When someone cheats and they say it meant nothing do you believe them?

Question

Messianic_Monk · Accepted Answer

obviously it meant something. if it really means nothing then they wouldn't have sought that out. do you go after mindless things? typically no.

Now whether or not it was to replace you, stroke their ego or something else is to be figured out. Then after that, it's whether or not you can accept that.

I think for me, the thing that is more easy for me to forgive is if she suffers from hyper-sexuality and acted out. Not an excuse, obviously. She needs to be held accountable, but I'm more understanding of that. Typically people who have this also suffer from depression or some other condition which they do not know how to cope with. They need to learn to cope in other ways than sex (as I have had to learn). I think that is as close as you can get to it "feeling like nothing". There was obviously still arousal, but typically there was little bonding or emotional attachment because this sort of outlet completely depersonalizes the act and reduces it down to a need for a dopamine high.

I'd have to know what she did and figure out if I can move past that. Generally, I want to be a forgiving and supportive person. But if it happens again, I am likely to move on.

WTFdivorce · Accepted Answer

Just because it meant nothing to the person cheating doesn't mean it means nothing to the person who was cheated on.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This is a question for 5 year olds.. I don't get how such generic posts are promoted by the site as Great...

Cheating shows a tremendous lack of respect for the person you're cheating on and the relationship you have with them. It may have meant nothing to the adulterer, but it surely means something to their spouse.

Saying that is simply a piss poor attempt in minimising their culpability in the sordid event/s they chose to partake in.

Designed to dupe their partner into thinking they couldn't love anyone but them.

In an effort to trick that same partner into thinking they've got no competition and therefore carry on as normal.

Also seriously trying to minimise the length of time they'll be in the hot seat too.

The entire act and everything out a this type of cheater's mouth is bullshit and totally self serving.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

No I would believe I mean nothing to them because if I did they wouldn’t have cheated🤷‍♀️

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Sure, I'd believe him that it meant nothing, because if it did mean something, they he likely would of left me to start a relationship with that other person.

It probably was just meaningless sex, that meant nothing... still doesn't mean I'm going stay with him. As his word and trust now means nothing to me.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Ot doesn't matter, they still acted on their impulses/lust and decided to cheat. May not mean anything to them, but the hurt and betrayal will still matter to their spouse.

TrueConfection · Answer

Of course I would believe the cheater. If the side person meant anything, the cheater would have had enough respect for the side person to not make them their side piece in the first place.

Also, I'd take the cheater at their word for being a selfish, uncaring, heartless, pos and I'd know I also meant nothing.

SnowedIn · Answer

I guess that you could make a fine distinction of the cheater "just" had sex so it was a physical pleasure and therefore "nothing" in terms of relationship. But the cheater claiming it was nothing distracts from the real crux of the issue (and the dick move): it was cheating.

Mangospacho · Answer

It just means they don’t feel like talking about the cheating they did and they want things to go back to the way they were like nothing happened. Ironically, it makes it even worse for the relationship because it means everything to the person who was cheated on and nothing to the person who chose to cheat.

DollAlone · Answer

It meant enough to obviously get hard and go inside someone else and then lie about it or sneak around doing it behind your partners back so id say with all that shady bullshit and effort it meant SOMETHING

JDAC092299 · Answer

It’s funny because I think the general consensus is that after a lie or a secret like that has been brought to light the people who hid/created that lie or secret loses all credibility, So it wouldn’t have to necessarily even been a cheater, Once trust is broken love usually follows. It’s very hard to rectify that so most people choose to just move on. I think there are very few circumstances that merit a second chance when trust is broken like that though.

12Volt · Answer

90% of humans are stupid. They believe that flying in private jets is OK if you're flying to a climate change summit.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

I’m usually the cheater and let me tell you the answer to this question is yes and no

it did mean something a couple of things actually haha

but no it didn’t because I just wanted to bang cheaters usually don’t even really like the other person

Igotheres · Answer

There is not such thing as cheating. Relationships or dating I wish people stop thinking that there is a such thing as cheating. Relationships and dating and the only way you can cheat is on your school work or on tests you take in school.

FreyaRed · Answer

No. In a relationship I had opportunity to cheat every day or even more. Why I didn't? because I would lose respect for my partner and my perception of intimacy with my partner would turn from something special just into a service.

