Do you tell your significant other if you have dinner with a friend of the opposite sex?

Question

Also what would be your reasons for not telling them.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

If you asked yourself at any time during that event if you should even being doing that to begin with then you should tell your boyfriend. If you don’t the guilt and paranoia is going to gnaw at your conscious (and definitely at your subconscious).

Unresolved guilt has an odd way of actually making you double down and doing worse when you think it’s enough punishment. You self compromise yourself with “well I already took one step why not take two?”.

Anyway you haven’t given any details on why you had dinner with this other guy to begin with. Was it a co-worker or an old (truly platonic) friend who so happened felt like getting dinner for the hell of it? You would know in his body language and vibe what his intentions were (and women do have strong intuition for that). Or did you like the attention from another man? Did he pay for it all?

If it’s the latter two then tell your boyfriend. But it sounds like nothing else happened. But it’s better your boyfriend hears from you first in an even tone vs. him finding out otherwise or you saying it to him in a fight just because you’re mad at him for something else. If that happens he will definitely question what happened.

Better to come clean and nip this in the bud. Just be honest that you really didn’t think anything of it but realized later that wasn’t a good idea.

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

Having done this myself, and experiencing the long term end result, i have to indeed ask the question, why? What is so damn important that going to dinner with an opposite sex friend must require your spouse or partner not come with you?

I know a lot of the responses here say "just friends". Indeed, I too, thought the same. Well, fast forward two years and me spending more and more alone time with my "just friend", I can tell you, the end result isn't "just friends"...

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

I tell my boyfriend due to the simple fact it's a sign of respect towards him.

When you don't respect someone else you lie, hide things, etc. because you don't care for them and you don't care for their feelings. This is why, as example, cheaters lie, hide things, etc from partners because they simply don't respect or care for partner.

Haha456 · Accepted Answer

thats part of the reason why marriage sucks. 90% of the time your spouse will say no. In the 10% of the time they say "yes" it is only under the condition that the meeting was for business or work. You never know what someone has to offer you nowadays. Its always good to meet people.

SteveZissu · Answer

Because if she is my significant other it is for a reason: I love her and l don't want to hide things from her. I've always had very good friends of the opposite sex but never had sex with any of them, I've always separated both.

When I've had sex with a new woman (I am not a player or a stud, so this happens only when I feel I have something in common with a woman, physical attraction is not enough), afterwards I struggle to be friends with her. She either becomes a thing of the past or, usually, I establish a romantic relationship with her, that when it comes to an end, she never becomes a friend of me, but an ex.

So, if I go out for dinner with a female friend of mine it is just a meeting of two friends who have never had nothing sexual between them, nothing more than that.

So, I always tell my SO and most of the time I usually invite her in the dinner, because I don't like hiding things. I believe that keeping secrets increases the possibility of cheating

SnowedIn · Answer

Yep. And wouldn't not say something. This is an easy one. And it's not asking permission. It's just "this is what I'm doing". Makes my wife feel important, loved, valued. Takes away any possibility of weirdness.

AydenHazor · Answer

I wouldn't hide it from them, but I wouldn't feel the need to tell them every time I grab dinner with a female friend. Most of my closest friend are women, so I get dinner with them fairly often, and I also wouldn't expect a partner to tell me every time she got dinner with a male friend.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Yes. Not like he limits who I can and can't hang out with. But it's out of respect and so he knows where I'm at and with who I'm case of emergencies

HappyWoman34 · Answer

Sure. Why should you have to hide it? If you do, that’s a red flag. Run away fast. Don’t walk.

dustybiker · Answer

Lies always come to light. And the trouble it causes in addition to whatever you’re hiding is never worth it.  I’d rather be upfront myself.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope, who I eat with and why is my business. They can ask but I'm not going out of my way when I dont need to

slatyb · Answer

I hate keeping secrets, and hate telling lies even more. When my wife is away I have dinner with anyone who will have dinner with me.

AsaKyo · Answer

If you just had dinner with them and nothing else, why hide it? Only reason you would is if you were doing something else other than just eating out

susie22 · Answer

Always, no secrets. Besides, it's just dinner!

CubsterShura · Answer

Yeah? I'm an open book so I rarely hide what I'm doing anyway.

SexyRedd1966 · Answer

My close guy friends are both married so if we went out it would be a double date

bkcutie11 · Answer

He show know yeah. If it was totally platonic your partner should know and be comfortable with it

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Yes of course. Although I'd only go to dinners alone with friends that I know don't want more.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I wouldn't go to dinner with a friend of the opposite gender without inviting my girlfriend as well.

exitseven · Answer

I never do this but I would tell her. She would find out anyway somehow.

Anonymous · Answer

I said yes because anything you hide from your interactions with people from your partner is considered cheating

ColHathi · Answer

Probably. At the very least I wouldn't intend to keep it a secret.

Dav1dTh0ma389 · Answer

You shouldn't be doing that at all. Why do women think you can be "just friends" with the opposite sex, if you're straight (such as yourself)

Minahh · Answer

I would tell him everything so yes even that also I don't really see a point in having a dinner with a man unless it's business

Anonymous · Answer

Why the fuck are you going out to dinner alone with another man while being in a relationship? (Unless this man is a relative it's not okay) Like wtf?

Anonymous · Answer

I would tell him! He can have friends too if the opposite sex but she has to be fat, ugly and is not capable of having sex

wafflemakerman69 · Answer

Yes Yes no sense in keeping secrets. Tell your love the trueth.

electromagnetic · Answer

He’ll know because I don’t have a reason to lie.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yes, we discuss everything.

Flower7 · Answer

I just wouldn’t do it to begin with.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Out of respect— yes.

Orion76 · Answer

Your are doomed either way, cancel that dinner.

Iron_Man · Answer

I always tell her the truth

Anonymous · Answer

I would never that’s disrespectful I think

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, Id be open about it to my partner.

Do you tell your significant other if you have dinner with a friend of the opposite sex?

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Would you be ok with your spouse going out to dinner with a friend of the opposite sex?

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Would you be ok with your spouse going out to dinner with a friend of the opposite sex?

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