It is only an issue if one person is financially dependent on the other. Both people should be able to make enough money they can live completely independently. However it’s not a problem if the poorer person enjoys but doesn’t depend on (nor takes for granted) the richer person.
So for example. Let’s say I make $75k a year and my girlfriend makes $150k. I can make it own my own with rent, basic necessities, etc. However we could live together in a luxury apartment and go on nice vacations with her salary. Nothing wrong with that if she just wants to enjoy our time together
It would make me slightly queasy at first tbh but I could get over it (there is some male pride still) I know if she dumped me I could survive on my own. I don’t depend on her to pay bills. I also wouldn’t have to tolerate bs like she owned me because she doesn’t. But if times are good then times are good. No shame.
However what I have a problem with are women who date men who have money, accept all the financial perks and have the audacity to complain about being “objectified” and other crap. Like they still deserve respect despite being near worthless mooches. The cold truth is they are just long term prostitutes in that scenario. They have only one thing to bring to the table (their bodies) in exchange for one thing they only want (money). They have zero room to complain in that scenario.
Meaning, her career can't be her top priority. I wouldn't have dated a woman who traveled for work or worked 60 hours a week and one who would not quit when we had kids. She was able to go back, of course, once they were of school age but if she expected daycare to raise our kids then she wasn't wife/mother material.
Women have ALWAYS worked. Who do you think were the nurses and school teachers and secretaries and seamstresses and things all throughout the last 200 years? They did other things to and many woman didn't have kids. Some mom's were stay at home moms for their entire marriages but women have always worked.
Feminism has just gotten women to prioritize their careers over their families and talked a lot of women out of even having families.
I don't begrudge her for having a job she likes or for making money. I would just have never dated a woman long term who made her career her number one priority in life and expected a marriage or kids to come 2nd place to her job.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
2 mo
It wouldn’t bother me, I don’t think. I don’t think it would upset my fiancé either. If he’s ambitious and working hard; (as my fiancé is) then it would only be temporary until he gets a position where he could support me to take care of our kids. I’d get if it offended him but I’d just have to take care to let him still feel needed.
I think it’s fair if a guy doesn’t want a woman out earning him; just say that. A lot of the dudes in these comments are trying to avoid saying that while also saying that and it’s painfully disingenuous and annoying. Trying to hold onto their precious masculinity (which is good!) but done in a shriveling and cowardly way where they feel the need to excuse themselves for being men.
When a woman sleeps around she is a slut but we can’t call her a slut or we get targeted. I was banned from Facebook for 30 days for calling a slut a slut. If we voice our true unadulterated opinions were castigated. I don’t really care if some random nobodies get pushed at me but it’s not considered smart to basically pick a fight. Men have to tiptoe around women’s feelings and even more so these days with society being so feminized.
Not only this but many people these days lack the ability to think their thoughts and feelings through to conclusion. All some of them men understand is women earning more money bothers them but they don’t know why. The truth is it’s a hit to most men’s pride but also most men don’t want women with the personality required to reach such heights.
@VanillaSalt if they’re gonna tiptoe then I don’t think they really have the right to be too upset if they can't even be honest about their convictions through an anonymous site (which it’s pretty anonymous even if they use their pfp) I’ve been targeted for my opinions and beliefs from both sides but I don’t really care to be too tactful unless it’s in real life with people I have to deal with on a daily basis lol. Women don’t like cowardly men who want traditional women yet want to be modern men themselves it’s a hella pathetic wave of Andrew tate incels who are little difference from being parallel to feminists just for men instead. It’s gross 🤢 Like if a man didn’t work hard or apply himself and only made 40k a year but then wanted to bitch if his wife made 60k. Like dude you aren’t doing shit to make it so she can stay at home so stfu lol. Factory jobs pay 50k off the bat for most of them and a lot of trade schools are cheap and pay more than that. Or they’ll pay for nursing degrees a lot of times too and my dad makes over six figures now in less than ten years of it. It’s just pathetic whiny men who act like the worst kind of annoying women. (I say it’s Feminine, but it’s annoying to me when women tiptoe and act passive aggressive and won’t speak their feelings either)
So because they don’t tell you what they want they don’t have a right to want it and refuse anything that’s not what they want?
Smart people don’t actively try and start shit.
Your take on men wanting to be modern but expect traditional isn’t accurate. Two things can be true at the same time… Men want traditional women. Some men are willing to be traditional to get a traditional wife. But regardless, what we WANT and what is available are not always the same. I can’t help but think how… stupid? women are these days. There are so many women angry men aren’t good enough for them but they refuse to be good enough for the men. The average weight of women in the United States is 175lbs today… If you ladies want a traditional man you gotta be traditional yourselves but most don’t seem to. Sleeping around, obese, no morals or respect. If the average woman is modern you can’t expect the average man to be traditional.
Not only that but “where have all the men gone” is a hilarious question. I blame women… I can only blame women. You have the ability to choose whom you sleep with but you make bad choice after bad choice. Okay I can understand making mistakes but I’ve been actively dating for a few years now and have had such few opportunities to show my stuff I question why I bother. I’m a good man that fails horribly at advertising myself. I’ll take that one but your failure to see men’s value is completely on you women. I’m sorry I’m not what your looking for but neither were these other guys. At least I would treat you with respect. Understanding that you women are 100% to blame for dating being what it is today.
i think so... and there's just no solution for that because you simy can't make another human beinh hold their life for yoy. it is simply unfair. but in my country we have a lot of OFW my mama included and not once i remember my mama made my papa felt that he isn't the man in the house. i hqave also not felt that mu papa is less than my mama.
