Why do people who love being blunt get upset when people they give " brutal honesty" to end up rejecting them, why do blunt people hate being tactful?

[jongreat46]

[TonyV]

Well to your first question, assuming they got asked and answered and then were rejected cause the person didn't like what they said, they get mad cause they got asked, they answered, then someone git mad at them, it's like if you didn't want my take don't ask me, I'm sorry I didn't say the magic words you wanted to hear.

And as the the second question cause blunt and tact are completely opposite of each other. Maybe you don't get it cause you aren't blunt but to us blunt people, being tactful is just an exhausting chore. I don't want to listen to your life story, then make a 3 page essay explaining which parts I do and don't agree with and what I sympathize with just so you can except my answer.

Example, say I don't know, one of the trans women on here asks why she can't find men interested in her, you could be tactful and tell her she deserves blah blah blah and tell her you like the effort she put into looking female and blah blah blahhhhh..
Or just be blunt and brutally honest and tell her men aren't interest cause you aren't a real woman and still don't pass as one physiclly.

[Price511]

Giving it to them bluntly is a way of being less filtered and more freely spoken, but also to speak before thinking about it too. Tactfulness and holding words till you’ve carefully articulated them aren’t typical things someone with blunt honesty does; they say it as it is, whether that’s a good choice or not.


Why they are upset that their choices made that set of actions occur when they are being a bit less careful with their words, I have no clue. They made their bed, now they lie in it.

[jongreat46]

If anything they should be more honest with themselves and admit they have no filter.

[Haha456]

Its because some people are more "straightforward" than others when it comes to communication. Its not that we are intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. I am a straightforward person myself and I get called "blunt" or "rude" often times.

But really , its just that there are a lot of people out there who get offended very easily. They are people who cannot take a step back and admit that they've done something wrong. Rather , they prefer to argue with you or accuse you of being a bully or mean.

here's a secret to life: People operate on their emotions or ego rather than logical or objectivity. People believe what makes them feel good, not what is true. If you are going to tamper with their emotions or ego, get ready for trouble

[kylee2437]

I’ve noticed that people that describe themselves as brutally honest are only honest when it doesn’t count and the reason being is because they think that being hurtful to others is being honest when in reality, it’s them being a coward. If you are only honest to useless material, you are a coward/bully.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

You’re assuming being honest has to be hurtful.. yes sometimes the truth hurts, but lies hurt more. And saying someone is honest to boost their ego🤷‍♀️No some people are honest because they won’t lie and because they don’t believe in playing games..
Oh and next time you want to argue with someone why not do it on your own thread or theirs instead of mine… and the way you were conducting yourself? As you say people who are honest are mean and bullies… yeah okay🙄

[kylee2437]

@Brainsbeforebeauty if you honestly think your perspective holds any weight, go back to your own comment and see what kind of people your perspective attracts.

[kylee2437]

@brainbeforebeauty and why do I need to bring a convo to the thread when I am not the person that started the argument? Lmao lack of accountability of the type of people your perspective attracts

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

My perspective? By saying brutal honesty doesn’t always mean mean? Why don’t you look up the definition of brutal honesty, because I don’t think you even know what it means. You while accusing anyone that believes in being honest not sugar coating the truth as bullies as you attacking strangers in the internet, yeah okay hon lol

[kylee2437]

@Brainsbeforebeauty once again, go back to your thread and view what kind of people your mindset attracts. I didn’t attack anyone at all lmao the other person that your perspective attracted however called me all sorts of names. And not only that, you called me out on my own thread for something I didn’t even start lmfao 50 years old and don’t even have a single clue how to take accountability

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

You go back and see how you were just as responsible, you went back and forth 73 times, take your own accountability. As you were talking about being mature, you were anything but on that thread…And that’s honesty without name calling😊

[kylee2437]

@Brainsbeforebeauty I can reply to whatever I choose, just like you came and started unreasonable shit with me because you didn’t like notifications on an app that involves getting potential endless notifications. I never said me arguing was mature lol I take accountability with my shit. As a 50 year old, it’s quite sad that you enjoy arguing with someone on an app that is 25 years younger than you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

How did I start unseasonable shit? Did I insult you? Did I attack you? I simply said if you want to fight and name call keep it off my thread. I don’t have to resort to that immature behavior. But yes, calling out the hypocrisy. People being truthful means they’re bullies yet you behaved like one on that thread. Maybe instead of judging situations you know nothing about, you should look more towards your own behavior.
Oh and you can keep bringing up my age. I’m acting mine, you act yours

