Is it unkind for a man to still stare at a female friend, look at her breasts, eavesdrop on her conversations and tease her when he rejected her?

[Anonymous]

In favour of another woman and even still he has a wandering eye? Like it’s not showing respect to his partner or his alleged ‘friend’. Would I be right in saying this?

[MrOracle]

Clearly, this is a single, straight man with a healthy libido - i. e., a typical man. He is NOT your "friend" because (outside RARE exceptions), such a man cannot be "just friends" with a woman he finds attractive. Even when there are outside circumstances, such as being co-workers, or you having dated a close friend of his, he's either got to keep you at a distance, OR he's going to be looking at you as a casual sex partner, and him hanging around you as a "friend" is just him biding his time until you give in and sleep with him. He's NOT a true, platonic friend. Men just aren't capable of that if they find you attractive.

AND, if a man is in that situation, where he's not getting sex, he's ALSO going to be looking around to see if he can find it elsewhere. That's normal.

I realize that as a woman, it's almost impossible for you to separate sex from love/emotional connection, but men absolutely CAN make this separation. When a man is in love with a woman, THAT sex is meaningful and important to him, but when he's single, sex is not sacred to a man - it's a simple need, like air and water and food and sleep - and he's going to get it wherever he can (assuming he can find a willing woman who is at least somewhat attractive to him). He does NOT need to have ANY feelings for that woman to want to sleep with her - for him, it's JUST sex. It's certainly enjoyable, like a great meal when you haven't eaten in 2 days, but beyond that, it needn't have any special "meaning" to him.

As I said, things are different when he's in love with a woman, but for men, that comes first. A man will know if he has strong feelings for a woman before he has sex with her - he doesn't need to have sex with her in order to know she is special to him. And it's those feelings that make having sex with HER special. But when he's single, he's going to meet a whole lot of women that he finds physically attractive, but doesn't have feelings for. Those women are not FRIENDS or even potential friends - men have no such category for women - they are simply women he wants to sleep with that he hasn't yet done so. And until he's with a woman that he has feelings for, all attractive women are potential sex partners for him.

This is the nature of being a man - men don't "act" this way, this is what men ARE. It's no different than women being better at reading people socially, or being more emotional and indecisive, or feeling maternal when you see an infant or kitten or puppy - you didn't ask to be that way, it's just the nature of women.

You can be an acquaintance with a single man - a person you are friendly with, but are mostly at a distance from, or you can be his casual sex partner, or his romantic partner, but you can't be close to him without him seeing you as a potential casual sex partner. That's just how it is. You either accept that and are okay with it, or you increase your distance and downgrade your relationship to "acquaintance." You can't change the nature of men, anymore than I can change the nature of women.

[Guy13]

Yeah, that’s just wrong and uncalled for.

[Allday4]

Yes…. like wtf lol