Did I lose my money for good?

[Anonymous]

I've sent $4000 to my long-distance boyfriend. Supposedly he had a family crisis and it was for medications for his sick mom. He did promised to pay it back. We used to visit each other every 2 months but then he stopped.

Then we broke up online, I found out a several lies about him (including the one about his mom being sick) and now he's not returning my money. He's not even the US either. I feel sooooo stupid. I lost my money right?

[Aerissa_Jade]

Yup, don't ever lend money to anyone... it will ruin the relationship. If they need money they can go to a bank or somewhere else and get a loan.

He may have broke up with you to avoid paying it back and he might of done it in a way to make it seem mutual or that you were the one to end it, but that was his end goal. End things and then ghost, block or avoid and not pay back.

Many people don't see that as stealing, they'll see walking into the store and taking something as theft but convincing someone to loan them money and never paying back, in their minds is not stealing.

[Lliam]

Yep. You lost your money. The guy scammed you.

NEVER "loan" money to a partner. Loaning money to ANYONE is a huge risk.

Do you have any way to contact his mom and tell her what he did? That's the only possible way you'll get your money back.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you, but don't get cynical or let this destroy your ability to trust. There are a lot of honest, trustworthy people out there. Just don't trust anyone with money, valuables, or certain personal information because there is always a chance that they will take advantage of you.

I would immediately distrust any partner who asked me for money. My esteem for them would decrease.

[Summeroflove]

If he won’t give it back. Speak with a attorney. There COULD maybe be ways to sue maybe not. If he’s a scammer I don’t know what to say.


But I’m sorry about this

[MzAsh]

You were scammed. I have a video on this and a whole blog post I’m wrapping up.

https://youtu.be/PM2gmmxLVzM

[Unit1]

Makes me want to not accept gifts from girls and at the same time a wise lady once taught me that rejecting gifts is offensive to the giver.

[MzAsh]

It depends on how well you know the person.
Here’s the blog post: damesthatknow.com/.../

[OlderAndWiser]

It is an expensive lesson to learn but you allowed yourself to be used.

[Asker]

I feel sooo stupid

[OlderAndWiser]

There are many lessons in life, and you learn from your mistakes. Welcome to the club!

[AviatorTom]

Kiss those dollars goodbye, and acknowledge that you have learned a lesson... Giving or loaning money to a friend or family member is rarely a good idea.

[DJB72]

Probably. You might be able to lay a fraud charge against him in his home country, but realistically the money is gone.

Best case might be the threat of a criminal record for theft makes him return some of it, but it'd be unlikely.

[Asker]

It sucks our entire relationship was a scam. Those times we visited each other every 2 months was for nothing. I've been used in every way.

[DJB72]

It's called a "long con" where the scammer inserts themselves into your life somehow before the big score. Most people would get caught unless they're incredibly cynical.

Try to file charges. He's likely done it before and losing his passport could stop him doing it again.

[exitseven]

Yes unfortunately I think you did. Have you ever even been to his home? He might not even be who you think. The fact he is not even in the US is a bad sign.

[Asker]

Well not really. I visited him 4 times (he's from Australia) but it was a rent room he was staying over. He told me that his house was under maintance, that there was issue with the plumbing and more things that needed to be fixed. I should've known that was a lie too.

I spoke with his mom just recently and she's not sick from cancer. She was very hurt that he would lie about her like that. It turns out he owes his mother money too; he only paid her back 1/2 of it. He broked me immediately when we broke up. I still have his name and his picture though. I'm going to contact a lawyer about it.

[Anonymous]

So sorry to hear that this happened to you. So you did visit him face to face every 2 months? What country is he in? Just wondering if you can file charges against him. Yes it was a con job. Especially knowing that his mom really isn't sick.

[Asker]

He's from Australia and yeah we used to visit each other every 2 months; seen each other in person 8 times (4 times he came over and 4 times I visited him).
I've spoken with his mother recently and she was shocked that he would lied about her being sick with cancer. I've explained it all to her. Turns out he's owning her money too (he only paid her back half of it) but the lady doesn't want to charge him because it's her child after all.

[Asker]

Who would scam their own mother!!! Wow, a total garbage of a person. He blocked me when he broke up with me but I still have his picture saved and his name. I'm trying to seek a laywer at this moment.

[Opinion Owner]

That is just crazy stuff! One reason to avoid being involved with a person who is THAT far away.

[Kha0tiic_xo]

Yes you lost your money, and as much as it sucks and is awful, you can learn from this so it doesn't ever happen again!
I'm sorry that happened to you!

[Xepshunall]

Right. Trust nobody unless you have the means to utterly destroy them. Even then, be guarded. Seems like you should destroy him in any way except ways that could land you in jail/prison.

[LiamJHayden]

Yes, the money is gone. So sorry. I hate it when people prey on the kindness of others like this.

[Asker]

yes and then some people keep asking where are all the kind men/women, where are them
We get destroyed, heartbroken by users, by liars. Not only I'm not ever going to give my money to anyone ever again but now I don't trust easily anymore.

[LiamJHayden]

You can still be kind, just learn from this awful experience. It is wise to avoid lending money even to friends or family unless you can afford to give it away or can get sufficient collateral.

[LoneleeGirll]

Unfortunately you have lost your money. $4,000 for medication I feel should have raised alarms.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Oh wow... this stuff happens to chicks too? 😂 Yeah that money is gone. It's like lesson 101 I'd give my kids about Philipina and Thai chicks.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like. Gonna be difficult to retrieve it off shore but you could try talking to your bank. Sounds like a classic scam.
Sigh. What did we learn?

[Asker]

So much for helping someone in need, being a giving person, believing I found love.. all that to get used.
That's the last time I'll never give out my money to anyone. Unbelievable.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yeah probably... It must feel so bad... but you live you learn..

[Asker]

yes it sucks
I'm never ever giving anyone my money again. Now I can't even trust the same anymore.

[Rockstarrrrr]

I agree

[Anonymous]

Yeah, that's why the smart people don't keep money in the bank

A 20g a year bank teller will sell your details to scammers for a round of shots on the weekend

[Sparkie460]

I'd say there's no chance that you will ever see that money. He scammed you, got the money and disappeared

[Anonymous]

Yes, your money is gone and done. This is one expensive lesson for ya and one free for me. Sorry, i didn't mean to imply this.

[driven159]

Yes you got scammed just like so many others never send money to anyone ever now learn from this

[jwbjimmy23]

Nope not getting your money back he scammed you

[Anonymous]

Short of hiring someone to hunt him down and get it back (or remove body parts), yeah.

[BCRanger10]

Most likely. Sorry.

[Guardian45]

Sorry. But you're money is gone! You've been had.