Are some of us just unlucky in love? (Page 2)

[brezzybaby]

I mean I guess so depending on the type of person you are. That's really what it boils down to.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's not you, honey. It's HIM. You've just been with shitty guys.

[Asker]

two shitty guys in a row.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm sorry. :/

[Asker]

My father said the third one is the charm. I hope he's right about it.

[Jamie05rhs]

I hope so as well.

[blondfrog]

Hell to the fucking no. I probably have to be the unluckiest when it comes to that shit/

[Asker]

Hopefully this upcoming year brings good surprises

[blondfrog]

I doubt it I'd it hasn't happened by now it will never happen.

[Asker]

So I guess I'll be the woman that can't get a man to natural propose, that keeps attracting bfs just wanting gfs but not husbands.

[Paul09]

Life isn't all about marriages. More about enjoying yourself.

[Asker]

I know but that has always been my childhood wish; it's something unique and personal for me.

[Paul09]

Most girls are brainwashed into dreaming of weddings lol.

[Asker]

It's about having a life partner, exchange those vows (not for a religious purpose though but for commitment) and being with my partner I can legitimately call my husband and not boyfriend.

[Asker]

I don't want to be dating, in a relationship forever.

[Paul09]

But marriage is a relationship till death due you part lol. Have you ever heard of boys dreaming of there wedding? Most likely no. You don't need religion or a marriage certificate. It changes nothing Doesn't prove your love is stronger lol.

[Asker]

''Oh I love you but nope, I'll never marry you'' seems an oxymoron to me. Why are you trying to tell me not to follow my goal, to just forget about it? If there is love then why can't he propose? I'll don't want his money. I'll sign all the prenup, let him run whatever test he wants me (whatever makes him feel sure) if that's what you and others are so fearful about.. otherwise you wouldn't be saying it's just a paper. If I sign it then (I don't at all... I'll happily sign it) will he at least do it for me? Give me my happiness.

[Asker]

Ok so it's not his dream... fine but it's my dream. If he loves me enough, will he sacrifice and give me my dream, give me my happiness? I wouldn't mind if a man said that he isn't too much into marriage but will do it for me.

[Paul09]

Most marriages are for the women , is what you are not getting. So it still doesn't prove they "love " you more. So what about the millions of people that"commit" on paper... Then cheat and or divorce? So that paper didn't change much. Yes wedding parties are super fun lol. But all that other stuff is b. s. Fantasies. When get to be treated like a princess for the day lol. Love is love. Paper is paper lol

[Asker]

So you're not naturally against marriage but you're just distrustful because you think all of us all lying golddiggers. What if I'm the one that takes ''till death'' literally? What if I'll only divorce if I get cheated on or abused, those are my only single two reasons?
I don't want your money, don't care about an elaborated wedding (it can be cheap and quick) and just want full commitment, both in words and papers and I'm forever him? Then are you going to still think be fearful?

[Asker]

Yes I want full commitment, not just words that can be gone with the wind, then it's over after a couple arguments since he has had the options to step out anytime. I want us to be included on each other health insurance, us to make medical decisions if either of us are sick, me taking care of him and vice-versa, share my assets with him, etc. You can't do any of that if you're just boyfriend and girlfriend.
I want to be included in his life fully and vice-versa. If I can't have that full commitment, if he won't give me that, then he can leave. I don't want a boyfriend.

[Paul09]

Woooo. I never said that. It could be one or the other that causes the problem. Yes , hard for me to trust people lol. That part is right. I know a couple who never married, have 2 kids. They are the same as "married" people, just without the "paper". I bet they saved tons to buy a home instead. They share , they do 50\50. You can like all that , want all that. Just saying, it's not life changing or anything. Just a thing a lot if people do, more if a trend.

[Asker]

So if more people drove their cars to the pool because that's the trend and I can do that, I gotta do it too? LOL
I'm my own person and don't want to do any trends. Just because the majority is doing it doesn't mean I have do it too. Regarding trust, I understand that. My ex boyfriend scammed me with money by faking a future, telling me it was to get married. I was blind by then and if he had told me ''' (my name), give me your savings, I need it for our future, I'll pay it back'', I would've gone that far and given it all to him. Luckily it didn't go that far but it I could've lose more money.

When I was trusting, I just trusted. Yes I won't ever be giving anyone my money. Unbelievable but yes men can also get money from us. I didn't know that, was unaware of that type of user.

[Paul09]

Well if you still don't know religion was created by man, to control with fear. You'd know marriage is a scam lol. Like you almost got scammed, thankful you didn't. So yes, many people jump on the marriage train. Trust is a long process to build, that is for sure. People suck, people hide their true selves. Men and women like that better get what's coming for them.