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh and as far as what kind of people, weren’t you the first to reply to my thread😂😂

[kylee2437]

@Brainsbeforebeauty you went out of your way to literally specify that I should bring arguments to my own thread when you are literally on an app that is made for debating opinions, not only that but you commented on a public forum and I voiced my opinion towards your point of view and that user came out of no where and started name calling me. That is not my fault lmao. And “hypocrisy” I’m hypocritical for debating with someone? Lmfao I never said arguing was mature, I think the point of view that thinking you can spew out any kind of walk with no consequence is immature. You can try to dictate with me what I am all you want, I know what I am and I didn’t say I’m mature in every subject but once again, go back to the forum and go look at what your point of view attracts

[kylee2437]

@Brainsbeforebeauty normal 50 year olds are not on apps designed to be for kids. Imagine complaining about notifications when you can literally delete the app and go enjoy your life. Like I said, lack of accountability

[RandomGuy1030]

Nah, bursting the bubble of posers isn't being a coward

[kylee2437]

@RandomGuy1030 actually it is because you can literally burst the bubble with assertive kindness. I literally did it yesterday with someone I walk talking to and ended things with yesterday. He can’t say I ever said anything rude towards him

[kylee2437]

Was talking to*

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Back up, it wasn’t about notifications. I don’t condone people attacking each other. Learn how to communicate properly.
Everything you are accusing that other user of you’re guilty of yourself. So GAG is just for kids huh 🤔 then why are you on here? You’re behavior was childish I agree, but 25 is no longer a child. Again, I think you should read what you’re posting. Saying it’sa public website, then saying I shouldn’t be on here cuz of my age. More hypocrisy. But I’m done here, one last thing though, communication isn’t just running your mouth, it’s using your ears to hear what other people are saying. But okay, you have a good night now.

[kylee2437]

@Brainsbeforebeauty I attacked absolutely nobody lmfao I explained why your point of view is flawed and that username proved point after point of why your point of view is flawed and messy. Also, 25 is not a kid, however you are twice my age and fully believe that not being careful with what you say is an effective way of communicating and that sounds like a personal problem and is probably why you are 50 on an app because you truly aren’t honest and use this app to be cruel to others. And “hypocrisy” I’m using the app for what it is for.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

nobody on here seems to agree with you nor like you.

[Guy13]

It is not that we do not like a blunt and/or to the point woman but don't expect us to hear a thing if it is full of, all over the place, verbal, written, or emoji emotion. If it happens once, I respond, and we get through then Fine.

If it happens again: 1. I don't need another Job and 2. Read. And if you follow-up again, before I feel like responding to more of the same thing as last week, Then GHOST directly bypassing Friend or F-U Zones.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Brutal honesty doesn’t necessarily mean “brutal”. You can look up the definition. Just means they don’t beat around the bush or sugar coat the truth.

[kylee2437]

Ehhh I’ve noticed that most people that describe themselves as this do best around the bush to things that matter and only care about truths when it’s there to hurt others

[kylee2437]

Beat**

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

People operate on their emotions or ego rather than logical or objectivity. People believe what makes them feel good, not what is true.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 Exactly. Like how can something be true if you are using emotion to dictate how you communicate to people?

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

just because some people are more straightforward whe ncommnicting things you don't like to hear, it doesn't make them evil. Its just that they are more straightfoward in their communication. Some people are not good at beating around the bush or being super creative with their criticism.

and secondly, you need to understand that people believe in what makes them feel good. People do not care to believe in what is true if it is offensive.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 if you can’t take into account that communicating properly takes effort and thought, then you lack accountability. Being straight forward means you take thought into what you say. Using impulsions to communicate is not being straight forward

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

Not everyone is creative like you. Everyone's minds is designed differently. Just because you know how to be witty, it doesn't mean I know how to be witty too. Just because you know how to manipulate your words, it does not mean I know how to do it too.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

Its like saying that just because a guy knows how to be funny, then I should expect you to be funny too. People's minds are not designed to be the same. Some people are more honest. Some people are more dishonest. Others are smooth talkers while I'm not as good as smooth talking.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 you don’t need to be creative to hold a certain level of maturity. And prosper communication skills isn’t manipulation, it’s maturity.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 no one said everyone has to be the same, I am saying it’s a difference between being immature and mature. I know for a fact most people in this world are immature

[kylee2437]

Proper*

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

As a blunt person, I have a hard time trying to look for creative ways to lace or design my sentences in a way to protect your feelings. And I don't have 1 hour to design my sentences in a nice way every time before I tell you something "not so nice".

