MEN : what do you really want in a woman?

[PhenomenalQueen]

(When it comes to relationships, marriage, etc..

[Guy13]

Graciousness, Agape, Faithfulness, nice butt, Tongue restraint, Cleanliness, Junk not hanging out everywhere, I'm already a man and one is enough, smiles, an earned Respect-that's not free for either of us..., Family vision... off top of my head.

[Berethor]

Good looks, not being a ho, have an maternal instinct, cooking and cleaning is also nice.

[TheSpaceGnome]

1. 100% biologically female, very busty, cute face, thick scalp hair, not overweight.
2. An atheist who likes science, especially paleontology and astronomy.
3. Enjoys playing difficult video games for the challenge, comedy, suspense, action, and artistic value, does not rage quit or get mad when losing.
4. Would like to learn to make video games, toys, books, etc. eventually, or does already/knows how to already.
5. Is a talented artist (even if she doesn't think so), who loves to draw/create.
6. Likes sci-fi and fantasy.
7. Likes cartoons/anime.
8. Likes cats and wild animals/exotic pets/nature, does not freak out around "creepy crawlies"
9. Is kind hearted, bubbly, emotional, and silly, but driven, logical and calm when appropriate, and doesn't get mad, depressed, or freak out over trivial things, and enjoys a good scary game or sci-fi monster horror, and can appreciate life's comforts, excitements, and routine in a hedonistic manner.
10. Has never had any STIs/STDs.
11. Is a virgin with no kids, and does not want any kids ever.
12. Is monogamous, loyal, easily bored when by herself, and is needy for attention/clingy, both mentally and physically.
13. Doesn't gossip, spread rumors, or tell secrets, prefers to talk about ideas and cool stuff rather than people or what they are doing.
14. Has a high sex drive but excellent self control, likes porn, makes lewd jokes, is not a prude.
15. Doesn't drink any alcohol ever, doesn't smoke anything, doesn't use weed, doesn't use any other drugs, and has never been a user of any of those her whole life.
16. Has never been married.
17. Knows precisely what she wants in life, and in a husband.
18. Has never cheated on anyone.
19. Values money and capitalism enough to see it as a solution to bartering, but not so much as to prioritize it over love or morality, a charitable mind when life permits it.
20. Listens to theatrical symphonic, metal, and electronic music genres.

@phenomenalqueen Now you make a list, and be just as picky. Women always ask men what they want, but I almost never see women be honest and do the same, its always a list of what a women thinks is offputting, never what triggers her admiration to the point of "omg yes that one is perfect".

[TheSpaceGnome]

@AmyHew1tt See? Not so hard to write out. Not ashamed of any of it, not aiming low, not worried about judgement.

[AmyHew1tt]

So, just curious, if she met 80% of this criteria, would she still be an option, or out the door unless she's 100%?

[PhenomenalQueen]

Hmm well mine is more simple as I don’t think like other women..

1. He has to be taller than me.. the shortest guy I’ve dated was 5’8.
2. He has to have a good/respectful relationship with his family and ESPECIALLY his mother.
3. He doesn’t have a negative or toxic view of women.
4. He is actively working on himself.
5. He has realistic short term and long term goals.
6. If he has a children from a past relationship, he has a mature relationship with their mother AND she’s mature and knows how to coparent.
7. He knows how to treat a lady..
8. He’s a gentleman and a man of good morals/character
9. He has a career. (Not working a bunch of dead end jobs)
10. He has a car.
11. He knows how to work with his hands.
12. He has a romantic side..
13. He knows how to have a good time..
14. He isn’t a extremely jealous type of guy..
15. He likes going out or at least driving around getting out of the house..
16. He is mature
17. He has a healthy communication style..
18. He’s honest
19. His past relationships have been long term and they didn’t end on bad terms.
20. He doesn’t live in the past..
21. He knows what he wants in a relationship..
22. He listens to similar music that I do and if not, he’s open to other styles.
23. He’s affectionate and loves hugging as much as I do.
24. He isn’t afraid to open up about his feelings or opinion.
25. He is okay with having sex a few times a week.. (spontaneous)
26. He’s okay with me liking roleplay lmao

Those are the ones that are immediate there’s a few more, but you get an idea.

[PhenomenalQueen]

Isn’t as simple** sorry lol

[TheSpaceGnome]

@AmyHew1tt All of it, there were many others, and I cut those out of my list because they did not cause conflicts.

