuts etc the irony is a lot of guys are aware how marriage courts really don't give a flying fuck about the husband. Those marriage related benefits are more often then just ripped from the husband and given to the wife. Out of alleged "damages" a lot of guys have grown weary of being a husband in a legal marriage sense since lots of women are just taking their husbands bank accounts as essentially piggy banks. there's a reason marriage at least in the US are down to 25% of what they use to be.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Pyrofox Marriage rates are at the lowest point in recorded history. How did this happen. Feminism and their brutal laws.

[Pyrofox]

Nah not feminism and the feminists or laws its SHIT TIER marriage court.

[jshm2]

Because why buy the cow, when you are getting the milk for free?

[linka_pat307]

Maybe you are expecting more cuz there are couples who live and date for ten years

Maybe God had a reasons why he is delaying.. okie

[BarryLiverstone]

He doesn’t realize he could lose you. Why haven’t you told him you are moving out?

[Asker]

I haven't thought about that, but it comes like I'll be moving out of my house. He came to live with me.

[KrakenAttackin]

Yeah, ultimatums, they always work.😏

[Asker]

I just want us to make this decision together and it not be something. I'm forcing.

[Pyrofox]

If you resort to ultimatiums he's gonna just cold shoulder you. Men typically don't take kindly to manipulation.

[quaranta]

@Pyrofox Exactly, I was about to advise against that. You want to keep your relationship based on trust, not on threats.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because you're a sucker.