Are some of us just unlucky in love? (Page 2)
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I find most of that "unlucky" is lack of skills in dating, relationships, communication, and flawed beliefs. Maybe they are too nice, have false ideas, and flawed concepts and self image issues. When dark clouds hover over you, take a look at yourself.
I've seen peoples luck change after many years, often in upper 30's plus, so time to stop complaining and do some work.
I had the bad luck of landing a future faker twice already.
stop picking fakers...
If you are fishing in a pond catching "bass" and you want a "marlin". Don't blame the fish...
that's the value. Anything else is a waste of energy.
nothing unlucky if you will end up eith a pig so consider yourself lucky
i think the unluckiest person is me but it's ok i think God knows that i really don't wanna end up with a pig so...
He can go fuck himself i mean with the bitch he wanted while me i will still be lookinh for the right man for me
i've sacrificed so much in the name of love there's no way i would end up with someone i don't feel secure
I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully you find a good man, I hope so. I'm 35 and I think I'll just stick to doing an IVF first (so that way it would remove the biological clock ticking pressure on me) and then search for a man into marriage.
If you like someone enough, why don't you propose to them? Or at least offer/mention that you would be okay with a prenuptial agreement.
If you have never had casual sex, that is something positive that you should definitely mention on a date or on a dating profile because that is rare for someone your age and should help you get someone.
No, I find it sweet when a man proposes. I want it to naturally come from him without me nagging him. Me and most women already want marriage so why propose on something we want?
I don't believe some are unlucky in love, I believe in faith. I remember reading the news and a 60 year old woman got married for the first time. "The one" will find you. God knows what we all truly want, he truly knows that you want to find a guy, pray and he will send you the guy you are looking for.
It's great that woman found love finally. Hopefully that day comes for me. If I ever get a marriage proposal, I would be posting it here and crying tears of joy. I might even get drunk that day to celebrate it with my family.
Whenever I have a problem, I always ask myself the same question:
What's the single thing that I'm doing that is blocking my success on this the most?
Probably the answer in your situation is that you aren't really giving the chance for any guy to meet you.
I think I found the answer; stop attracting and staying with broke man, giving money to men and stop cooking (providing free services) for them if they're not going to put a ring to me.
I was being too sweet. Sadly some people take advantage of that, take and take and give nothing in return.
It sounds like my own experience.
I would say one shall provide to who is worth it, and reciprocates.
I don't think I used to be until my last long relationship with a narcissist. I never had trouble talking to women and even now I've had a few relationships since but nothing that turned into something long term. Now I feel unlucky or cursed by an evil narcissistic witch.
Wow we have one thing in common. My first ex boyfriend (the one that took my virginity and fake a future with me for years) was indeed an evil narcissist. I hate narcissists. They are toxic waste of oxygen. Then my 2nd boyfriend, even though he's not a narcissist he ended up still lying about future dates for a proposal (he gave me false dates), that's still lying and faking a future.
The issue is I'm 35 by now. It sucks that future fakers are on the rise.
Yes it does seem like there are more people like this in the world today, it's hard trying to meet people when you have to have your guard up and still be able to get close enough to actually form a strong meaningful bond. Everyone seems to be so selfish and only worried about themselves and I could never be like that.
True and I actually came with a different plan now. I'm going to just focus on having a kid for now; through either artifical insemination, IVF or adoption as last option.
Once I get that issue taken care of, I'll proceed with my next goal which is finding love, finding a marriage-minded man without the pressure of any biological clock.
It's good to have a plan but just know things don't always go to plan. Sadly having a kid first may limit your chances of finding a partner. There's so much out there telling men not to date single mothers and unfortunately a lot of guys are taking this advice. You never know, things may change when you least expect it hopefully in your favor. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find what you're looking for.
Thanks. Yes I know it does limit the dating pool of available marriage-minded men once we have a kid. However, it doesn't completely kill the dating pool.
If I had done the other option of going through the dating process again at my age and finally got my proposal after 2-4 years, I've likely killed my chance of getting pregnant easier or probably can't have kids. I wouldn't have just lower my timeframe for kids but kill it. A lower chance (man accepting a single mother) is still a chance but no chance (I can't have kids anymore) is worse.
