How do you bring the spark back in a relationship that's lost it's spark?

Question

How do you bring the  spark back in a relationship that's lost it's spark?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My marraige had lost its spark and my wife wasn't into having sex with me. My wife prefers a big dick. I have a small dick being indian and I always compensated for it with foreplay and oral to make her cum. I heard her talking one time to her friends about guys and penis sizes when one of her ex's names came up, apparently he was half man half horse and its the only part of him she missed. My wife mentioned how much she loves me and how are sex life is OK but she really misses her exs dicks who were all average sized and above. The other women were talking about their sex lives and their men's penis sizes too and sex toys. My ex confessed that she hides sex toys in the drawer of her bedside locker that she uses on herself while I'm away to give her that filled up stretched feeling her hung ex used to give her. One of these toys was a dildo moulded from her exs dong. So I decide to dig around one evening while she was at her parents in bedside locker and I find some very large sex toys hidden under some pyjamas. As well as one very large dildo that's huge nearly 3 times bigger than my penis and thick, like real thick, thicker than my wife's arm. Size Matters but do you believe a prosthetic penis device is enough to satisfy a wife who like big dicks when her hubby is small? I was feeling a little bit down and worried that my wife wasn't enjoying our sex life. So I bought a very thick 9 inch penis sleave. So I've given her oral and lots of foreplay and she said she enjoyed it but really wasn't in the mood to orgasm and told me I should f*ck her real quick as she has stuff to do. So I told her to bend over and she reluctantly did telling me to hurry up as her show was starting. I was completing turned on by the thought of what I was about to do to her and made excuses that I was just trying to get real hard as I was putting the sleave on. Once the sleave was on I wasted no time and put just the tip of it in and she shuddered like she never had before and she knew something was different, then I put it in to just my normal length and she was moaning like never before, then backed right up onto to it taking as much as she could right up against her cervix and came. Excited she begged to be fucked hard and I did. She moaned and screamed and was wetter than I ever seen and she quickly came again this time her orgasm was so powerful that my dick was pushed out of her vagina by her squirting orgasm. She collapsed face down and quickly turned around to look at me and saw the sleave, she said for a moment she thought another guy was in room with her. She kissed me and thanked me and had me f*ck her again until orgasm then I came. We've been using the device all the time since.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You communicate, and you try to figure out the root cause of any tension or problems, and work on resolving them together. Just like an injury, it's pointless to try to address the symptoms if you don't fix the root cause of the symptoms - and if you fix the root cause, the symptoms tend to resolve themselves on their own.

Having said that, your age is listed as 21, so you're pretty young. As such, you may have some unrealistic expectations, so I'm going to talk about that for a second. If it doesn't apply to you, it might help someone else.

Women are HEAVILY marketed to as children with the Disney Princess fairy tales, which talk about "happily ever after" - and LOTS of grown women still take that seriously and believe in it, but it's just a story that Disney created when they re-wrote European fairy tales (which are much darker, more violent, and prone to tragic endings) to be more positive and young-kid-friendly. "Happily ever after" does not exist.

It's normal to feel really excited - butterflies in your stomach - when you are in a new relationship - but those butterflies do not last, for anyone. Butterflies are INFATUATION - powerful, but somewhat immature and unsophisticated feelings. When infatuation becomes love, you are moving from immature feelings to more mature ones, and love doesn't come with butterflies - it comes with contentment and security, but not so much "excitement." This is NORMAL, and actually a positive sign. A relationship is about becoming a TEAM, and it doesn't mean that you no longer have problems in life, it means that you have someone on your team, to help you deal with and manage the problems that life throws at you. You work together, as a TEAM. That's what love is.

If you are seeking that initial excitement - those butterflies - you aren't going to get them again for the same guy. And this is one reason why a lot of girls sleep around and rack up a big body count - they get addicted to those butterflies and as soon as they are gone, they dump the guy and find a new one so they can feel them again. But that lifestyle comes at a HUGE price, and the bill doesn't come due for a while, but when it does, women HATE having to pay that price. Unfortunately, they can't get out of paying.

