Did I just ruin myself and value?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 3 years deeply wronged me and I really thought this was something we could work out. However, this hurt was festering inside me and it wouldn't stop until I proceeded with my plan of hurting him back.

I thought it would make me feel better after it was done but it didn't. Even though I managed to hurt him too (just like he did to me), I ended destroying myself. It solved nothing. I feel worse now. Did I just ruin myself and my value?

Updates

+1 y

I feel as if I've scooped to his level, so low, as if I've just degraded myself forever.

[MisterWack]

Say that it was wrong to do revenge and that in the moment you felt so frustrated that all you could do was end up hurting you… I’m sorry for what I did in retaliation, I apologize sincerely and I hope we can move on from this better than when we entered (something like that).
Say that to him and actually mean it.
That is my advice, what would be best is if you never took the ‘eye for an eye’ approach however you crossed that threshold and must own up like the mature adult you want to be. That is what I’d do, you don’t ruin your value even lower UNLESS you take accountability & apologize immediately. Not via phone or text, in person.

[Caroline91]

Ah, @MisterWack, I see you have emerged from the wormhole even wiser that when you entered it! lol

[MisterWack]

@Caroline91
Thank you lol, really appreciate it from a kind energetic imaginative soul like yourself

[Caroline91]

Awww. well thanks for accompanying me on that adventure! Perhaps we will share another one day lol

[MisterWack]

@Caroline91
XD, you’re welcome. Perhaps perhaps.

[Asker]

Ok I just dumped him an hour ago. I couldn't get over the hurt he put me through and revenge didn't work at all.

[MisterWack]

Mhm. . .

[slatyb]

No, you did one act that you now regret. Dump the boyfriend and forgive yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you. I just dumped him an hour ago.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh girl, I know how much that pain can make you want revenge, but hurting him back was never going to make YOU feel better in the end. Don't be so hard on yourself - we've all lashed out before when our hearts were broken.

The good news is your worth and value don't come from one mistake or bad decision. You're so much more than just this one low moment! Now it's time to put the focus back on healing YOU. Spend time with real friends who lift you up instead of dwelling in the negativity.

Start rebuilding your confidence through things you enjoy - your hobbies, self-care routines, appreciating what you DO bring to the table. This ex isn't worthy of continuing to rent space in your head! Hold your head high knowing you deserve way better treatment than what he gave you.

You've got so much wonderful life ahead to find an actual good guy who sees your beauty inside and out. This was just a bump in the road. I know how strong you are - now go show the world again! You've got this sis.

[Altheavas]

In those situation where self defense is not required. The best revenge is to not step down as the ones who hurt you, leave them in their energy that’ll just show them that’s where they belong, and you keep doing yourself.

Someone is being an idiot or an ignorant, and your rational thoughts is to show them you’re a bigger idiots…, Lol! Set a social and an emotional standards for yourself.
Sometimes, the emotions are stronger then we can handle, and I’m not saying to let them walk all over you, but Always try to go strategically with your fight back, that doesn’t mean fight back deserve an answer, sometimes is to say and do nothing, or just leave and even agree with the ignorance too.


The more you fight back and seek revenge, the more you teint your energy, the worse you feel about yourself. Just take note, create a record and don’t forget.
We’re learning everyday, give yourself another chance and grow from that, just do better next time!

[Caroline91]

I understand, I really do... We all make bad choices at times. Not "mistakes" but bad choices. The thing is, you are insightful enough to realize what you have done and take accountability to your own self for it. You have learned a valuable lesson. Always remember what you have learned and your value will not be diminished for that reason. You will learn to live with whatever it was you did. There will always be a scar, but it will heal and you will heal. No matter how it feels right now, believe me, you have not destroyed yourself. You have learned how NOT to destroy yourself. Now pick yourself up and just put one foot in front of the other every day until the self shame fades. Life will be better bc you will make better choices. I believe happiness is largely a choice... Reach out and choose happy!

[IslaTheWitch]

hatred and revenge taint your soul and heart... and revenge never gives relief because it simply can't

to feel relieved you have to understand and make peace with your past and your feelings. For that to achieve time, honesty and a lot of retrospection are needed to understand what happened and why

[Anonymous]

How can u hurt a person who left and never cared about u

[LazerBean]

Possibly, just depends on what you did

[WhitneySnow]

Depends. What exactly did you do?