I have feelings for my guy friend? Should I confess or not?

Question

We have been friends since 2017. In 2018 i started liking him and unfortunately he moved to Sikkim for further study, but we stayed in contact. After 4 years we finally met each other in person and I never once stop liking him. In my opinion he doesn't see me in that way but now I can't control my feelings. What should I do HELP ME 😭😭 should I remain as a friend or should I confess to him.

NotTacocaT6969 · Accepted Answer

I’m in love with one of my friends and once sent him an anonymous message while drunk.

It was just a poetic message telling him how amazing he was.

He read it out loud to me and our other friends the next day and kept glancing up at me the entire time.

He was blushing and had a huge smile on his face.

I thought he had connected the dots and knew it was me. (I was shaking and having a silent anxiety attack in the meantime)

Eventually our other friends left and it was just the two of us.

He turned to me and said, “so, about that message.”

I cut him off, cupped my face in my hands and said “I’m sorry. I usually never let those things slip, but I was drinking last night.”

When I took my hands away from my face and saw the look on his…I knew I fucked up.

He said “That was you?”

Fffffuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk

I somehow managed to play it off as me trying to discreetly boost his confidence…though that was technically a half-truth…which is technically a lie.

He was still in shock, but he looked me deep in the eyes and said “thank you.”

Those words still haunt me.

But our friendship didn’t change as a result surprisingly,

I’m still left wondering what would’ve happened if I had just been honest.

If I end up single again, I’m going to just tell him outright in person and face the embarrassment.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

" In my opinion he doesn't see me in that way but now I can't control my feelings ." Eh... speaking from my own experience? You're probably going to wind up friendzoned and disappointed. But should you tell him regardless? That's your call-  Usually you can tell if someone likes you based on their mannerisms and how they treat you. If he's not flirty or seems doesn't interested in you outside a friendship? He's probably not interested.  I'm telling you this because if he's treating you like a friend, then it is a moot point confessing your feelings because he is just going to say, "I like you, but just a friend/sister." So yes, you will have your answer, but you won't like it. But I understand wanting to tell someone you like them, even if part of you already knows it's going to result in rejection... been there, done that... not fun.  Let me ask you this: are you okay remaining friends with him if he doesn't like you? That's the main question. Because even if you don't tell him how you feel and you see him with another girl, that's just going to make you jealous and upset.

Kreneman · Accepted Answer

I have been in that situation before and my advice to you is by asking him some wise questions (which will keep your feelings safe from being hurt). First, Ask him what is the hottest woman that ever capture his eyes? Second, have he ever been in love before? Three, does he ever see himself getting married? Four, what are the quality things that attracted him in a woman the most?

If he ask you why are you asking, you tell him that I want learn how men are attracted to women. When he answers those questions, you will know if your qualify or if he is qualify to be with you.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

You can't control your feelings for him or can't control your ego for wanting him to see you the same way? Need to make sure you define those first. If you really do like him then tell him but do it in a way that is like hey we should go on a date sometime. Throw it out there don't confess like you're in a rom com lol

Guy13 · Answer

I’ve “caught feelings revelations for a woman, if you have a sense that the guy likes you, is much easier for everyone involved. Women, for the most part, hold the position of power in these circumstances.

Summeroflove · Answer

I think you should confess. You never know how someone feels. Just being open and honest

OlderAndWiser · Answer

How can you be a platonc friend and not reveal your feelings to him?

Lusciousphilippa28 · Answer

It's a tricky one because I know the angst you get inside wondering what he's thinking about you, the hours you're probably spending analyzing all of his moves, and how you want to be exclusive with him.

On the other hand, I'm assuming he's around your age? Has he ever had a girlfriend or is he very much into his studies?

Depending on his personality, he could either be the type who has lots of flings, goes partying and nothing serious OR is a serious guy with his studies and would like to look towards meeting a girl who wants marriage OR not interested in relationships and just wants to go ahead with his career right now.

What do you think? If it's the former or the last option, you'd either be used or told no, sadly. If it's the middle option, he may be already talking about this to others and you could subtly hint that you too are interest in settling down and growing with someone. What's important is that he asks you to go further. Girls determine whether men have access to sex, but they determine whether you get into a relationship.

Protect your heart, admire him, but also observe and be curious re his mindframe.
From there, you can determine what to do next.

Screenwriter · Answer

Unless you've had time IN PERSON to develop something beyond a LD relationship, DON'T CONFESS ANYTHING!

If you don't think this guy has any such feelings for you, it's more than likely that you're correct.