So, be careful what you wish for.

Emiliamazing · Accepted Answer

It would seem that you were a great distance apart in terms of miles, but taking a time out from your day to discuss how that original spark happened, would be a great starting point. That's how we handle it, there are times when I am gone forever a week if not two weeks out of every month, and it starts to wear on our relationship, so we take a time out from our busy days and speak to each other about what we miss.

weysally · Accepted Answer

talk to each other, ask if there is anything either of you can do to brighten it up, I can't really speak for men, but if she is wearing a lively dress, don't just say you look nice, say something like, not only do you look lively but sexy as well, women like that, for me I would buy myself something sexy, and parade it,

Pinay_ako · Answer

Do something different together. Spend time apart. Find yourselves again. Realize and remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place. Soul search.

DaySpring · Answer

I believe you have to have a goal. @msputiton

Let me explain.
I was in love with a certain activity once.
Then I started to get bored with it.
The only thing that brought back the spark was growth or change within the activity.
Innovation had to be constant.

At the beginning of a relationship
people are enthused about what's coming (vision) and unfolding (vision).

Once it unfolds they need something new.
They need to add or expand on it.
It's hard to be hungry at the top of the mountain.
That's why you need another mountain.

At the beginning of the relationship their is a built vision (idea of how you want the relationship to be)
But once that vision is realized, new things have to be added to that vision.
That's my experience.
Life is only boring when one isn't growing/accomplishing new goals/exploring new worlds etc

It's like a person watching episode 1 over and over
It would typically be more rewarding to watch episode 1 then 2 then 3.
Or you could just go to another tv show all together never knowing all you had to do what turn to episode 2.

I don't know if people are so much bored of their SO or if it is their life they are actually bored of.

Those are my thoughts on the topic for now. They may change as I get more wise.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Do the things that made us fall in love with each other. For us, it was roadtrips to some cabins in the middle of the forests, bring small gifts for each other, watch the moviesvwe watched back then, do the goofy stuff we always do, make a goofy song, go out for new adventures, do the things that she loves like go to historic museums, travel to other parts of Sweden that we never been to, or other countries and so on.

Angelo75 · Answer

That butterfly feeling in your belly is because of some hormone that you get when you start falling in love.
It disappears after a while. There are articles out on internet about this.
Something about "chemistry of love" or so.

You can try doing stuff together. But not standard stuff that you usually do.
Go do GoKart. Go play bowling. Go do other stuff that u're not used to... TOGETHER.

But don't think that the butterfly/spark feeling stays forever like in movies.

hyperben · Answer

there is a trick here, works in most situations, not just relationship sparks, could be fitness motivation, diet, could be work, could be a family dispute, anything...

- look for the positive things and focus on them, remember the positive memories, try to push away the current negative feelings your situation is generating and focus more, much more on the positive things, the more we seek out the positives (small current ones and the bigger memories) the more our current mood lifts and we are able to be like a beacon of positivity and it will help the whole situation, make things less tense/awkward and make things more chill/easy going which generates a good positive feeling for everyone around, its not perfect but its a start to build from.

AddylynnNightingale · Answer

Trying new things. I don't know about you, miss Putiton but I don't like going on dates. But that's a new experience and you went on those to get to know the person. You went to hike, or a jazz club, a convention. I think treating it like date night is still going on and going on adventures together can light up that spark. People shouldn't settle because they're in a relationship.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Plan a getaway trip together. Get out of the comfort day to day routine and go somewhere for a vacation or at least a weekend. Allows for creativity and novelty as it’s just the two of you on an adventure in a new place meeting new people. Plan it together and enjoy the anticipation.

watercolor_lions · Answer

Try new things together
Spend a healthy amount of time apart/with other friends
Reminisce together about why you got together in the first place
Take a class together
Speak each other's love language deliberately
Celebrate what they do for you/celebrate them
Go to marriage counseling

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You don't.

Sparks are the catalyst in relationships, the ignition, they get shit started, they are not how you maintain a relationship, you need the steady burn for that.