Yes. I mean, I'm only 25, but still. I haven't really found anyone yet. Then, I see other people with so many girlfriends and boyfriends it baffels me. They seem to be lucky in love, popular with the opposite sex, but I on the other hand... However, God has a plan for everyone and we just have to trust in it.
You're much younger and still have time. I'm 35 by now.
And or whichever Other Deity we believe in :)
*we, as in general.
It takes a lover boy…. Might not be a knight in shining armour but as long as he has his trusty stead I guess there’s potential for him 2 go places…….
I was a lover boy and I’ve been whipped around by the bitches lmao.
I had good family what can I say having a wife made sense to me. I could reciprocate and if we had a kid or however many they’d have good structure hopefully. But honestly I just wanted to play nerf guns and swords & bully mom for a bit…
Hopefully I find him.
From what I've seen it's rarely bad luck and almost always bad habits. And it may just a one little bad habit of not being approachable or available enough. But that one thing can make a huge difference.
I think I just found my flaw; being too nice and overdoing it with the cooking for bfs, helping men with money... giving and giving and getting little to nothing in return.
That would definitely be it. Moochers have a special sense for finding people who will enable them.
True. No more Ms Doormat anymore. From now one, a man gets what he gives. If he gives little to nothing, then he'll get the same from me.
I’m 34yo and haven’t even gotten my first kiss. I got a few casual dates with a perfect girl, but she passed away before anything romantic happened. 10 years later I’m looking for someone new and still missing her. Meanwhile my older sister has already been married to a wonderful guy.
We don’t all get there at the same age.
Omg I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm still childless and unmarried at age 35. Hopefully this upcoming year is better for us.
This upcoming year I should finally get a drivers license and be able to properly look for girls. Epilepsy has kept me stuck at home with my parents most of the time.
I hope we both find someone great.
I actually have a better solution for myself. There is no time for another dating process again. I'm going to a sperm donor clinic and getting pregnant ASAP this upcoming year; either through artifical insemination or IVF. In case I'm infertile for age or other reasons, I'll be adopting then. I have money and support from my family.
Once I've taken care of that issue... I'll be on my search for marriage-minded men out there. If I need to go to church to find him then I will, provided that he respects me for being an atheist and doesn't force his beliefs on me. By then there will be no urge for me to pressure a man to propose at a quicker pace and instead it'll be coming out from him naturally.
You check check the ugliness scale in how do I looks sections and I think it is just true.
I have also been like that. I got unlucky when it was about marriage. I dearly wish I find someone just like you. I would really take care of her. Make her happy, wait to have kids if she wants.
Hey don't cry please. I think you must be a God fearing and loving woman. It's your test too. If you want we can talk. My DM is open
Thank you.
Hey, please I can understand it hurts you so much but please don't feel envy of these other girls you see. I think you are someone fit to be a wife 🙈. See you should not feel unhappy. I am virgin my entire life too. I don't want to say this I looked for one my entire life. You are not someone less but someone more beautiful by the fact you didn't let lust get control of you)).
If it is alright can I talk to you in private. Somehow I feel connected to you.
Ok thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'll DM in a bit.
Alright 👍, but please don't be upset. Just saw you wrote you are crying about it. Don't feel this way please stranger
Well I've had 3 girlfreinds in my life 1 killed my dog iut of jealousy of the dog. 1 stole my car although I did manage to get that one back, she faced no charges due to a sympathetic judge. And my last girlfriend just decided to grab one of my hunting knives and plunge it 6 inches into my abdomen for the high crime of "working to much". She only got community service for at least I consider attempted murder.
So yeah unlucky nah more like cursed in my case.
yeah that's so unlucky too. I think I'm cursed as well too.
1st boyfriend turned out to be an evil narcissist that fakes future, lied about wanting kids and marriage and took money from me (he never paid me back), wasting my time and years with his ''my beautiful wife or the love of my life'' lovebombing speeches.
Then my 2nd boyfriend whom I just broke up yesterday turned out to be a liar that doesn't keep his promise. He made me write on my cell the engagement date and wedding... but it was all just talk and lie.
the weird part is I didn't even had sex with my 2nd boyfriend... so he ended up lying about marriage plans but not getting sex.
