What should I do now please?

[artsy_dragon]

I woke up and took my meds. My boyfriend wanted to cuddle which is not normal for when we wake up. Turns out he had a hard on.

Anyways we have sex. He finishes and we cuddle for a while. I'm tired still at this point so I'm going back to bed. He goes on the computer and plays COD. I ask him to cuddle again and he says we just did and then continues to ingnore me.

I normally zone out during sex and now I know why, it is so I don't get hurt. I said how I felt and he said you're the one who gave me a bj. I feel so used and alone.

I'm probably over reacting to this. My period is 10 days latest this point. I called my doctors but they have no available appointments. I can't afford a decent pregnancy test. I'm stressed and tired now.

I can't just leave. We share rent, bills etc. I can't afford to live by myself and I definitely can't afford university dorm rooms. My family will not want me especially if I am actually pregnant. I've got no friends who I can stay with. And I am not considered vulnerable enough to get help.

I don't know what to do. I feel defeated. Does anyone know where I can get decent pregnancy tests in the UK that are cheap and not Clear Blue. I also don't want to go to a pharmacy or a sexual health clinic. I think I want help but I am not sure anymore 😕

[Rosexøxø]

Well, I can’t address the pregnancy part because it’s delicate; I may not give the best, clear and unbiased advice, but I do know

in an non-pregnant situation, (and if I were in that situation), I would USE him back and in the meanwhile, while I silently saved up and prepped for my leaving him altogether: bills, place, dick, and all.

He doesn’t love you sis. Most men understand they can be a bit more sexual than women, at times, but they always find moments to naturally resort to affection, and/or they make time for that because they know their women value that ESPECIALLY if their spouse/girlfriend/ s/o announced/ vocalized that.

He’s being cold to you and doesn’t value you sis, and if I had the means I would absolutely punch him for you.

Use him back. Sex itself isn’t bad and should feel good. If you can use HIM and think of him being degraded and used, it could help?

Plan your next moves accordingly and don’t let him know your next move 🙅‍♀️

either this^^,

or if you need a less stressful way about, and if he is toxic

(Which he may very well be), you need to find a job that offers free housing, or a shelter that isn’t rough or toxic, and apply for section-8 if that is available in your country or a parallel; the shelter route is as temporary until you decide to be a homeowner, or so.

Can also check to see if anyone is looking for roommates to board with, to share rent portions, and that way you’d be dealing with little to no idiocy from people at a shelter and such. (I’d recommend this as second to asking a relative for temporary boarding).

When you choose, whichever route (that may be somewhat uneasy now, but pay off in the long run), make sure to reach out to family for ANY kind of assistance. Look for any assistance programs from your government, and any freebies online. Consider any side hustle for the extra cash.

Not to worry on the pregnancy thing. If you can’t afford bc or the likes, definitely prepare to leave him or lie to him (in this case), saying you have some type of vaginitis or maybe even an STD or some developed herpes. Just go about it in a smart way so it’s believable FOR THE MOST PART because I don’t think he’d care to fact check your info. either way.

Dont worry. The soonest thing you can do now is treat yourself to a nice shower/bath. A nice snack. Get cozy and watch a nice show or film, if not a romantic film or rom-com, a comedy or even action to get your mind in a ‘hyper stimulated state,’ and away from your situation (temporarily of course).

Just rest if it’s night, nap for a bit to replenish and consider a day off if it’s day, and begin the official process for the next day, when you’ve had adequate sleep, feel a little cared for, and can function a bit better.

Tell HIM it’s a sick day and for now, some period stuff, so he will give you your space. 💆‍♀️

Understand he may need you too, for rent adjustments. He just may be playing in on your emotions. He knows you’re a female, but he may not have any back ups either so rest a little assured in that token truth.

• Rest now
• Officially consider this tomorrow

what you plan for somewhat long term, regardless, ensure you notify your family. You may not feel as if they care, but they will up their game most likely, for a situation like this.

Do not even let yourself break in a sweat now. Not now. You can do that later if you wish, but just rest and take care of YOU.

You’re gonna be okay and you have a week or two or so to think and plan on any final decision, if you were pregnant or not, to keep or not.

There is also adoption (I’m just reminding), but you don’t have to feel obligated. There are some bad stories with adoption but I also know a few people who are adopted and actually received a great financial foundation and some happy guardians.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU CHOOSE.

UNDERSTAND YOUR VALUE.

You’re worth the self care 💇‍♀️ 💆‍♀️ 🧖🏼‍♀️

movie, and snacks, and rest.

Do a face mask or foot mask, and hair mask if you want. Do a natural one from an online source, if you don’t have any handy.

