Husband constantly broke and going into crisis mode. Is it time for tough love?

[Anonymous]

Husband has severe anxiety. Deliberately Chose easy job with low pay because he says he needed a break from hard labor work. Wife pays 100% of rent and utilities. Pays when eating out. Pay is for most household needs. Husband pays his own car payment, car insurance, food through the work week, and makes 3 credit cards payments each month. No kids. He’s still drowning in debt and his anxiety is up, he’s freaking out. Is it time to tell him to get a better paying job?

[VanillaSalt]

Are we actually talking anxiety? Anxiety overwhelms our common sense and breaks our comprehension skills. I suggest serious therapy.


If he’s just lazy… I got so used to the crutches my friends and family were that I was dependent on them… then I lost em. Homeless and alone with few options. I had to learn to walk on my own. Still learning and I’m way behind others my age cause I fucked around too much but it’s also given me other perspectives many don’t have. But I had to learn this for myself.


Figure out which your dealing with. You can’t force anxiety. There’s nothing you can do BUT force laziness and dependency out.

[Summeroflove]

If all you’re wanting is money. You have problems. If you divorce him over this. You’re probably giving him 50 percent of everything.


Seems you’re a problem I get your frustrations. You need marriage counseling. Before like I say if you’re the breadwinner. Enjoy giving him 50 percent

[Anemone978]

Get him Anxiety meds maybe some counseling then I'm sure he will become a better husband and worker. You seriously don't know how hard normal everyday things are when you suffer with anxiety.

[Rosexøxø]

I wouldn’t freak out over debt.

Pay it in a timely fashion. Save up to own a house anyhow.

[Guy13]

It’s time for that discussion in a positive light as a solution and a better New Year for household. Not complain mode but positive solution mode.

[surebruh]

As someone myself who is working a "lower" paying job than before I have to say I learned my quality of life is more important than money. I get paid roughly 20% less and no longer working 14 hour days, no longer going home in crippling pain or being harassed by management.

I would firstly understand WHY he has anxiety and WHY he has so much debt because it doesn't matter how much money someone makes if they don't live within their means. I've personally known more than one person who have bad habits where they buy things EVERYDAY such as a case of beer, pack of cigarettes, whisky, elaborate starbucks drinks etc..

For debt, maybe bankruptcy or consumer proposal is a better option if its crippling for repayment and possibly counselling for the anxiety if possible.

[aaron210419]

Don't forget he is your husband, and the worst thing you can do is to bail on him in what could be the most difficult time in his life. Show him that you care by sticking it out and when he gets back on his feet he will appreciate this greatly, couching may be a good idea since there may be deeper reasons for his breakdown.
I wish you two the best and I hope you're able to work though this difficult time and come out even stronger as a team.

[FilmGuy93]

Sounds like a higher paying job would be a good idea, if it's possible for him to get one.

[Anonymous]

There’s a lot of “he’s” and “I’s” in this and no “we’s”. You both are married but your finances are separate. This is part of the problem with keeping your finances separate.

[Anonymous]

Is he on any anxiety medication? If not it sounds like he needs to be.

[Anonymous]

He needs medicating and to clear those cards

Get him to cut them up is the best policy

[Anonymous]

It's time to find a better husband