How do I tell my girlfriend I lied about my job?

[Anonymous]

I lied to my girlfriend of 3 months about having a job, when I really don’t. I graduated a couple of months ago from high school, so I don’t think it’s a huge deal, but I know she would think I was lazy/unmotivated if I told her I don’t have a job and that I don’t study at the moment. That’s why on our first date I said I still work at the job I used to work at this summer. Then the lie kind of just rolled on. Now I’m so scared she’ll find out the truth somehow, since she might meet someone someday who works at the same job I “work at” and realize that I lied to her. What should I do?

[SteveSmith1985]

She is going to care way more about the fact that you lied: than she will that you haven't been working for the three months.

You're absolutely right, it's not a big deal to not work for a few months after graduating. But lying about it is a huge deal.

There are two paths, and ONLY two paths in front of you:

1. You continue lying to your girlfriend. You constantly worry she'll find out, you feel like a scumbag (because that's a scumbag thing to do), and you can be DAMN sure that whenever she does find-out. She's fucking DONE. Immidiately. You end up being an (objectively) shitty guy, and your relationship is 100% done. It's a matter of which day that sword will falll. Could be today, could be next month. WHo knows.

or


2. You tell her you lied NOW. If you are going to tell her at all, suck it up and do it now. The longer you wait, the more guilty you are.
You can try and explain why you lied somewhat.

But you need to understand that there is NO good reason for lying about this. PERIOD. If you don't understand that going-in... there is no way you're coming out of that conversation with any chance of a relationship with this girl.

You fucked-up. HUGE.

Nothing you say is going to make the fuck-up any less bad. If anything it will make it look worse. Because you're trying to explain why it was 'sort of ok' for you to have chosen to lie. It's not ok. At all. Expect her to see it that way too.

Essentially, you're throwing yourself at this girls feet. Admitting you fucked-up inexcusably, and begging for her forgiveness.

That really is your only possible non-scumbag play here.

And that sucks. Nobody wants to go to somebody with their tail between their legs to grovel for their forgiveness. That's humiliating. But it's 100% your fault. And it's 100% your only possible way out of this.

If you've got any balls. Now is the time to prove it.

Don't ever find yourself in a similar position, ever again.

Learn from this if you lose your girlfriend.

Learn from this if you somehow manage to keep her.

I don't know how she's going to take it. But (as they say) it's time to 'man-up.' You need to come-clean. Otherwise, you're a piece of shit.

[SteveSmith1985]

Fuck me. Sorry about the mis-gendering there. I forgot the color of your profile, while I was getting into answering the question. (it changes nothing about the answer). But... sorry! No offence intended. 🙂

[Summeroflove]

Well….. she’s gonna find out eventually so better tell her now

[melanieeeB]

Tell her that you have to clear stuff up and just start talking... explain her like you did to us... she deserves the truth 🙏🏼 and lies always have short legs

[Anonymous]

May be hypothetically easier if you find a job right now, start working, and then say it. But may be even worse. I don't know.

[Krillind]

Just tell her the truth and apologise. Find a job first before telling her if you can.

[In_Trance]

Straight up face to face