Only exception would be if she can give a reason she's not a virgin that does not make her a risk factor for stds or cheating. The idea is measuring her personal safety importance + her intelligence of disease prevention and pregnancy risk + her willingness to wait until she is certain it's the right guy.

So for example, a woman who got raped, ended up with no stds, and no kids, is still qualified despite techincally not being a virgin. And a woman who had sex with a guy who conned her for years into thinking he's something he's not, but again, resulted in no stds and no kids, is also still qualified. It's really just an anti-promiscuity/safety/anti-cheating thing, and the fact that I want to stay child free.

The rest are set in stone, they are required, but the thing is, if she likes even 50% of the same stuff, the odds of her meeting 100% of the rest of those things, is 90%, because its all artistic nerd stuff.

[TheSpaceGnome]

As far as number 1. on the list goes, thats more physical traits, and the reason I can't budge on it, has to do with me not having any say over what my penis likes 🤷🏻 Thats all decided by my genes.

[AmyHew1tt]

This is a good list👌

[TheSpaceGnome]

@PhenomenalQueen Thank you :)

I have some questions though, as some are non descript.

"2. He has to have a good/respectful relationship with his family and ESPECIALLY his mother."
What if his mom is an asshole, or just hates him or you? Would you still love him?

"3. He doesn’t have a negative or toxic view of women."
Which women? Some women are assholes, others are very sweet.

"4. He is actively working on himself."
In what ways? This can mean many things, and some people's progress are other's regressions or detriments.

"7. He knows how to treat a lady.."
Ladies logically would all want varied and different treatments, whats your cup of tea as far as that goes?

"8. He’s a gentleman and a man of good morals/character"
What does this entail for you? Morals and social conduct vary both by culture and individual.

"9. He has a career. (Not working a bunch of dead end jobs)"
Since a career is intended to be enjoyable work, one would prefer to stay, are you meaning he needs to go up the employment ladder? Would this then exclude self employment and utility jobs like being an electrition or other "fixed" jobs?

"11. He knows how to work with his hands."
Meaning? Artist? Mechanic? Engineer? Anything more specific? or just in general?

"12. He has a romantic side.."
What do you personally view as romantic? People haver drastically different ideas about whats prefered for romance.

Continued in part 2..

[TheSpaceGnome]

"13. He knows how to have a good time.."
Whats your idea of a good time? Mine is creating things, playing video games, learning about science, watching a good movie or cartoon/anime or doing sexual acts.

15. He likes going out or at least driving around getting out of the house..
To where? Where do you like to go?

"16. He is mature"
Explain mature.

"17. He has a healthy communication style.."
What style/styles of communication do you deem healthy?

"19. His past relationships have been long term and they didn’t end on bad terms."
If they were long, and had no bad terms, he would still be with her. I think this one would actually be impossible for anyone to fulfill, unless I'm misinterpreting?

"20. He doesn’t live in the past.."
Does this include geologists and astronomers?

"22. He listens to similar music that I do and if not, he’s open to other styles."
What do you listen to?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I think this highlights what I was talking about, there is still a lot of vagueness in this list, I had to ask for clarification on most of it. This is very common for women unfortunately, it leaves a lot to the imagination, and thats never good.

[TheSpaceGnome]

When I look at profiles online and they are not descriptive enough, I hit pass, as do many guys. it would be a good idea if more women were open and specific about what they want so they can land a match.

[PhenomenalQueen]

2. Yes I’ve been in that situation before where I was hated.
3. Yes but I mean gender, not specific people. There’s men who HATE us simply for being women. Lol
4. By this, I mean, we all have work to do on ourselves. So, that would mean he is actively working to be the best version of himself. (So think progress)
7. For me it’s when you think of how a majority of men used to be.. opening doors, respectful of their in-laws, pulling chairs out, picking up on the tab (not always of course), picking you up and dropping you off at home.. calling to make sure you’re safe.. etc… those men who TRULY want to be with you. They show in their actions not words.. so for me it’s that old fashioned type of love.
8. Most people have good morals and character.. so for the most part he’s a guy that’s trustworthy, he’s a man that you would WANT for your daughter.. he respects the “rules” and boundaries that you lay in front of him.. (those rules could be whatever you make of them) he doesn’t take advantage of situations or people..
10. Well the example you used is a good one, that’s something that’s always going to be in demand.. it doesn’t necessarily need to be a corporate type position.. police, nurse, firefighter, dentist, etc…
11. I just mean he can fix things.. at least common things around the house. At least the basics.
12. Romantic meaning he likes being affectionate, he has a way with words (flirty like), he is a guy who likes cuddling and showing his feelings for me. He likes taking long walks and he is able to be okay even doing nothing.. we can just lay there and be intimate. Not a lot of people can do this as many will get bored. They don’t fully understand what it means to give someone intimacy most think this word means sex.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats much clearer, thank you :)

This is what guys look for on dating profiles, very clear concise descriptions of the kind of guy you want (That, and the same for what kind of woman you are).