Yeah that's why I left the dating market about 10 years ago. Most humans are just self serving narcissistic shit bags these days. That and no vagina on earth is worth 6 inches of cold steel in your gut.
I actually came with another plan. I'll be going to my first appointment at a fertility clinic today at night. My focus right now is to have a child myself (if no boyfriend will give me a child, at least the generous sperm donors are doing that for us single women) through a sperm donor and if I'm really infertile then I'll adopt a kid. Once I'm done and over with that issue, I'm heading into the dating world again and find a marriage-minded man without any biological clock ticking, but just looking to get married for love. I'm not taking no for an answer.
This might sound strange but I still haven't given up on my dream of finding a man that'll one day propose. I still believe I'll one day get to celebrate that moment with my family (regardless of how old I am, even it takes another failed attempt, eventually there has to be the victory) and get drunk out of happiness.
I would say yes because it takes some luck to meet the right person at the right time and place. There are factors you can´t control like a good connection at the beginning and similar interests.
I can´t say why that happens though.
I guess it's just fate. I still believe my moment has to come no matter no long it takes, no matter how old I am when I finally get him.
For the meantime I'll just solve my issue about having a child. I've decided to do it through a sperm donor. The dating process will take too long and I don't like being the woman that pressures man into marriage; that's like begging for love.
Then once I get that done with, I'm searching for the man that'll make me his wife. He has to be out there somewhere.
I'm not married either... but I've never lacked love
I just have not planned to marry before... and marital status does not define me either
life is much more than just that, so is love... lol
I hope to get it one day. If I ever get proposed, I'll celebrate it with my family and get drunk out of happiness.
I don't have good luck in anything especially with this subject. I've never known or felt "love" and maybe it's just the wrong type of luck or maybe it doesn't exist for everyone and I just happen to have bad enough luck to be one of those people.
I think we all have gone through some failures, to get to your successes, but I don't think that anyone is "destined" to be single
True and I still have optimism that I'll get my proposal one day. For the meantime at my age (I'm 35), I'm putting finding a man on hold. I'm focusing on having my own child through artificial insemination as the doctor recommended. My count is still good but if I wait another year, it'll drop more. Once I get this done and over with... then I'll search for a marriage-minded man and take my time without the biological clock issue; instead it'll just be marriage for love.
Give us some details - Where country are you living in right now? What work do you do? Do you have family members you can lean on?
I'm living in Peru and it's common for some people to live with their parents as adults. I work as a translator. Yes I still live with my parents and on Christmas, I'll be visiting my grandma.
What are you looking for in a guy?
For him to be family oriented, want kids and be financially stable
That's it?
yeah, I don't ask for much
What do you mean by "financially stable"?
Both of my 1st ex boyfriend and 2nd boyfriend were broke men and future fakers. I didn't realize that being a broke man is bad and it means he wouldn't be capable of providing for our future kids. I have no issues helping with money too (I work too) but the guy would have to be stable himself.
How old do you want him to be?
Do you have any requirements on how he should look?
I'm 35 years old so he can be between 35-45. As for requirements in looks, I'm hoping he has good hygienes (ex: not like my 2nd ex boyfriend that had yellow, rotten teeth on top or very old clothes, disorganized), average-tall in height, average weight and overall a good presentation since that would mean he isn't another broke man.
You sound very reasonable. It's shocking you haven't been snapped up by a man! I wish you the best. Perhaps you should check out your local church for potential suitors.
Ok I will. Thanks
On the plus side, maybe we are lucky in other areas of life.
And @Asker, always seek professional support or professional counselling if you need it. ❤️🩹🥳
I couldn't attach smiley emojis or caring emojis, but best to seek professional support 🙂
yes I'm going to visit my psychologist soon. She told me to come back by the end if Dec or start of New Year.
Is your ideal guy mold not fitting the guys you date so they never get to that point or is something else not allowing the relationship to move forward?
I had two relationships and both were future fakers.
Yes, not everyone finds their love of their life.
True and I have a better plan. I've already went to a fertility clinic yesterday. I'm having a child on my own through artificial insemination, now that's my love of my my life... nothing better than your own kid.