Help!!! How do stop needing a boy to complete me?

[Queenjacob34]

How can I stop worrying about boys rejecting me and just loving myself? How do I become that soft spoken women who is confident and doesn’t need a man to complete her? Because I feel like I need a boy to make me happy I’m so mentally and emotionally stressed and feel lost

[NamerOfStars]

Take some time and reflect- not only about the way your idealized (in this way, at least) self would feel, but about how she'd act. Your feelings, you only have so much control over; your actions, almost full.

You want a cute guy to love you and to love; that's only natural. What else do you want? To be able to juggle? To learn to fly? To stage the world's first rendition of Oklahoma! with an all-midget cast? Figure it out, and start working towards the goals you CAN achieve on your own. Some of them may be bigger commitments than you're able to make right now- becoming a surgeon, say- so do something in that vein that's a lesser draw; like volunteering at the hospital.

Life the kind of life you'd be content with without a partner, and you'll find yourself more psychologically able to stand on your own.

[Queenjacob34]

This was perfect thank you so much 💗

[NamerOfStars]

You're welcome! Remember that while a situation may make you FEEL helpless, it's very rare that you actually ARE.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You really got to work on self-validation. If you're not happy with yourself, you're not going to attract the type of man you really want... in fact they'll avoid you. You'll get what they call "fuck boys" but there are a lot of dudes that will see you giggling with that guy and write you off.

[Queenjacob34]

Do you know ways that I can practice self-validation that’s actually beneficial? Like something small to start off? I read some online however it’s a lot harder than it looks

[D_Bone_Steak]

You're gonna have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you did this, this, and that good today. I would say make a practice of making choices that are good for you. Small shit like hitting the weights when you didn't feel like it... or refusing a drink because you have rules. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but the type of guy most women want is eventually going to take notice... because trust me, they notice when you slip out the door giggling with the guy that does nothing but brag about banging chicks and treating them like shit. Kinda of hard not to notice that shit.

Be kind to yourself though and go to work for yourself. That's the first step to anything greater than yourself as it is now. You have to empower yourself. It could be something as small as getting your laundry done when you know you should. That's where it starts and you keep expanding until you are doing big things.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Bottom line... try to make sure you can look at yourself in the mirror and say you did a bunch of good things. We all fuck up here and there and do shit we're not proud of... Just keep moving on and put that shit in the past.

[AydenHazor]

Take some time to treat yourself to the things you like and pamper yourself and let yourself fall in love with you. Remind yourself if the things YOU like about you, treat yourself to a date night with yourself. You don't need a boy to be complete, that hyper romanticism is an example of dangerous social programming. You are enough in and of yourself, you just need to learn to love yourself and treat yourself well.

[Anonymous]

Use dildo...