[PhenomenalQueen]

13. Any of those things would counts having a good time, but I wasn’t speaking on sex.. basically ANYTHING other than that being the main focus.. I like men who know how to go out and just enjoy life.. whether that’s going to the beach, going skiing, going to the movies, etc. etc..
15. I’m a person who likes going out and discovering new places.. so driving without a destination.
16. He has already became or is becoming the best version of himself… for example he’s sensible, he’s patient, he’s able to hold himself accountable, he listens more, respectful of other’s opinions, he practices self control, he invests his emotional energy wisely… etc.. etc..
17. A good example I guess is, he’s not a break up through text guy.. or he’s not a person who shuts down when they’re having a disagreement.. he is able to sit and communicate in a healthy way, he knows that he doesn’t have to always agree with what someone says, but he’s mindful that he’s being respectful.. he can get his point across without being upset or offended someone.
19. Yea you’re misinterpreting… I was in a relationship for over 10 years and things ended in good terms. Meaning there’s no resentment, there were no bad words said, etc.. etc.. that’s what I mean by that.
20.. umm I feel like this is self explanatory… lmao that means he’s not bringing up ex’s for example
22. I’ll list one type of music I listen to because I feel this is irrelevant, but rock.

[PhenomenalQueen]

Well, dating profiles are hit and miss because most of the time you’re dealing with catfish. If we’re being realistic, you can’t have high expectations if you’re using a dating app.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Realistically speaking, to find lasting companionship, one must wade through a sea of catfish and poor matches while being very picky. It's unpleasent, it takes a looooong time, it might become expensive, but the alternatives are ending up alone or in a loveless marriage, and thats worse.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Settling is a path to certain failure.

[PhenomenalQueen]

I agree.. settling is never for the better.. It’s not being picky, it’s not settling. Lol I wouldn’t settle either if I were a guy.

[HighValue]

18 to 30 (over 30 equals no interest), hasn't done any hook ups or ONS, doesn't do any drugs (no weed either), doesn't drink alcohol or drinks very rarely and is willing to quit, doesn't smoke, no kids from past relationships, but does want some with the right person, no contact with any ex, once in a relationship won't be posting revealing and flirty pictures online for attention, will be very affectionate with me and she initiates the affection sometimes too, doesn't have an immoral job or one that requires her to spend multiple days away from home (traveling), no tattoos or very few (each tattoo makes her less attractive to me), will exercise every week just like I will to stay healthy and in shape for long term, is not hypocritical. If she likes playing board games and riding bikes together that would be even better. If she wants marriage, she needs to be okay signing a prenuptial agreement so I keep all of what I have earned.

[Nahid1707]

Interesting answers already


I’ll keep mine my answer simple as it can be


Honesty, good communication, respect


Understanding, Loving and rejects others only for him
Makes sense?😊

[Anonymous]

Most men want total control. Wait till you read the comments here.

[MendaciousMarxist]

men who answer these types of questions don't want a woman, they want a sex toy

[TheSpaceGnome]

Control is a compensation for conflict, people control what they hate, not what they love. Anyone who's controlling is simply afraid to admit they are with the wrong person.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

@MendaciousMarxist Do you wanna be my sex toy?

[RandomGuy1032]

@YourFavoriteFriend lmao

[Apple1996]

For real. There is a reason why all these guys here are single. They looking for a woman that doesn't exist

[ArtemisSilver]

I want a smart woman who's going to match my ambition, and cover my weak points. If she can cook and satisfy me in bed too then she's perfect.

[BJP21]

As long as they dont gaslight, are mentally/emotionally abusive, or suffer from cognitive dissonance of any kind.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Cooks

Cleans

good at giving bj

Good in bed

she's against lgbtq

She's a not feminist.

[Anonymous]

Her love and devotion (not in the religious sense).

[Anonymous]

a lot of them want kids and I don't and they start with the whole biology story and degrad the poor woman.

[misogynistic_pig]

Beautiful and submissive woman.

[msc545]

Sanity helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Honesty and effort.