And you know what? I dont feel bad if you're offended. Because it just means you're not tough enough to handle life. Life is not roses, rainbows, unicorns and fairytales.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 you aren’t taking accountability however, so yes you speak other peoples truths but you don’t speak your own truths. How you say something to someone does put into affect whether or not that person has a right to be upset with you, and just sometimes it’s 100% your fault. If you aren’t thinking about the other persons feelings, then you aren’t looking to tell the truth, you are looking to boost your own ego. And I’m simply not offended. You being too immature to evaluate and take accountability is not my problem lol

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

if the criticism is 100% true, then you deserve it. Don't accuse me of being evil. Because I did not lie.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

am i accusing you of something false? NO.

Am I lying? NO

you're one of those immature assholes who can't admit it when they've done something wrong.

you're one of those assholes who always have to be right.

if anyone tells you that you are wrong, you go take revenge on them.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 speaking truths to boost your ego is evil, sorry not sorry. Getting defensive with me because you lack accountability is a huge problem. I can tell you probably live a life of struggle lol oh well

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

if what I said is a fact, how am I saying it to boost my ego?

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

its a fact, bitch.

is it illegal to talk about "facts"?

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 you just proved my point lol I guess I’m a bitch for speaking the truth about you, huh 🤷🏻‍♀️

[kylee2437]

That’s why parents with morals and respect teach their kids to say please and thank you as a kid because how you talk to people matters.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

i think it is immoral to put lies over truths.

i respect the truth enough not to lie.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 no you only respect your truths that boost your ego, which is why you felt the need to call me a bitch lol

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

if you have stage 4 cancer, I'm not gonna tell you that you have stage 1 cancer , just to make you feel better about it.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

because you are a bitch. you're accusing of things that i am not.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 I thought you only speak facts, but your OPINION of me is that I am a bitch lol 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I am not accusing you, you told on yourself of who you are as a person

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

how are you not a bitch if you are accusing me of random shit that you can't prove?

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

where is your proof that i am a evil person trying to attack you?

[Haha456]

you're acting as if me stating facts is like me trying to scheme to murder you.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

since when was stating facts a crime?

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 the fact that you felt the need to call me a bitch because you use emotion to speak your facts because you are an ego driven person

[kylee2437]

Using your emotions and ego to dictate who you are as a person is evil

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

I have the right to be pissed off because you're accusing me of shit that is not true.

you're the one who is evil. Intentionally trying to cast innocent people as evil just cuz they said something you didn't like hearing.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 no you are pissed off because you can’t accept your own truth meanwhile you try to dictate other peoples “truths” . You have proved my point lol you are only around when a truth is there to boost your ego

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

If you can't handle facts, then that is your problem. Not mine.

I've done nothing wrong. And I don't need to persuade you that I've done nothing wrong.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

quit making up "ego" stories.

stating facts have nothing to do with ego.

nobody is responsible for you being a weak spineless pig.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 stating your opinion of how you feel about me out of anger isn’t stating facts. Facts have evidence to prove. And you calling me spineless because you can’t accept your lack of accountability of yourself is not my problem lol Again if doesn’t take creativity to say please and thank you, it takes someone that thinks before they speak and has morals/manners

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

Just because you didn't like hearing a "fact", it does not make it an "opinion".

facts will be facts regardless if you like it or not.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

[Again if doesn’t take creativity to say please and thank you, it takes someone that thinks before they speak and has morals/manners]

lying to make you feel better is not the same as saying "please" and "thank you".

nobody is responsible for your cowardliness and your inability to handle life. I'm not responsible for anything.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 you thinking I’m a bitch isn’t a fact, it’s you thinking it’s a fact because you aren’t liking what I am saying when in reality I haven’t said anything out of hand or ridiculous to you, however you have been out of pocket several times during this discussion

[Haha456]

you sound manipulative and nasty as hell. I'm pretty sure a ton of people have problems with you in life.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 bullying people with what you think is the truth is what actually being a coward is. And I handle life just well, which is why I don’t call people out of pocket names to use leverage against them during discussions

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

because you have absolutely no proof in your accusations.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 where don’t I have proof? You called me a spineless pig and a bitch. That’s my proof. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

how is stating facts called "bullying"?