Since you're being friends in person, hold your peace and be friends with this guy to see what, if anything, develops. If you don't see his feelings toward you change, don't ruin the friendship with such an outburst. And really, are your feelings realistic with the little time you've spent together?

Only 10 percent of a person's personality is revealed in texts, emails. You, truthfully, know very little about a person if you haven't spent In-person time together. It takes 60 hours of one-on-one contact to develop a FRIENDSHIP! Just a friendship. That's 20, count-'em, 20 3-hour dates!

And some ways to develop friendships require times of just hanging around in each others' presence quietly. Yanking poison ivy off the side of the house, gardening together, cooking dinner, watching a TV show in each others' homes. Hanging out with his friends at a barbecue, pool party. And most importantly of all, officially DATING.

If this man hasn't asked you OUT on an official date, and there's no indication from your text that he has or that he wants to, he's not interested in you in that way.

I wish you luck, but be realistic and look for love interests with people who are similarly interested in YOU and let you know...

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t. It sounds like you two are in a very long distance situation that works now because there aren’t the expectations that come with being in a relationship, you to are just casual friends. But to put romance into the mix and what expectations come with growing as a couple, it would likely throw off the dynamic you two currently have. On top of that, it’s rarely a good idea. The friendship you have gets all messed up and awkward if they don’t like you back. I’ve never seen friends turn to lovers where it works out in the end if at all. The instances it does work is rare.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

In life if you never try you will never know & if you like someone don’t be afraid to let them know. As for the heart the heart wants what the heart wants & if your heart wants him & his heart wants you two hearts will connect. On the flip side if your heart wants him & his heart doesn’t want you or he’s unsure a heart can get broken easily.

Go for it!

katestar · Answer

confess. if you tell him how you feel. he might feel the same way. i've been there before. i've had feelings for the guy i grew up with. we were teenagers. we met through a friend. i told him that i've liked him. and he turned me down. 5 years later. i've been trying to find him. but no luck. if i find him. we're going to catch up. and see how it goes

westend12 · Answer

I think you should go for it. If he has been on your mind for this long and you still have feelings, I think it’s worth sharing that with him. You never know what can happen and maybe he is thinking the same thing. Definitely worth clarifying it with him and seeing how it goes.

AlphaGhost · Answer

Confess, get rejected and use that hate to move on but remember one thing, it's not his fault that you have caught feelings for him and don't blame him for rejecting you !

DizzyDesii · Answer

Speaking from experience of one bad attempt and a second I almost made, I wouldn't confess. If you know it’ll make things awkward and possibly ruin the friendship, just let it go.

kevypatyy7 · Answer

My friend if you like him the way you say, abeg just confess he might be feeling the same. If he is really a good friend, he will understand and tell you the truth and everything ends but of course remind friends, I hope

CubsterShura · Answer

I think you should ask even if it ends in a rejection. It is not good to have those feelings bottled up.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Lifes short. Do it. I have confessed before. Id rather be rejected than live my life wondering if i shouldve done something...

TheFlak38 · Answer

but... but... the thousands of dumb naive girl here on Gag and their armies of white knights told me that men and women can be just friends! how is this possible? I dont understand.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't have to "confess", since that's a lot to lay on someone without warning. Just ask him out on a date, say you think you guys might click and you want to see if you're right.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

Try. Worse than getting a "no" it can't be.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Confess. He won’t be mad and he might like you back.

sunflower44 · Answer

Tell him!! Wouldn't u rather know then always be wondering,, then again he might return the feeling which would be perfect 🤗

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, it’s almost always a bad idea to confess as a girl. Desperate guys that nobody wants will say, “oh I’d love that!” But in reality the average guy is turned off by it. That’s just how it is.

AmeerX · Answer

Tell him you want to be his wife. If he says no, his loss.

SweetTwistedSatanist · Answer

Worth giving it a shot. Nothing from doing nothing!

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Lol " men and women can be friends"🙄🙄

Anonymous · Answer

There’s always a risk on whether he feels the same so it will change things or maybe things will change for the better

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Do what your heart says

saxo2000 · Answer

Go for it, who dares wins!

LenaBanana · Answer

I think you should go for it.

Anonymous · Answer

Show him your boobs

artsy_dragon · Answer

Tell him 💖

linka_pat307 · Answer

Just do it

RandomGuy1030 · Answer

Confessing won't make him like you

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes go ahead

Pterodon · Answer

Yes you should

EaterPeter · Answer

Is he single?

I have feelings for my guy friend? Should I confess or not?

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