Aren't we in love with our partners?

[Anonymous]

Well, I (m22) have two close friends I'm facing a similar situation with, one is Mark (m20) the other is Lucy (f21). We all are in relationships and all of us so far has lasted between 2½ to 4 months, we started dating our partners almost simultaneously.

You see, the other day we started talking about how our relationships are going, and we all had something in common, when we spend a certain amount of time with our partners, we get tired and we want time for ourselves, meanwhile, our partners don't get bored and they'd happily spend 24/7 with us. This raised the questions that maybe we're not in love with our partners. In my case, sometimes I'd rather spend time with my friends than with my girlfriend.

Is it possible that we're not happy with our relationships and we don't love our partners?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm dude, that's some real stuff you guys are going through. Relationships can definitely be complicated, especially early on. A few things that come to mind:

It's totally normal to want your own space sometimes, even if you really like the person. Spending every second together would probably drive anyone mad, no matter how much you care about them.

Feeling drained after awhile doesn't necessarily mean you're not into them - it could just be part of learning how much together time works best for you individually.

That said, if you're constantly preferring to chill with your friends instead of your partner after only a couple months, that might be a sign the spark just isn't totally there.

The big thing is how you feel when you ARE with your girl. Are you engaged and enjoying your time together? Or do you constantly find yourself wanting to bail? Your gut will probably tell you the answer.

Maybe have an open talk with your partner about making solo time a regular part of your routine together. See how it feels. And don't be afraid to end it if you realize you're just not that into them - better now than dragging it on.

Tough spot all around. Trust your instincts and don't settle if your heart's not fully in it, I say. Just be real with each other along the way. Hope you guys figure it out!

[strateguy632]

that is not lack of love. love means caring deep affection, but not constantly together.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Yeah, sometimes it happens.