You have to have the same hobbies and interests and views, and find eachother hot, if you don't have those things, you get no steady burn. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on what you mean by spark. If you mean that you two are in a bit of a rut, make some plans to do something fun together. If by spark you actually mean you lost that constant giddy butterfly feeling in your chest than that's normal. That's literally just anxiety/excitement lmao. It comes back in waves during special moments, like when something reminds you how much you love and appreciate them

dustybiker · Answer

Adventure. Get out there and challenge yourselves together. Experience brings people together.

Mark987 · Answer

That is million dollar question. I have a friend who had a child with his girlfriend.. they broke up for 6 months.. it really tore him apart, but they got back together and she is now more in love with him than ever. You need to focus on the person... give them as much attention... and make sure you do the small things..

Sixgunsound · Answer

Go back to basics, what got it going in the first place? Build from there. That and ask the other person what they think about it.

frognzl · Answer

I guess you gotta ask yourself what it is that lost the spark in the first place.
No one stays in the honey moon phase forever.
You just gotta go on dates and do cool exiting stuff together. Make a few Facebook posts whatever gets you going.

loveslongnails · Answer

What are the ages involved and how long have you been together?

Bethany22 · Answer

If you're only 21, just find somebody else who is excited about being with you

HaveNoName · Answer

That is normal for married life but it happens a little later in the relationship. Very difficult to bring the "spark" back but you have to work it out and keep going under other priorities of family life.

Zolly99999 · Answer

Get out of your comfort zone and try new things...😁😁

Stay-hungry · Answer

Communication  doing the things you both love  doing the things that brought you two together  being honest and romantic

exitseven · Answer

I heard hand puppets could help.

mohammed93alaa · Answer

There is no real thing called spark !

The reality is either you or your partner is bored , and see that its not worth it to continue in the relationship for various causes.. so cutting it off and just move on

magiusX26 · Answer

comedy answer: jumper cables real: it all starts with communication. so start talking to each other and actually listening too.

Anonymous · Answer

- The woman could aplogize for whatever made them lose the spark and try making it up to the guy.

-Eventually offer to do all the cooking and cleaning if he prefers not to have to do it.

-Maybe increase the amount of sex you have if the guy would like to.

Good luck :)

jimmy2 · Answer

Find forgiveness between each other, individualy and between God then clearly talk to each other what it means to be love by each other. Never know not just a spark but some exciting days ahead. Just talk and find what turns each other on

Anonymous · Answer

I have literally been trying everything recommended by professional
But the damage is done and I’m not putting in all the work anymore so I can say with confidence that if you both aren’t on the same page it’s probably not going to happen.

collie22 · Answer

i'm thinking doing something fun and different maybe out of your comfort zone would be exciting

es20490446e · Answer

By going out of home to new places, even if that doesn't involve spending money.

Voldra · Answer

The first step is both partys being willing.

krin_m · Answer

Talk to each other and try to rekindle the aspects of relationships that created the spark when you first met!

BLP11520 · Answer

My marriage is beyond repair. Oklahoma is not a great state to divorce in either.

Gooddaze · Answer

Communication. And sometimes let’s face it. It’s time to move on.

Anonymous · Answer

You forget about them and fuck someone else

maximumpower · Answer

Leave - and take all your stuff/$ with you. If that doesn't make the sparks fly, nothing will.

humanearth · Answer

Most times you can't

BJP21 · Answer

Open that mouth, start talking.

Iron_Man · Answer

Go to Europe travel somewhere fancy

Agape93 · Answer

I don't. That's when the relationship ends.

Debbie14217 · Answer

no idea not been there

Smartman5 · Answer

by romanticizing

Jennz6 · Answer

Do something special? Sexual?

jamartheg · Answer

By sleeping with other woman

Fuentes · Answer

It's done for me

MiseriaCantareAFI · Answer

Tantric sex

Anonymous · Answer

Break up with them!

How do you bring the spark back in a relationship that's lost it's spark?

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