What's a good term for our relationship status?

[CallMeDave]

My "girlfriend" and I have been dating for 3+ years and living together for 2+ years. It's a committed relationship very much like a marriage but after considering the pros and cons we have chosen by mutual agreement not to get legally married.

We don't particularly like the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" because they seem to us more like something for people in their teens or 20s than people in their 50s and we don't think they convey the depth of relationship that we have that is very much like being married but without that legal status. "Casual relationship" is the same. We're serious, not casual. "Husband and wife" are for legally married people, "fiancée" is for people planning to get married, "significant other" doesn't sound that good to me, and we think a lot of people interpret "partner" to mean a homosexual relationship so we really don't like any of those terms.

We're mostly using boyfriend/girlfriend, sometimes SO, but think there should be a new term for "major committed relationship without the legal status of marriage". Anyone know of an existing term or have good ideas for one?

[samhradh_leannan]

It sounds like you are probably domestic partners. It also sounds like you aren’t a fan of ANY preexisting term. So make up your own, I guess, if you don’t mind confusing people.

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years and have lived together for over a year. We’re very serious but we still just refer to ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. It is technically what we are.

[CallMeDave]

That's what we've been doing mostly but boyfriend/girlfriend could also apply to people on their third date and we feel like we're really more than that. Domestic partner is accurate, but I guess I'm just thinking that relationships like yours and mine are common enough that there should be a term for us like husband, wife, fiancée, etc. for other types of relationships.

[samhradh_leannan]

If you don’t like partner or SO, then you’re kind of stuck, unless you want to get engaged/married. Honestly though, does it matter so much for other people to understand how serious your relationship is just from what you call each other?

[UnaKaizen]

I think 'partner; is appropriate. life partner if you want to be more specific:)

it denotes marriage type commitment. its what people use when they do not want to or can not become married bc of legal obstacles. :)

[CallMeDave]

That's certainly our situation. We don't like just "partner" for a couple of reasons (including that she's self-employed so people might think partner means business partner if we're at some business-related event), but life partner is an option. I guess I'd still kind of like a single word that means that though like there's husband, wife or fiancée for people that are or are planning to be married.

[UnaKaizen]

hmm, im thinking...

:)

[CallMeDave]

If you think of something good, you can get credit for coining a new useful word and can tell all your friends when it gets added to the dictionary in a couple years. :)

[UnaKaizen]

hmm, some ideas. not necessarily for use, but to brain storm.

I like co-vivant (A man and a woman who live together without getting married.) bc its easy sounds nice & indicates marriage type feelings. bc you're together but not married. not together but not in love etc.

:-)

* fera, gefera – companion, one who goes through life with you
(fera from ferian … to carry, convey, journey [ferry])


* simbelgefera – constant companion


* >wyngesith – pleasant, joyful companion


* > wilgestealla – willing companion (wilgesteald – a desirable possession)


* headmatch, headmate – mate, companion


* wilgehletha – intimate companion


* “Lebensgefährte” (life companion)

* “loving companion”,

* co-vivant

* paramate

* lifemate.

[CallMeDave]

I like covivant or lifemate. Fera/gefera might be good too. It looks like those are already words though so no fame for you on those. :) Just an Xper point for my thumbs up, maybe 7 more for an MHO if no one else has a better idea, and my gratitude for expanding my vocabulary. :)

Most of the others seem too hard to pronounce or spell.

I'm not sure we can use your ideas because most people wouldn't know what we meant by covivant or gefera, but maybe we can start using them and educate people on those words.

Thanks for putting serious thought into my question!

[UnaKaizen]

yeah i figured most are not useable-- but could provoke thought.. and yes, lol sadly i can not take credit for ANY.-except for rertreiving them.

;-)

i like soul mate or better half -though i guess its hard to say that completely straight faced bc there's some humor to it. you want a straight forward word. i think life mate is decent. not fancy or snazzy but perfectly clear& respectable.

[CallMeDave]

Yes lifemate is basic but accurate. Covivant is fancier and the definition I found for it describes our situation but most people wouldn't know what it means. (I didn't until you pointed it out to me.) I think I've decided that's my favorite but I probably won't use it because too many people won't understand it. It's good to know that there at least is a word though. Thanks!

[UnaKaizen]

thats my thinking too. i like covivant best but for international comprehension id go with lifemate, though in my case i might not care so i choose covivant an leave a trail of friends looking it up in the OED ;)

[CallMeDave]

LOL. Maybe if we both start using it and enough people look it up and like it then its usage will expand and it can become a common word.

Then even if you don't get credit for coining it you can get credit for making it popular. :)

[UnaKaizen]

ok deal !

[UnaKaizen]

i an turn it into a t shirt-that should help you. my sister makes them. any logo i want :)

[CallMeDave]

LOL. Are you thinking like a dictionary entry printed on the shirt? Maybe with arrows pointing to one side or the other saying "She's my covivant" and "He's my covivant" so we can walk side by side with the arrows pointing at each other?

[Kydill13]

Partner or spouse. Spouse does not mean husband and wife, means you’re in a committed (common law) relationship.

[tattooedhandfet]

LTR
AKA
Long
Term
Relationship

[CallMeDave]

We use that sometimes for describing the relationship, but what do we call each other? Or are you suggesting I introduce her to people as "my LTR"? I think "my Long Term Relationship" is too long so I don't think I'd use that.

[tattooedhandfet]

Girl

[Anonymous]

My significant other or life long partner is all can really come up with

[weirdwriter79]

I call you two-a locked up relationship forever.

[CallMeDave]

LOL. I guess that's accurate, but it's a mouthful to say when introducing each other to someone.