[Asker]

My whole relationship with my 1st ex boyfriend was a scam from the beginning. He even faked our initial friendship too. Well he really was a real life narcissistic-sociopath. That's a few % in the human population and I just happened to be that unlucky woman that crossed path with him. I still got scammed. I still lost $1,300 and he'll never pay me back. Yet, I still would like to find a marriage-minded man. I don't believe it's a scam to everyone.

The thing is I wasn't thinking about the religious ceremony, church marriage. I'm actually an atheist. I don't believe in god nor religion but in commitment yes. I'm would be ok with a brief marriage at a municipal or courthouse; doesn't want to be at church. I've never asked for an elaborated dress either; I actually hate those. I'm ok with a loose, comfortable clothing. I'll would be willing to contribute to the wedding cost. I wouldn't let him pay it all by himself. I don't think I'm asking for too much to be honest.

[Paul09]

That's fair. I respect that you don't need a huge expensive wedding. But what benefits do you get from being married?

[Asker]

You'll never understand from a romantic woman's stance. It would feel like an honor, like him considering me so highly.
Since you don't understand it, I'll try to make the closest comparison I can think about:
You love your job dearly and always wanted to work for the company. You're an exceptional employee and wish to one day a manager. You know the responsiblities and have proven to be suitable for that position. You're not after the money but being considered, valued... feeling appreciated for all your commitment and hard work, for being their loyal employee, etc. You're great but they tell you ''But it's the same thing, why do you need to be supervisor, manager, why, an employee is the same'' or they keep you with false promises of one day giving you the position. How would you feel?

[Paul09]

Lol. I understand what you are saying. But this isn't the same thing. It's a 2 way relationship. Not a job for one or the other. I do not know what love is, never been. But I know I'd be loyal to anyone I'm with. No need for commitments on paper. If I did prenup all the way.

[Asker]

Well that example it's a 2 way street too, the employee and the employer. Getting ascended to a job position is a type of proposal too.
Since you don't know what love is and never felt that, then this makes sense why you think just being boyfriend and girlfriend (which is still the dating stage) is good enough.

[Paul09]

No , no. I am to love. Just never found it. So I learned to love myself more. ;) But why can't it be the love of your life? Why do you need to prove it to the world with a paper? I can see you have strong opinions, as also do I.

[Asker]

Meanwhile I'm wondering why can't the love of my life be my husband in every way, in words, in paper, in public, everything? Why just a boyfriend?

[Shy_Steve]

I think we all just want someone to Approach us instead of the other way round.

[Asker]

I'll put myself out there and start doing that.

[OddBeMe]

Well, maybe… but you could also believe in astrology

[Asker]

yeah I guess

[ZenJen444]

Your appearance and self esteem sound like the issue

[Asker]

I've been told my appearance is ok. As for my self-esteem yeah I think that must be it. But if you were 35 years old (my age) and was still childless and unmarried wouldn't that depress you?

[ZenJen444]

No that wouldn't depress me lol.

[krin_m]

I personally am very happy with my love life and I wish you the same!

[Asker]

Good to hear you're happy with your life. Hopefully this next upcoming year bring me good surprises.

[Alicerayne]

There is no Love, I wonder if there ever was, all I see is Lust xp

[Asker]

yeah it's like lust have replaced commitment so badly

[Nikki1989]

Nope. Life is what you make of it.

[Asker]

I didn't choose to get lied to and future faked twice

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Unfortunately, some are quite unlucky.

[Asker]

yeah true
If I ever get proposed one day, I'll be celebrating it with my family and get drunk for that day

[SnowedIn]

No. There's always more there.

[Asker]

Hopefully

[Midgetmcwidget]

No terrible luck

[Asker]

yeah, sometimes life sucks I guess. I still dream about the day I'll one day get my marriage proposal, hopefully

[PhenomenalQueen]

I feel the same way.. I’m unlucky in love lol

[tonamimargaux]

I strongly agree on this in my case

[Asker]

I'm so sorry to hear you're on my same boat too.

[Chelsdope0]

I’m unlucky bc I’m ugly lol

[Asker]

I'm so sorry to hear that.

[Chelsdope0]

Nothing to be “sorry” about. It’s not all about look ya know

[moviedude714]

How long was your longest relationship

[Asker]

More than a decade and getting nothing out of that

[Asker]

I've been future faked for 15 years... met him when I was 19 and broke free last Oct at age 34. Then dated my 2nd boyfriend afterwards and had to break up because he was lying about the future, wasting my time; another liar.

