I have a boyfriend, we have been for 2 years together. Recently, I feel kind of bored when we go out. Can you give me some advice what to do, because I really want to get the spark back.
It sounds like there are two issues going on, the physical pain and the rut the two of you find yourselves in. As far as the physical pain goes, get an evaluation at a medical school. Teaching facilities are more likely to research the probable cause, while GPs just tend to move on to the next patient if nothing shows up in the tests. If there is no physical cause, it may be psychosomatic, and you may get help from a therapist who specializes in psychosomatic pain.
As far as getting into a relationship rut, that's not uncommon. Though the newness is all that's necessary when a relationship is young, most people haven't the faintest idea how to keep a relationship new and alive when that original newness wears off. Think back on past experiences you found to be meaningful. Don't focus on the ones that cost a lot of money; you'll find it easier to keep a relationship alive if you discover the subtleties that were meaningful. Identify the type of things rather than just endlessly repeat the same things. When people shoot for extremes, they have limited options, and once they achieve it, it's over and the focus jumps to the next extreme. Subtleties are unlimited, so it's easier to do little impactful things; and the meaning we get from subtleties tends to linger much longer than the feeling we get from extremes.
Meaningful relationships are determined by what we bring to the relationship, not what the other provides. When there's a giver and a taker, the taker generally bleeds the giver dry... till the giver backs down and only gives what is being received. If you've had a hard day at work and look forward to a big hug and kiss from your partner when you get home, don't assume your partner will read your mind and know that. If you expect your partner to be a mind reader, you'll end up bitter and resentful on a regular basis. Just reach out to him and give him a big hug and kiss, and your actions will probably trigger a deeper awareness and caring in him.
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We have all had relationship grow stale or get dry. You obviously care deeply for this individual. I always pull out the first six months of stubs or memories. Those were the best times when everything was new and bright. I start mixing those end about every two weeks... Or I will advance book a concert since that is something we like. And, planning 3 months out suggests a committed future to the other person.
Sometimes, it is as simple as not feeling special any longer. It isn't even about the number of things doing. I learned that one the hard way...
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Have you considered a long weekend together out of town?
1. Get a second opinion from another doctor about your kidney, keep doing that until a doctor figures out whats wrong.
2. Fix your sex drive.
3. Do something fun instead of just going out.Have you'll been active and trying new stuff in and out of bed?
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