nobody is bullying you. its just that you're a coward

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 actually calling people out of pocket names is bullying. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

[ where don’t I have proof? You called me a spineless pig and a bitch. That’s my proof. ]

maybe you are a bitch and spineless pig. you accused me of being evil with absolutely no proof.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 by the way I’m not bothered with those names at all, I am just proving my point here.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

[ actually calling people out of pocket names is bullying. ]

ok so you didn't bully me? you did bully me on here. and im returning the favor

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 you are evil if you can call people you don’t know spineless pigs lol oh well accept the truth or don’t

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 if you think I’m a bully, then oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️ lmao

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

[by the way I’m not bothered with those names at all, I am just proving my point here.]

im sure everything bothers you in life. because you clearly can't take criticism on here. If you can't take criticism, its a clear sign you get hurt and bothered a lot in life

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 of course I have feelings and stuff absolutely bothers me however when stuff bothers me I choose to keep it out of my life. Evidentially the only one that can’t take criticism here is you otherwise you wouldn’t be calling people names when they don’t agree with your way of thinking

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

I have the right to call you a spineless pig because you are one. I have proof of that.

You have no right to call me evil because you have no proof of that.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 if you think you calling people names can ever be justified, that sounds like a personal problem.

[Haha456]

you sound manipulative and nasty as hell. there's nothing "nice " about you. Just a secretly nasty girl who is too cowardly to take criticism. You have no integrity

[kylee2437]

😭 I’m manipulative because I can argue my case with respect, dignity and not be bothered by your names. Okay whatever you say 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

[if you think you calling people names can ever be justified, that sounds like a personal problem.]

calling people names if is true, is not wrong.

what is wrong is wrongly accusing innocent people of things that you know that aren't true.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 you don’t sound like an innocent person to me lol and that theory has been proven over and over again with your own words.

[Haha456]

calling people names that aren't true is actually a crime. Its called "slander". People can sue you for that.
But accusing people of facts, nobody can sue you for that.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 okay then sue me for calling you evil 🤣

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

you're just a coward.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 I guess I am

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

I can tell you're nasty as hell in real life. You come on here talking about morals. I know you don't have any morals. You don't care about morals. All you care about is how innocent people should be persecuted for not giving you the right to continue being a coward.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 whatever you say lol

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

change your username to ms. coward

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

haha so you're just admitting that you were an evil bitch trying to cast innocent people as evil.

i knew it

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 yawnnn people that speak with no intellect are so boring

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 yep I’m an evil spineless pig that is bitchy and I’m proud.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

you're admitting it right now.

so clearly people who sugar coat things can't be proof that they are nice.

im sure you sugar coat things all the time, right nasty bitch?

[kylee2437]

Yep because me being a spineless bitch keeps the toxic against me, I mean look at you so against me for not agreeing with you 🤣

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

you just admitted that you are a cowardly bitch.

so how was i wrong for calling you that?

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 so because I admitted it, that means I am? Lmao girl I have body dysmorphia and can’t even tell what my body consists of, so because I can admit and accept names that means I am one? Lmao I think you need to learn how to be creative because this ability to lack creativity isn’t working out for you 🤣

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

Guilty people have an easier time admitting things than innocent people.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

I am not obligated to be creative for you. If your feelings are hurt, that is not my problem because my feelings aren't.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 🤣 guilty people call others names when they don’t get what they want.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 I never said you had to do anything for me, I am just pointing out your lack of creativity evidentially isn’t working

[kylee2437]

@PrettyPriya I think you need to remove @Haha456 account asap lol

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

I think she needs to remove your account.

quit harassing me over my lack of creativity

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 absolutely no one told you to converse with me lol oof lack of accountability is in abundance here today

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

so you're gonna harass someone for their lack of creativity?

you're such a sick person.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 actually you are harassing me for my ability to be creative lmao

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

i never harassed you for anything. nice try at manipulation.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 you mentioned my username first. I never asked to talk to you at all

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

just cuz i wrote to you first , it does not mean i harrassed you first. you harrassed me first.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 don’t play innocent victim when you had no intentions with your @ing me in the first place. You are a gaslighter

[kylee2437]

No good intention*

[bean2k21]

@kylee2437 @Haha456 The both of you need to convert to bean2k2ism, in my honest opinion. It will teach you how to be well-behaved.

