u 
A different date, another time, you find this:
When evaluating your potential compatibility for a long term relationship, how important is a person's tidiness/neatness/etc. vs. untidy/unkempt/not orderly?
I need someone human and down to earth.
So quite frankly I don't prefer either scenarios. I don't want a hoarder or toss it down wherever it lands and leave it until it molds over but I also do not care for an overachiever neat freak.
Honestly though the neat and spotless photos frightening me the most. I wouldn't be ok or comfortable with a guy picking me up in a freshly detailed car where I have to take my shoes off before I get in. (Yes I have been on a date where the man helped me in I had to sit first he took my shoes and cleaned the bottom and then set my foot down in his car)
See the overly clean pics above reads to me as a control freak obsessive compulsive stuck up a bit anal hard to get along with type of person... Or perhaps the neat freak car is just a front they went to huge extent to buff up the car to appear to be more than what they actually are 🤷 oh and I have seen where they barrow someone else's car to impress and have it detailed...
Now it doesn't mean I want to be picked up in a car covered in trash and moldy containers either.
Now I once was picked up by a man who layed a beach towel down on the entire seat so I wouldn't dirty my dress. In this case the car was dirty but not messy... See he was a hard working mechanic and in that case I was rather flattered he considered bringing me a towel. And I was pleased that he was being upfront about who he was...
I want someone who can understand there's times life happens but knows as soon as a small gap is given it's time to tidy up. I want someone who's real.
As shown in the pics above the houses look lived in with everyday normal use. The bed isn't perfect there's drinks on the coffee table some dishes in the sink toys on the floor in a play room. The cars look driven in with everyday sort of use. By the time I get home in my vehicle after work I may have two drinks in my cup holder and a wrapper or two that needs tossing. Plus my usual my work binder my lipstick and perfume sometimes mail or paperwork.
I don't need perfection I need human and down to earth.
I'll take the neat freak as long as he's not obsessive about a speck of dust getting on his car (my friend's husband literally obsesses over dirt getting on his car). The first 2 pictures would send me running for the hills and I'd want to burn my clothes after being present around that amount of filth.
An organized living states demonstrates and mind and a higher functioning and organized life in most cases. These things make huge differences in daily interaction and "feelings" towards the partner. I do not need a Dad/Mom picking up or complaining about me accompanied by a quiet resentment for not caring about home, self, or how these things project upon the Spouse.
Often, it is the reason for the negative feelings, break-up, and relief when that person is out of the other's surroundings...
I had girlfriend's like that and wife is orderly, especially w my help.
I can tolerate it, it's not a big issue to me, but it is a huge sign of emotional issues with women. Take it as a red flag and pay notice as their emotions or training is a mess and you are going to be dealing with her emotional mess. the rats under the clothes are "small potatoes".
Opinion
19Opinion
It’s pretty important.. especially if the goal is to find a potential living/life partner… It’s important that you’re compatible living together
I have a problem with total messy clutter. A little messy is fine with me. In fact, it drives me nuts when some people go for everything in its place and not a speck of dirt anywhere.
I love women who are neat, orderly, clean and tidy. It's a very feminine quality. I'm not anal about it. Leaving a few things lying around on occasion isn't a huge deal. But I can't imagine living with a partner who was a slob or living in a house that was a mess.
A clean, tidy house is soothing and relaxing. There is something to the old saying about a house needing a woman's touch. Not that I would leave it all up to her. I believe it taking responsibility as well.
If I met a girl like that, I would wonder about her upbringing and work ethic. I would also wonder about her chaotic mental state and even physical cleanliness.
Just remember, people who like things neat and tidy can be super controlling and naggy, but people who don't care can be super chill and easy to be around.
Which is why I don't judge people on how messy their shit is, but rather how well we get along.
I'm in between. These pix- on both "sides"- are the extreme, of course.
More importantly, if someone is going to "over save" (as I have been told I do), is there a valid reason for it? Well, my wife gripes about what I save, but when almost anything breaks, I'll have the spare parts and tools available to fix it. Also, I have added shelving to hold enough food and water somewhere in our domicile to keep us alive for at least 3 -4 months. In addition to covering catastrophe, it also helps smooth out the bumps in supply/demand/prices in our area, until an item is available at "reasonable" prices once again.
It is extremely important to neat and orderly while evaluating someone for a potential partner. They should know exactly what they want in a relationship and from their potential partner.
First they should know themselves very well, in terms of their thought process and their decision making skills. They need to also know their tolerance levels if it is high or low etc. If they know themselves only then they will be able to evaluate someone who might become their potential partner.
I’m messy af 😭
I need my partner to be tidy. We can’t both be a mess…
I just want to clarify though that my ex told me I’m messy NOT dirty. That car in the pic is dirty.
Everyone has their weaknesses though. I’ve met some amazing people.
I’m not ocd…I do like some order. I can get a little messy…I also put my stuff away.
The way they keeps their home/car tells me how they functions in life. So…it’s a sign to look out for.
I got a good one. And he is a great help/support in my life. 😊
It definitely would make a difference to me, I’m not crazy neat and orderly but my car is very clean and my room is clean but not really organized but not messy, just some clutter on things but nothing on the floor or clothes everywhere so I wouldn’t want someone really messy
It's very important no matter what the type your looking for. If it's friends with benefits you don't want to be doing it with them in cluttered and dirty places. This is say is more so for long term partners as you'd be living with them. If they are like that and it goes against how you are. Your the one who will end up doing most cleaning and tidying not splitting it and stuff like that.
I don’t mind either but I’m messy and the guy I’m dating will have to tolerate that so if he’s a neat freak or going to nag and complain about me being messy or not cleaning as often as he wants or to the standards he wants then that’s a no.
Just having less stuff does wonders. I'm kinda rich and just buying less stuff has changed everything.
Cleanliness is important. I think if the guy that I’m interested in is just messy not dirty then I’m fine as long as he knows I’m probably going to organize it all
It is of the greatest importance.
Women who create squalor around themselves are repugnant to men of quality.
I never really thought about it when I was young but my ex girlfriend that might have married me was a real slob. I really dodged a bullet
If his car would look like that pic, I wouldn't even get in and end it right there and then lol
I have a lot of anxiety about messy. Messy and a relationship just isn't going to work with me if I have to be around the person and in their environment.
I don't like too messy, but I do like a lived in place.
If I had 10 things in my evaluation list cleanliness would be in no 7. It might not be too important for me but I can’t live with a person who’s messy.
If the idea is co-living I'd say it's rather important. Long term doesn't necessarily mean living together though.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions