If you're just in a relationship but not living together, is it common to be disorganized?

[Anonymous]

My life at home is somewhat disorganized. Growing up, I was used to having an easy life and never really had to struggle with anything. I learned how to cook at the age of 30 and wasn't into baking until late 2019.

My room can sometimes be disorganized and my drawers somewhat messy (not too much though). My mother obviously thinks I should fix my habits. I always reply with an ''I have no kids to feed nor any real responsibility besides working, nothing else''.

My habits were temporarily fixed when my controlling ex boyfriend (he was bad in the end) would put ultimatums too much. However, I learned he was using me the whole time and I reverted back to my old former self again. I'm in my 2nd relationship but nope we're not living together and he hasn't seen my bedroom yet.

If you're just dating, not living together and are childless, is it normal to be somewhat disorganized?

[LimitedBenefits101]

30+ year old woman

[Asker]

I'm happy with my lifestyle. Why would I need to change? I have no real responsibilities, never had them.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Listen to your mother.

[Asker]

I have a hard time adapting to sudden changes and even worse if there isn't a real specific motivation.

[Asker]

For instance if I were pregnant then ok that would be a permanent motivation. Otherwise, changing just to change doesn't make sense.

[LimitedBenefits101]

So you will never change?

[LimitedBenefits101]

So just because you dont have kids you will continue behave this way?

[Asker]

I will but there has to be a real good reason, an impulse that would really make me rush into things.

[Asker]

My ex boyfriend tried to changed me but for the wrong reasons. He was using me for money. He wanted me to become a famous chef so he can take away half of my assets. He was after money and wealth, a user.

[Asker]

He almost succeeded until I found out what he was a monster so I reverted back to my normal self again.

[LimitedBenefits101]

And your new boyfriend, what do you think he will he say when he learns about your habits?

[Asker]

He doesn't know that. The only thing he's seen is a nice organized dinning room and I cooked on those couple presentation he had with my parents. He never saw nor walked into my bedroom.
I suppose if the relationship progress and I see us getting closer to our goals then yes I'll make the changes needed.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Alright, good luck👍

[maximumpower]

Nope.