Can a marriage be fixed if husband has become emotionally detached?

[Anonymous]

Husband doesn’t seem to care about anything anymore. He doesn’t want to spend time together, be intimate or anything. And when I bring it up he says he’s fine and if I don’t like it I can go. He has no respect when we argue and will just curse me. I don’t think he’s having a affair I just think we’ve been fighting a lot that he’s disconnected. He refused counseling and just doesn’t care about how I feel at all. Is there a way to fix this? Or do I need to give up? We had a son last year and he just turned one. We also have been married for 4 years.

[kylee2437]

If he is refusing possible solutions to solve his emotional unavailability - that is a huge sign it’s not going to work out. His first issue is he is probably taking lack of accountability and blaming the fact that you two have been having fights rather than viewing that he has a huge issue which is his lack of care to solve any issues he’s having with you

[mermaidcancermoon]

You can't fix it if only one person is willing to do the work. Once a person deraches from a relationship, its a wrap. Theyre only staying because they feel stuck some way.

[Plinko]

You fucked up somewhere if he's shutdown on you like this. You can fix it, but not without knowing the problem, and you're not going to be able to find out from him. He doesn't want to tell you. Either he's not comfortable, or he thinks he's being unfair to you.

It's gonna be a rough go, but the arguing isn't going to help.

[Gent207]

There are many good podcasts and books on the subject. 2 books I recommend:

Love & Respect by Emerson

Love Languages by GaryChapman

Other advice use this formula:

"I feel unloved when you don't plan a date night"

The Formula connects a specific feeling to a specific behavior that is solvable.

[Anonymous]

watch out, this sounds like a chris watts case.

anyways, he's shown you that he doesn't want to put in the effort and is just stringing you along until divorce eventually happens. and no i don't think this can be fixed because of the way he's acting and not wanting to fix it on his side.

[Anonymous]

Well just like with anything else (or if it was you in his place), he has to WANT to first and foremost before anything can be done. He doesn't even want to try by the sounds of it, so unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do other than keep trying to talk to him (calmly thought, don't argue or fight) and let him know how much you want to "fix" your relationship and that you're willing to work on it, IF he feels the same way.

[Opinion Owner]

Remind him of how it used to be, or the "good times", assuming you had them before and it hasn't always been bad (?)

[Anonymous]

Can’t really say. Most of what you wrote seems like it’s all about you. Your feelings. Why you two fighting so much? You complaining all the time? Starting fights for the hell of it? There’s more to this than what you wrote.

[HighValue]

What happened or was going on to cause the arguments before he didn't care anymore?

[Googlemyahoo]

Sounds like he's checked out. Most guys I knew who’ve gone through a divorce say “cheaper to keep her.”

Probably what he’s doing.

[TheFlak38]

Now you know how it is to be a man living with a mental nutcase gaslighting you all the time. Congratulations.

[Danny_dan92]

Usually when either person involved becomes detached. That’s it. It’s over

[boobliker]

only if you can re ache him start by not being anonymous with him.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes it takes work and possibly counseling

[Anonymous]

Marriage counseling could help you.