[kylee2437]

@bean2k21 I’m behaved, I just like to prove why this point of view of having absolutely no filter is messy and @Haha456 proved why it is messy and unreasonable. Call me immature for arguing but 🤷🏻‍♀️

[bean2k21]

@kylee2437 I fight like this with that Fuentes guy. He doesn't believe my arguments that the South actually won the Civil War. Nevertheless, I'm here if anyone needs a Master.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@kylee2437 being honest doesn’t mean having no filter. I left a very vague response, didn’t even include my own beliefs. Maybe go back and read my original reply. And you’re not being rude? You keep trying to insult me for being 50 and on this site. There’s lots of older users on here. Tore all over the place, sorry but you’re not making much sense. You keep making crazy assumptions. But again I’m not going round and round with you. It’s pointless. You’re not hearing what anyone is saying. So again, have a good night now

[kylee2437]

@Brainsbeforebeauty what you aren’t getting is most people that describe themselves as brutally honest are mean spirited to get their point across. That was my point from the very beginning. And I do apologize for insulting you by age. It’s just truly concerning that you seem to be siding with this user above after she went out of her way to call me a bitch and all sorts of names and is trying to play victim. The fact that you called me out but didn’t tell her to knock it off is why I went the route that I did.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@kylee2437 please listen to yourself? Now it’s my fault you were being insulting. I called you out because you’re the one telling everyone else to be accountable as you’re not being accountable. Her first responded to you was not rude. She disagreed with you. You’re being mean spirited talking about other people being mean spirited. You’re assuming everyone that is honest is mean. WTF you rather someone tell you lies? You rather lie to people than tell the truth? Lying to people isn’t helping them. If you really care about people and respect people you care and respect enough to tell the truth not lies even if you try to justify it by calling em little white lies.

[kylee2437]

@brainsforbeauty I thought you were done with this convo? Lmao

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

Stating facts does not prove that someone has bad intentions. It just means the person is honest, trustworthy, straightforward and bad at lying. As a person, i have all these 3 qualities

[Haha456]

Nobody is obligated to do anything for you in the real world. Just a wake up call for you. Just in xase you didn't know. Nobody is even obligated to give you money if you're a homeless woman on the street

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 like I said you had no good intentions by @ me. You had intentions on being your definition of brutally honest, which is being hateful. You proved that point.

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

i can take honest criticsm, why can't you?

because you're nasty weak and spineless.

quit talking about morals if you're nothing more than manipulative , nasty person.
there was nothing "kind" about you on here

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 the whole reason why you are still going on and on is because you can’t take basic criticism of your own thinking lmao

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

the reason why you're still going on and on with me is becasue you can't stand truths that you don't like to hear. your solution is to attack the person stating these truths. because after all, you want to listen to lies rather than the truths.

you want me to call you smart when you're actually stupid.

sorry girl, im not dishonest like that.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 absolutely nothing you have stated is any factual info lmao you just keep going on and on about nothing, once again proving my point that people like you speak “truths” about useless info

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

just because you don't have any respect for teh truth, it doesn't mean everyone else also does not respect teh truth. there are people who actually have integrity and can handle truths.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 just because you repeat yourself over and over doesn’t mean you are speaking the truth lol

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

just because you deny things over and over again, it doesn't mean you are right.

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 there’s nothing to deny lol you have literally brought no subject or the table and keep trying to argue literally nothing lol

[kylee2437]

To the table*

[Haha456]

@kylee2437

haha nothing to argue? so why are you still responding?

[kylee2437]

@Haha456 ask yourself that question also 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Moose304]

In most respects, this is about the communication process. The other day I was speaking to a customer support person who honestly pissed me off. I asked for a supervisor and finally told the guy to "shut up" and get a supervisor OR I was hanging up and getting one another way. I did finally speak to a supervisor and we solved my problem. I did ask this person if they will review the recording of the conversation and they said yes they would as a teaching tool. I told the supervisor to point out to the young man that what you say and how another person receives said words can and often do differ. Many times during my career I would listen to my employees speaking to customers on the phone. Many times I found myself having to coach them on avoiding passive-aggressive language. Before Covid, I was approached by the at the time soon-to-be ex-wife of a good friend who asked me if I would speak to her. I looked at her and in a firm but quiet voice NO! I would not! I told her I had no intention to speak to her or invite her to sit. Further, if she bothered me again I would get a legal protective order. That is an example of me being brutally honest. Humans in general have issues understanding passive-aggressive language. This BS can wreak havoc on the communication process. On a personal note, I DO NOT tell people lies. If you ask my opinion on something I will give you an honest answer. YES, I am that horse's ass that will tell you that tie looks horrible or your butt looks large in that dress.