[moviedude714]

What do you mean you weren't getting anything out of the relationship

[Asker]

I didn't get commitment, the most important thing ever.

[moviedude714]

I assume you got plenty of sex

[Asker]

Yes but we don't want just sex. We want sex with commitment. My 2nd relationship was an extreme case; he didn't have sex after a year of dating because he was an asexual man.

I feel like my life is a strange world. My 1st boyfriend had a normal, sex drive and my 2nd had none; both extremes... wow.

[Asker]

Honestly, nope I couldn't be in a relationship with a man with no drive again. It's one thing to respect a woman and not push for sex but nothing at all seems extreme too.

[Shamalien]

140 pounds at 5’7 isn’t great shape

[Asker]

It depends on the weight distribution. My breast tends to be naturally bigger and adds some weight.

[Asker]

Not all bodies are the same.

[Shamalien]

Well now you’ve got me curious 😛

[TheFlak38]

Single women are single by choice

[Asker]

I didn't choose to get lied to about a future, get lied to about marriage.

[TheFlak38]

Think about the THOUSANDS of nice guys you friend zoned in favour of your astronomical standards until you hit the wall and were replaced by the new generations of fresh young sluts.

[TheFirstMan]

Are you saying you are single?

[Asker]

Yes I am.

[TheFirstMan]

Are you searching for a partner? I'm mean now

[Asker]

Not at the meantime. The 2nd break-up was too recent.

[TheFirstMan]

Do you willing to relocate and change your beliefs for your future partner?

[Manuel2]

True but luck at sex life

[Asker]

We don't get happy with just romance and sex. That's not my final goal.

[Manuel2]

So you want friendshkp with kids a house. All that but no sex?

[Asker]

I'm going to focus on having a child first. I just went to a fertility clinic today and I'm still fertile at age 35. Once I'm done with it (that'll be it and I'll have a procedure to have no more kids) then I wouldn't be pressured anymore with the biological clock issue and go back to the dating world... then find a marriage-minded man and would no longer be urge for a quicker proposal.

[Manuel2]

I think you are dealing with this the wrong way. You want want want and not thinking about need need need.
That poor child born from sperm donor or a quicky is wrong.
I fear for that child mental and physical health.

[Manuel2]

You have a marriage free pressure free romance with kids.
But who ever hurt you is deeper than you have cope with.
You may need to let it go and have some life. I guest you have had few lovers and sex less. It is clear that you could have been in a very abuse relationship

[Manuel2]

That man wanted sex has he had children from someone else but he only want sex from you

[In_Trance]

I don't think it's anything to do with luck

[Asker]

What's the other explanation?

[In_Trance]

You don't think it's anything to do with the fact that you know yourself well? Confident in your ability?

[Asker]

That can be probably the reason I guess

[Pterodon]

Will you marry me?

[Asker]

That's sweet. Thanks

[Pterodon]

I’m not joking

[msc545]

I have been quite unlucky, sadly.

[Asker]

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully the right person will come. I just hope this upcoming year brings great news.

[msc545]

thanks

[Alex8736]

neither lucky nor unlucky

[Asker]

I'm unlucky. Both my 1st and 2nd boyfriend turned out to be future fakers.

[Alex8736]

it's people's actions that speak louder than words.

[Asker]

true and unlike my 1st, the 2nd got dumped faster. Needless to say I still wasted a year of nothing, of lies again.

[CubaPirate]

35 years together says yes

[Asker]

I'm happy for you.

[CubaPirate]

Thanks 👍🤗👍

[tedbuoyy]

Maybe but it's not just the luck facto

[Asker]

I've been analyzing myself. I think I've been too sweet to people and men all the times. I've been overdoing it with the cooking and lending men money. All that to get little to nothing in return, no engagement ring. No more of that.

[Vikkrram]

Never lucky in love

[Vikkrram]

Introvert , Shy , ugly looking , runs my father's buisness , don't have friends. Boring person in real , never had girlfriend , can't even say hi to my crush... lol

In short I am a dumba**

[Asker]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope we both find that person in our lives.

[hellfirec]

Yes indeed

[Asker]

I'm officially done idolizing bfs and providing cook services for them. I had enough of giving so much for little to nothing in return. I still believe I'll done day get an engagement ring from that special man.

[Kareem_z21]

Yes maybe

[Asker]

true

[EaterPeter]

Ha ha ha f*ck no

[EaterPeter]

Oops. Most or all of us are unlucky.

[Asker]

yeah I guess. I think dream of one day getting my marriage proposal eventually. I hope to get it one day.

[EaterPeter]

All the best!