So I’ve (30f) been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. He’s a great guy, we get along and rarely have disagreements. Long story short, he hasn’t shown me any type of intimacy in nearly 3 years. He has ED but won’t see a doctor. He’s been neglecting the intimacy that’s important to me in a relationship, and at this point, I feel like I’m living with my friend instead of my significant other.
July 2022, I told him how I felt and how I want the intimacy back in our relationship. Told him I felt like I’m just living with a friend since there’s no passion or intimacy of any kind (there’s some kissing, cuddling, I love yours, stuff like that. But nothing that makes me feel like he really wants me.) I asked him to see a doctor about his ED but he immediately shot down the idea, saying it won’t help and that “it’s not a priority for me right now. Im busy with school but we can focus on that in 2024 when I graduate.”. This made me feel like my wants/desires were completely disregarded and is like he has no desire to be intimate with me. I followed up on Sept 2022 again, expressing how I felt and he said “ok I’ll make an appointment this month”. That never happened.
I feel like he’s either fallen out of love with me or has someone else he’d rather pursue but I have no proof. It’s just so confusing and I don’t know how to handle it. I want to try and fix it but I’ve been so patient and have tried to support him, but nothings changed.
As for my best friend, I’ve known him for 14 years and we’ve been there for eachother through serious ups and downs in our separate lives. He’s the only person I truly trust and we go way back. I’ve had what I thought was a crush on him for a while now (5 years), but never acted on those feelings since he had a girlfriend. I’ve always pushed those feelings aside and assumed they’d go away but they just keep getting stronger. And now he’s single and I’m in a relationship, a rather unhappy one, and I don’t know what to do.
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