[Chazmatazz269]

I’ve never experienced the former. As far as the latter goes, being honest, clear and concise is the most effective way to communicate every time and always. It only feels “blunt” if you’re overly sensitive. I despise deception in all of its forms save “illusions” and jokes. Snowflakes are hypocrites because they insist that you dance around their feelings and then whine that you’re not being honest with them. Thicken your skin and learn to accept the truth even when it sucks. Then nobody ever has to lie ever again. How wonderful would that be?

[jongreat46]

I disagree, what you call deception is what I call tact and diplomacy.

[Chazmatazz269]

Hahahaha! Tact and diplomacy are not part of an equal relationship. They only exist when there is a power imbalance. You have self esteem issues if you’re letting your equals hurt your feelings with words.

[jongreat46]

I bet you think there is nothing wrong with you and think that your bluntness is honesty and everyone else needs to change for you right?

[Chazmatazz269]

There is nothing wrong with honesty, or my commitment to it. Obviously you’re free to disagree, but you’re just a hypocrite the next time you cry about being lied to.
I do not expect anyone to change for me. I do not accept deception in my life either. You don’t have to change unless you have a problem with honesty and want to be part of my life. I can do without anyone who can’t or won’t match my commitment to honesty, easy. If you knew what was good for you, you’d feel the same. Lies are lies.

[VanillaSalt]

Thanks for this Chaz it’s been insightful and has me thinking new thoughts.

[Chazmatazz269]

I hope that’s true, but if it’s sarcasm i understand that too. Ell oh ell!

[kylee2437]

Calling people snowflakes because they have feelings is you being too lazy to think about what you say before you say it.

[VanillaSalt]

Meanwhile I argue the fact they take offense is their problem not mine. Furthermore who are they to me that I have to put effort into not offending them?

[Chazmatazz269]

Everyone has feelings. Using yours as a manipulation tool for social leverage instead of being honest and actually caring about others instead of just yourself is nothing less than a mark of the dark triad. I don’t owe you anything if i didn’t agree to such. If you expect more than i agreed to, you can go away. I won’t miss your lying, whining, manipulative ass one stitch.

[kylee2437]

@VanillaSalt if you think communicating doesn’t take effort, you are the issue.

[VanillaSalt]

Rich coming from a woman that likely says fine when asked what’s wrong…

[kylee2437]

@VanillaSalt nope I just ended a talking stage with a man yesterday because I voiced three times that I didn’t like how he was treating me. I don’t sugar coat how I’m feeling to sustain contact with people.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of blunt people aren't used to people being blunt with them.

I know I have this problem where I can be pretty straightforward and I think it scares people a lot of the time from being honest with me.

I'm so not used to being criticized that when it happens, I kinda half explode for a second, but because I actually want people to be brutally honest with me so I can grow as a person, I quickly get control of myself and thank the person for their perspective.

But doing that means you gotta have a certain control over yourself. Most people aren't willing to implement that kind of discipline into their life.

Especially people like that because most people who are blunt are coming from a place of pessimism and laziness and not from genuine empathy or a desire to help.

[CubsterShura]

Because they care more about being brutal than being honest and expect that they would get rewarded.

I am a pretty blunt and brutally honest person, even then I rarely insult people or say negative things. Just the other day I was out shopping with some friends, one guy tried a jacket on and it looked REALLY good on him, we all agreed he should get it. Another guy tried the same jacket and I told him exactly what was on my mind, "It looked better on him than you". Later on, further clarified it just means we need to find something else for him. I think many people would straight up say something meaner in this situation, everyone thought I was indeed being brutally honest and said what everyone was already thinking, but no one took an offense.

[Pohjolan]

Because a person who is genuinely brutally honest doesn't mean anything bad buy it.

Well except if they hate someone and want to see them dead and are perfectly honest about it.

They see being tactful as stupid and wasting time and to be honest Americans are unnecessarily tactful.

[loveslongnails]

There's nothing wrong with being tactful and even the bluntest or non-filtered person should learn how to do it. People who pride themselves on being "brutally honest" often don't understand that there's only a certain amount of "truth" each person can handle. When you give someone more than that, they're going to be defensive and shut you off, thereby defeating your supposed purpose.

[FilmGuy93]

Many times people like that think they are saying things that need to be said. It’s sort of like they are giving tough love, and then the person rejects them for it, so they feel slighted for doing something they thought was productive.