• make a heated rice sock if you have cramps

• ice packs if anything aches.

Just refresh yourself and be ready to start up new tomorrow.

Just gather yourself for now, and let your body recharge.

Listen to asmr if you need, or a YouTube blogger; anything to feel calm and diminish any feelings of being alone

because those are just feelings and don’t serve YOU.

Make everything in your world serve you because you’re a queen, okay? 😭🤧

It’s gonna be okay sis. I just hate to see anyone in the likes of this. It’s seriously not an issue and indeed possible to resolve, I’m just getting emotional lol

hold on now!

okay 🫂

I shared what I needed to and a little bit more (sorry lol)

and my dms are always open and I’ll do my best to get to them whenever I can, truly.

[artsy_dragon]

Thank you so much and I will definitely do that! 🤗

[CoolCatMar1]

Sis i feel so bad for you. You seem like such an angel omg.. anyway, you should definitely leave him. If you have friends (besties) ask them to live in their houses for a while. Find a job and rent a small apartment. I am sure you will find what you prefer. Also talk to your boyfriend and see if you aren't over reacting

[artsy_dragon]

Thanks but I don't have any friends. I work part time but can't afford to live alone unfortunately

[YourFavoriteFriend]

I'm sorry for what you've are going through my dear! I would suggest that your first move is to start developing a way to be with him, been able to show that you want him but deep down, not want him. Like @Rosexøxø said, use him like he's using you! As for sex, start to denying it here and there and see how he reacts. If he gets angry, then go to attack mode and make sure you call him out on his bullshit. If he's immature but is welling to change for you, he will. If not, you should start acting like you love him but secretly start searching for someone else. Yes, I HATE cheating like hell and there is no justification but in your case, it doesn't matter as your life is hell anyways and if your parents either don't want you like you said or their home will also be a terrible environment, you are better of finding a better man with a stable economical state, ideally an older one.

[EricJonesAB]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down, but if you don't want to go to a doctor or pharmacy I guess you just have to be patient. You're either gonna start your period soon or not.

If you've been using birth control properly you shouldn't be pregnant, but only you guys know those details.

[artsy_dragon]

Thanks and yeah I take my pill at the same, e time everyday!

[EricJonesAB]

Oh, then maybe there is some other reason for you to be late. Maybe your medication has something to do with it?
I know that even birth control can sometimes cause a woman to get her period late or even just spotting as opposed to normal. My ex-wife and I had several situations like this. We never actually had a baby until she was off birth control and I wasn't using condoms either. We wanted one at that time though. I hope you can scrape together a bit of money and go to the drugstore to get a pregnancy test.
Good luck with everything.

[artsy_dragon]

Thank you!

[EricJonesAB]

You're welcome.

[SnowedIn]

I have no med advice for the UK but I just wanted to say I read your post and my heart hurts. I'm really sorry this all happened. That sucks and I wish you all the best. That's not much but it's heartfelt.

[FunkyMonkee]

Can't say as I blame you for how you feel!! He sounds pretty self-centered, to me!! Had you asked me for more cuddling, I'd have gotten right back into bed with you for as long as you wanted.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I always thought you had the perfect life from how you talked.

[artsy_dragon]

How do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

You always seem so nice and calm. Like everything is working out for you in life. I am sorry you're going through this.

[artsy_dragon]

Oh no lol haha it is just a persona!

[Opinion Owner]

It's not just a persona. You do have a very kind heart. You're a good person with a lot of depth to you. :)

[artsy_dragon]

Thanks and you too!

[Nahid1707]

Good Luck with that
You definitely need someone to talk to Away from your partner

[Nahid1707]

Good Luck with getting a pregnancy test to avoid any confusion 😊

[artsy_dragon]

Thanks also I still need to buy a decent one!

[Nahid1707]

You’re welcome
Yea, that’s the part i can’t help you with
As it’s a real life matter for you to buy 😅

[artsy_dragon]

No I know 😂

[Nahid1707]

Last question from me now
Are you a little frustrated?

What i mean is, i can see you’re loyal to your boyfriend.
Some users suggest you two break up, i can see this
You clearly don’t want to end the relationship

i know you’re trying to show me and others you’re a loyal girlfriend

My recent suggestions in your recent questions of you need a guy friend or two to talk to Away from your partner is simply said because of you two schedules and time table
Sorry for long message 😊

[artsy_dragon]

It is hard we have been together for a long time and been through a lot together.

[Nahid1707]

Nice answer
Shows your loyal girlfriend side

You do seem a little frustrated
As you want to spend time with him
He wants you to relax more 😊
With everything you said such as the schedule you two have