How do I deal with my quarter life crisis? Where do I go from here?

[LonelyAndBig]

I am 28 years old and will hit the big 30 in less than 2 years. I was realizing today how life has passed me by so many times over. My youth feels like it is in the rear view mirror.

I was remembering today about being in middle school band and remembered my band teacher. I was curious and looked up the staff directory. I realized the school changed mascots and she was no longer there, nor hardly any of the teachers or principals that worked there. Most have probably retired by now.

To make matters worse, I have never had a real girlfriend before and have watched those whom I grew up knowing get married and have children of their own. Even those who I remember being much younger than me at the time are all grown up with kids. It is just mind blowing.

I don't have any friends, except for one who is in his 40s. I don't have any friends my age, but I am realizing most people my age have moved onto different chapters of their lives and are married with families of their own. Meanwhile, I am single, isolated, and lonely. I feel lost.

[Changiis07]

So let me start by saying you are not the only one who feels this way. There are plenty of men and women who are close to turning 30 and feel the same. You are not alone, and not everyone is sad about it. I am 34 and have not been married, dated a lot and have had a few boyfriends. I choose to not want to date at the moment because I am truly happy being single. Not everyone is meant to be married or have kids but if you want to do so there are plenty of single people EVERYWHERE you really just have to get out more and get comfortable socializing so that people of different ages can invite you out. As for myself I hang out with people my age, older and even younger. I love it because you learn things from everyone. You get to be the younger generations wisdom, you get to gain wisdom from older people and you can relate and be on the same page with people your age. So try to make an effort to get out more and be happy/content with yourself and you will attract more people. Church helps a ton too, people are nice and they have lots of volunteering programs

[burlen]

It's completely normal to feel lost and unsure about your future when you are experiencing a quarter-life crisis. It's a time when you may feel like you are not where you thought you would be, and the pressure to have everything figured out can be overwhelming. Recognise that this is a common feeling for many people in their late 20s, and there are steps you can take to navigate this period of your life.

First, identify the underlying causes of your quarter-life crisis. Is it a sense of feeling left behind, or perhaps regret for not pursuing certain opportunities? Are you feeling unfulfilled in your career, or struggling with relationships or social connections? Once you identify the root cause of your crisis, you can begin to take steps to address it.

One way to move forward is to set goals for yourself, both short-term and long-term. Think about what you want to achieve and what steps you need to take to get there. Break down your goals into achievable steps and work towards them consistently. This can help you feel like you have direction and purpose in your life.

Take care of your mental and physical health during this time. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, exercise regularly, and eat a healthy diet. Consider incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, into your routine to help manage stress and anxiety.

In terms of social connections, try to put yourself out there and meet new people. Join clubs or groups that align with your interests, volunteer in your community, or take a class in something you have always wanted to learn. This can help you make new friends and expand your social circle.

Finally, be patient with yourself. Remember that everyone's journey is different, and there is no one right way to live your life. It's okay to make mistakes and experience setbacks along the way. Focus on the progress you are making, and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

[Pegases]

It's often said that men age very gracefully, because a man becomes more attractive to the opposite sex as he becomes more established, which takes time. What you're about to enter is actually going to be the best time of your life as a man. All you need to do now, is prep for it, by becoming the best version of yourself. Taking care of your health by staying active, getting daily sunlight, meditate, learning a new skill such as boxing or dancing etc. You attract what you are in this world, so as you become a better you, people will naturally gravitate towards you. I would recommend watching videos by Joe dispenza and Emily Fletcher for the mindfullness aspect of what I just mentioned, Andrew Huberman for the wellness aspect. Good Luck

[petitedollbabee]

This isn’t a life crisis, this is just you becoming aware. Everyone goes through this at some point in their life. What YOU can do is change things. You are in control of your own life. You can’t change it overnight, but you can make small steps towards changing it every day. Pick up new hobbies, go to new places, meet new people, make new friends and potentially meet your first girlfriend. You will get nowhere if you just sit in your isolated shell and complain about your life. No one can change your situation for you.

[LonelyAndBig]

I am just hoping I can find a woman where we can be each other's first real relationship. One that has never had her first love to where we can experience that together for the first time. I want me and her to be each other's one and only and everlasting. It may be too late.

[petitedollbabee]

You are 28. That is a very unrealistic expectation. You’re not going to find a girlfriend with that mindset. Majority of people have a romantic or sexual past by your age.

[Bethany22]

At least since you're a guy, it's never too late to find a girlfriend. Many young girls love guys who are 20 years older than them.

[razelove]

Have kids, you'll have way more to worry about than yourself lol

[dynamicyandere]

Decide to become your own hero.


I had a moment like that when I got into a car accident where my car got totaled by a another car that ran a red light. My life could have ended.


From that point on, I wanted to strive to live my best life. And to live my best life, I knew I had to become my best self.


So, I started to work on myself in every way. My social skills, my body, my mentality, my relationships, my career, everything.


On this journey of becoming my own hero, I’ve attracted women. And the higher I climbed the better quality women I’ve been able to attract.


Work on becoming your best self, be open to making new connections, and everything else will fall into place.

[Anemone978]

Don't worry... panic is the worst thing you can do... I kind of had a midlife crisis last year. So you are starting to see and realize your life is passing you by.. now is the time you step up.. you are still young don't worry... if you have anxiety best thing you can do is get anxiety pills. Sorted me out completely I used to be scared to talk on the phone even, now I don't give a shit. So focus on yourself this year, make plans, start trying new shit, do things that scare you, just get out of your fucking house. Hit up old friends they might still like you, worked for me. Just get out of your comfort zone.. or you are gonna stay stuck and continue to miss out on life.

[warsevf]

I feel you brother, I am exactly on same boat, I won't give any advices as i am in the same boat, I still can't understand why I didn't have a girl that looks at me in that way, i am not that ugly but socially awkward. I cry almost everyday now wanting that pillow become a girl. I even imagine a girlfriend, its just me talking to myself. Having high sex drive doesn't help either

[LonelyAndBig]

Although it doesn't solve our problems and it does not make everything better, at least I know I am not alone in this battle.

[warsevf]

You are never alone bro, I live by thinking, there are people feeling real pain than my shitty whining. But I am socializing little by little, baby steps, it sucks, awkward and painful, constantly reminding. But one thing though, If i find one now, I can't even imagine the happiness i feel

[virtual_girl]

Accept you cannot go back in time. Be grateful you have the ability to learn from mistakes.

Make the most of thirties and achieve your goals. Better to feel like this at 30 than at 40.

[HaveNoName]

This will never change. Wait for the 3/8th life, mid life, 5/8th life, 11/16th life crises that will keep haunting you.