[Samscott456]

I value honesty with respect. If you putting people down cause that’s how you think you need to first work on yourself and second your a bully.

[Jccowen77]

People that brag about having this " brutal" honesty are the most dishonest of them of all and least likely to tell you what they really think. People that are upfront don't have to broadcast it, they juat are and people see it. It's like saying you have a big cock. If you have to say it, it probably isn't true.

[Msputiton]

They think it makes them look cool, or tough

[VanillaSalt]

Is there really a nice way to say you fat? Blunt people don’t dance around your feelings on a subject. Tact might be a good option but it’s just sugarcoating a harsh truth.

[jongreat46]

again wrong, blunt people are the I want to say whatever I want with no consequences category.

[VanillaSalt]

Again your wrong bitch. I have no issue talking my shit and if your offended move on… idc about the consequences of what I just said. I won’t dance around your stupid baby feelings because your easily offended.

[kylee2437]

@VanillaSalt actually there’s plenty of ways to introduce to people that they have the ability to take better care of themselves. Calling someone fat and not putting thought into what you are saying to someone is the lazy /easy way of things. You aren’t helping someone by calling them fat.

[Samscott456]

What’s with the vulgarity lol. Also in your fat example there’s are many ways to be honest but not use offensive name calling and body shaming. Such as sharing weight loss ideas and motivating them. If they choose not to do anything about it that’s on them. Just calling people fat and other offensive terms is bullying and does not help them at all. But of course you’ll label it as brutally honest rather than work on your own self lol

[VanillaSalt]

@kylee2437 it’s not my responsibility to keep everyone happy. I’m not just walking up to a fat chick and calling them fat… I told my ex your fat, you need to go to the gym, let’s go together, let’s eat healthier… she refused now she’s my ex. Don’t ask “do these pants make my butt look big” if your not prepared for a yes.

@sanscott456 this cunt came to my answer and not only told me I’m wrong but insisted he was right without giving examples as to why… fuck him. Also I’m going back to the “idc if I offend people” stance I’ve had for body shaming. The truth is the truth and I’m not censoring what I say because it hurts their feelings. In order to share ideas we must be prepared to be offended. I don’t see the problem. Unlike every other person that tells you lies or half truths, that treats you like a child unable to control their emotions, that leaves you wondering where you stand… I tell you to your face very clearly. There’s a lot of people that appreciate that. You’d obviously rather be lied to. Yes I love you. No honey your not fat your beautiful. Na man watching porn at works not creepy at all. I’m FINE!

And women think WE have trouble communicating.

[kylee2437]

@VanillaSalt your ex deserves someone better anyways since you think being insensitive about your words is a responsible way of communication. Communication takes effort and if you think you’re the one that got away from that situation, you need serious therapy since you don’t know how to communicate your thoughts without hurting people. Her gaining weight may just have to do with how you treated her

[Samscott456]

@kylee2437 yeah this dude has some serious issues. Basically cause you don’t agree with him he’s calling you a “bitch” and “cunt”. What a psycho. Anyway he doesn’t know how to properly speak to random people on the internet let alone a significant other. Unfortunately people like him that don’t see their problem won’t get help lol.

@VanillaSalt And yes calling your ex fat directly makes you an ass sorry. It’s not blunt it’s rude. It’s fine to have a convo and say I think we should work on our health and go to the gym together or even say I wish you were the weight when we met. But putting your partner down with body shaming obviously didn’t work and will never work. Also you clearly didn’t love her anyway she dodged a bullet. My God in the future how would you treat a women whose trying to get rid of pregnancy weight after having your child? Get help and learn how to talk to people✌️

[kylee2437]

@samscott456 people don’t know how to take accountability for their own actions and then wonder why they are single and miserable.

[VanillaSalt]

@samscott456 are you slow? I didn’t call her either of them things. You need to work on your comprehension skills.

Furthermore it’s none of your business how I interacted with my ex but my ex was always fat. Not slightly either. She stopped putting forth any effort at all. I ended it cause I’m not dealing with her health problems later because she decided gaining weight was a good choice.

Some of y’all are fucking dumb. You blame your weight on feelings and stress when you refuse to be active and eat fast food every meal.

Accountability… lol that’s funny. It’s men that are the problem because you chose 3 cheaters in a row. You need abortion because it’s your right nvm the option of celibacy. Body shaming… if you didn’t weigh double what you should you wouldn’t be shamed for it. Women are the last who have the right to talk about accountability.

