My sister may be dating her ex's best friend, am I wrong to be concerned?

[crylikeag6]

Please give me advice esp if you've been in a similar situation!! My little sister broke up with her ex boyfriend broke up about a month ago after 7 months. she was super in love and vice versa. After the breakup he told his friends not to talk to my sister. But his BEST FRIEND, let's call him Mike, he reached out to my sister because her ex (his friend) was ranting about her and he felt she needed to know. But lately I've been hearing her and "Mike" facetiming until 2AM. My sister's ex boyfriend got really mad at Mike for still texting a my sister so their friendship is breaking. Mike complains about my sister's ex to my sister a lot like "I've been friends with this guy since middle school and he still can't trust me." What changed everything was on accident I found my sister texting Mike "I love you" and him saying it back. I don't know what their relationship is but he texted her to keep what they have a secret, especially from the ex boyfriend. it's sus how he paints himself as a nice guy while talking bad about his own best friend? I just think it's wrong to date your ex's best friend/to go for your best friend's ex because it can get so messy. I'm gonna talk to her however she is pretty sensitive. I think she wants to be petty to her ex, and likes the attention from mike rn. How can I talk to her about this without her retaliating? In her texts she jokes about getting with an ex's best friend, so I don't think she realizes how wrong it is (especially with the secrecy). also she's a junior in HS. Her excuse will be its cause her ex wronged her (talking other girls after) so it shouldn't matter who she dates and its true but I know she's better than that and can be the bigger person and still respect her ex. Her ex is also still into with her and i'm afraid it will all go wrong. Sorry i wrote so much I don't know where to ask and as her older sister I just want her to be away from unecessary drama/getting herself hurt.

[SnowedIn]

This is a great question and you are so thoughtful to be concerned about your little sister. You ask two questions here. The first is whether you're wrong to be concerned. No, you're not. You're a big sister -- concern comes built in. The second question is how you talk to her. My answer is either don't or do it just in the vaguest of terms. Couch it in terms of "I'm worried about you with this guy" assuming she knows you know who she's involved with. Otherwise say nothing. It's NOT worth it to ruin your relationship with your sister because, we must be honest, she's not going to change. Just say something like, "I'm worried about you and care about you." Finish the sentence there.

[Hulk_kitty]

Stop mummy cuddling her, let her live her life, and let her learn from her mistakes. Its part of growing up. She is never going to learn anything about people, if you keep stopping trying relationships out.

I mean if you she is in real danger, then that's a different story, I would tell your parents. But if she is not in any real danger, but maybe she might get hurt emotionally from it, let her deal with it. You can't keep protecting her from heart break. that's just life.

[Guy13]

She's an adult... I would stay out of her Business.

[tenor55]

There is a “circle of concern” and a “circle of influence.” We get into trouble when we confuse those. You can tell her your concern, but you can’t live her life. You have no influence over her life choice.

[Twalli]

To break up with a guy to get with his friend is wrong. However, dating your ex's best friend isn't wrong. Chances are that Mike found her attractive when she was dating his friend and after they broke up, he decided to shoot his shot.

[Charlesbrandonf]

No I think your sister is well aware of what she is doing.

[Anonymous]

It's none of your business. Let it go.

[In_Trance]

I don't know why you would be

[Anonymous]

Na, her life, her choices.