Nomina · Answer

Lol, I wouldn't give a shit if it meant nothint to them. It means something to me that they cheated. This is one of those situations where their feelings about it are irrelevant.

bayoubob · Answer

What is stupid is the term "home wrecker" exists. People blame the wrong people. These wrong people are stringed along in thinking that a break up or Divorce will happen. Put the blame where blame is due. To the actual cheater.

Poliker · Answer

Yeah, I do believe them when they say that our relationship meant nothing because if it meant something, they wouldn't have done what they did.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I may believe them. But that's not the point. Them cheating meant something TO ME. And THAT is all I will consider in that situation. Cheat and you're done.

AdithyaR · Answer

Honestly that's worse, I don't understand why they'd think that makes it any better.
Cause them saying it meant nothing means that my partner decided to cheat and betray me for a meaningless fling. That's even more disrespectful.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

Sure, I'd believe  I  meant nothing. If he really cared for me as much as he's trying to sell, that wouldn't happen.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Of course not. That’s just something people who don’t care about anyone but themselves say to justify their selfish choices.

NathanDavis · Answer

almost as bad as "I didn't even enjoy it" lol

cryscrys1 · Answer

If it meant nothing than you go ahead and cheat so that’s equal of meant nothing

Gent207-2 · Answer

No it always meant something to them especially given what follows

ShadezMcgee · Answer

No. It obviously meant something because they took the opportunity to step out and cheat

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

No. It meant something, it means they aren't fulfilled in the relationship and it needs to end

Ninania · Answer

Yes, though that'd mean they may feel the same way about their spouse too.

mobiusforniner · Answer

No. Having emotionally cheated, it hurt bad. So she definitely was more than nothing...

Passing_by · Answer

Nope, cheating itself is a betrayal of trust and so will be the explanations they will be giving me later. Wouldn't need to believe them if I'm leaving them anyway *shrugs*

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Nope, I would never believe her.

mrpaythebills · Answer

It is very probable that the woman meant nothing to him as us men can have sex and feel nothing. it is kind of a sport to us. If he stayed with you it was because she didn't matter to him and you matter more. Sex is different for men than it is women.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It may have meant nothing to THEM, but that's irrelevant. The point is it meant something to the person they cheated ON.

Subarugirl · Answer

Well, it obviously meant enough for them to lie and cheat... so no.

TX2346 · Answer

Sometimes people can't be honest with themselves. Making it almost impossible to be honest with their partner. It's easier to creep in the dark than to stand tall in the light and fix what is broken. Cheaters are the most selfish people on earth. It shows low moral character and lack of true love.

sage2021 · Answer

If it meant not hing to them, then why did he have sex with someone else and not with you? He is a low down filthy skank and a liar as well. He needs to go! Guys like him are a dime a dozen.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

Sure, I believe them. It doesn't stop me from dumping their sorry, cheating ass, though.

KatieSims24 · Answer

It deponds but I wouldn't want try again with cheater. Too much worried and anixety to deal with.

Teriyaki70 · Answer

It wouldn't matter, cheating is a big fat nono

Anonymous · Answer

No second chance. Done ang gone. If you let them get by with once, they will do it again. Never date a cheater.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Sex can be just sex. People have this illusion that ALL sex has to mean something.

RebeccaDmngz · Answer

Absolutely not. That is even more disrespectful I think

Anonymous · Answer

It really doesn't matter because that's not the issue. The issue is she's selfish. Because people who think more about themselves cheat. And I'm not going to stay with someone who holds me in so little regard.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Maybe, but if it happens to me the relationship is still over.

Jennz6 · Answer

If a man cheated on me, I would leave him

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Sure but now he means nothing so meh.

Luopio27 · Answer

Their values to commitment means nothing.

legalboxers · Answer

everyone cheats. Read that again!

LovingJo · Answer

Depends on their reason for doing it

Supernatural_girl · Answer

No, I would totally not believe them.

Anonymous · Answer

Its 2022 its ok to cheat

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Still won't change anything...

SpokenTruth · Answer

And that is when I said goodbye.

msc545 · Answer

Of course I don't believe them.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not an idiot.

When someone cheats and they say it meant nothing do you believe them?

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