[Haha456]

@VanillaSalt

As a nurse, I can tell you that people can become overweight for many different reasons. Its not as simple black or white as eating too much. There are a lot of people who don't eat much and yet are overweight.

[Samscott456]

@VanillaSalt 😂😂you legit wrote the words “I told my ex your fat…” Also if you were referring to the cunt and bitch comments that you were called random people on here.. I wasn’t referring to you saying that to your ex I was referring you to saying that to random people disagreeing with you. Which yes is psychotic. No need to gaslight when it is written.

If you got into a relationship with someone you saw as fat or not attractive to you that’s due to your own insecurity issues. I am thankful that woman doesn’t have to deal with you anymore and hope she finds someone who will value everything about her. You sound abusive af and yes that can affect someone emotionally, mentally and physically, such as weight gain. Do yourself a favor and research that a bit lol.

Unfortunately also there is skinny shaming too it’s not just fat shaming. There are men that like all different body types. How about you actually find someone your attracted to rather than get into relationships with women you feel the need to body shame and bully.

[kylee2437]

@VanillaSalt I am in the dietetics and nutrition industry and weight gain/loss is not a black and white situation. The fact that you think a topic like this is, shows how uneducated you are and how you are at fault for your falling outs with most people in your life. You take no accountability to how you speak to others.

[VanillaSalt]

@Haha456 yes I’m aware. In her case she was already heavy, she stopped going to the gym at all, she got a job sitting in a truck all week, and she eats fast food daily. These didn’t help her.

Besides that at the end of the relationship she was breaking 380 after I tried to support her through it. It’s not anybody business how I handled it but I figured Ide tell you since you were nice about it. I didn’t want to take on her health issues if she wasn’t going to at least try and prevent them.

[VanillaSalt]

@ kylee2437 like I said if they don’t like it they can go away. Like I said when she stopped trying after I told her she was fat I let her go… I’m prepared for the consequences if someone wants to fight me over my mouth step up and I’ll win or lose but I won’t change how I speak for anyone.

As a person involved in dietetics I’m concerned how you don’t see daily fast food, refusal to hit the gym, and laziness as a major cause of being FAT.

I’m not interested in this topic anymore. Your just gonna turn the subject and argue half truths. Went from talking about speaking to someone respectfully to disrespecting them in a few posts. Hypocrites. Idiots. Waste of words.

[Haha456]

@VanillaSalt

her being 380 pounds does not give you the right to be disrespectful.

you weren't being blunt, you were just intentionally being rude.

i find it hard to believe how anyone would see you as a decent quality mate.

[kylee2437]

@VanillaSalt it’s not anyones business how you handled it however you just made public how you handled it and can’t take the criticism that comes with making your own business public

[kylee2437]

@VanillaSalt putting words in my moth to support your theory is ridiculous. I said health is not a black and white subject, but it’s great you got away from her so she can focus on her mental health and keep toxic people out of her life so she can better herself. You leaving her probably saved her life and then some.

[kylee2437]

Mouth*

[bamesjond0069]

Why do I care if a snowflake rejects me? It's a bug, it's a feature. I don't want to be friends or social with snowflakes. So good way to weed them out quick.

[kylee2437]

@bamesjond0069 a snowflake is a person that can’t hold accountability towards themselves when they have purposely hurt others with unnecessary and thoughtless words

[bamesjond0069]

@kylee2437 well trolls live under bridges but have been known to occasionally log online and post to internet forums. 🙃

[kylee2437]

@bamesjons0069 can’t tell if you are calling me a troll but calling people snowflakes to justify your lack of thinking when communicating isn’t it lol

[Akam93]

I would say people dont like hearing things that aren't so great.

[jongreat46]

I agree to a point, but criticism doesn't have to be so blunt and as the so called brutally honest people say, it doesn't have to be brutal.

[AngryCarl]

Tact is just another word for dishonesty. Maybe you should reject me if you can't handle honesty.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Very blunt people aren't interested in being honest but rather just hateful.

You can speak the truth without being hateful.

[Literalbillionaire17]

“Brutally honest” people are usually sensitive lowkey

[jongreat46]

I agree and they complain everyone else is so sensitive.

[Manuel2]

If a person does like blunt talk then do not bother talkiing to them

[AdithyaR]

People who say brutal honest are often just looking for ways to be mean. They get upset that they are facing consequences when others don't take their advice or get angry.