No, that wouldn't bother me. It would bother me if she made that difference painfully obvious. That would be a problem. But just in general, absolutely not. I really don't care.
So if she were someone with money, who lived in an opulent way I guess is what I'm mostly getting at.
It's a problem if I'm constantly left thinking "shit... If I wasn't with her, I could never afford something like this." Or "if I wasn't with her, there's no way these other people here would have any time for a guy like me"
So really, it's anything where her money buys her access to opulence way beyond what I would ever be comfortable with. It's even less comfortable when it's not your own money which allows you access to that world.
Another way, would be if I felt like the difference in income meant she was being held back. So, if she usually goes on a 3 month safari every winter. I'm not gonna be doing that. I don't want her to feel like she's giving up things she would otherwise enjoy, for the sake of "coming down" to my level.
See, so it's a problem if she wants to buy me all the kit and accessories so my-ass can join her on her yearly 3 month safaris (for the first reason I gave). But it's also a problem if she gives up the safaris because I don't want to go.
I think I just can't have someone who is so rich that their life or lifestyle is fundamentally different from my own. Because this super-rich hypothetical chick can't win! I think I just need a girl who doesn't go on the safaris... even if she happens to make enough money that she could.
So you mean you just don’t want her to use the money she works hard for? I thought maybe you just meant you don’t want her to be blatantly disrespectful… just be honest and say you wouldn’t want a woman who makes more lol. Even if she makes the same; you couldn’t afford the things she buys herself while also all your regular items. It’s ok to want to feel depended on but be honest with yourself 🤷♀️ Modern relationships are cool but I intentionally do as much in the house so my fiancé will feel reliant on me as I am on him. It’s healthy to have a relationship where you both feel valued and like you bring something to the relationship. If you don’t want a modern relationship where you can also help out half way in the house; that’s cool. Have finances be your niche… but make sure you make enough to support a woman and kids if you want those too.
@tiajoka You are... seriously misunderstanding my position here. I'm not sure whose fault that is, or if it's willful or accidental. My whole point is that I do not want to feel dependent. I don't understand what in the fuck you're even talking about.
You're right that I don't particularily want a woman who makes so much more money than I do, that she lives in a different social strata. That's... true, and I pointed that out myself.
As for the rest of it. Did you read somebody else's answer and reply in the wrong box? Or what? I don't even know how anyone could possibly have constructed... whateverthefuck you've put together here. But... This does not logically follow as a response to what I said here. I can't even begin to correct it... because it's... all wrong. Wow.
@Unknown29 nah it’s perfectly fair. I’d be more attracted to a man who makes more than me. Most women like to be taken care of in that way; just like most women like to take care of their husbands at home. It’s just so cowardly to dance around it and pretend otherwise lol; unless a person does feel otherwise in that case it’s fine too people are dif
@tiajoka I’m glad to hear that. It’s kinda the same thing that women are more comfortable with taller men (at least most of them). I’m attracted to feminine women.
@Unknown29 eh, a man’s height doesn’t really determine his masculinity to me. I’ve known 5’4 guys who were stronger than me (I’m 5’9) and I’m a pretty strong chick. My fiancé is 6’6 and not too much stronger (he started working out again after I proved that 💀) I’ve been with guys of all heights; there’s pros and cons to each of them. Most women do like a man an inch or three taller but it’s mostly incels saying women only want a dude 6’2 plus lol. Most don’t care so long as he’s a little taller at least and most tall women don’t care even if he’s shorter. So long as he’s taking care of himself and well adjusted, a leader… that’s plenty masculine for me. 🤷♀️
Guys just don't like material girls/gold diggers. I don't know why this is so hard for so many women to understand. Guys are in the relationship for the relationship not for the money. We like the quality time, conversation, companionship, intimacy, loyalty, mutual respect, helping each other out/acts of service, etc. Its all about the person not what they own... For too many women it's all about the financial transaction and men simply just don't like prostitutes. Simple enough right? So if he has more financial wealth than you, don't show off your greedy shitty side and try to use him for his financial resources. If you make more than him, don't make it an issue and act like it is important for him to be more ambitious and earn more money to keep your greedy ass around so you can feel validated because you feel like a high pay prostitute. If you want to be a prostitute then go be one. Hit the bricks. Don't act like you want to be in love with someone, if the only thing on your mind is money. Keep it honest.
It's not that MEN have a problem with the women out-earning him per se - men tend to be pretty practical about money - it's that men know what happens to WOMEN when they out-earn men.
Many, many studies - including several from very feminist publications, such as Jezebel, have shown that WOMEN are (generally - of course individual exceptions exist) unsatisfied with their partners if the woman out-earns the man, even when he's a high-earner. Women are hypergamous and always expect to date UP, so if they become "better" than a man in some way where they expect HIM to be "better", they grow unsatisfied and assume they can do better (that's often false, but you won't convince the woman of that, because she will FEEL that she can do better, regardless of any evidence to the contrary).
One study showed that women divorce their husbands at a rate of 90% within 2 years of their pay exceeding their husband's. You could maybe say that 10%, or even 20% of men just weren't working hard enough or could have had a better job but didn't, but even then, how do you explain the other 70-80% of the time when women ended a marriage? It obviously wasn't due to a lack of money - most of the time, it was hypergamy (the woman wanting a man better than her).
This is one of several reasons why men tend to not be interested in dating (much less marrying) women who out-earn them: in most cases, it's going to destroy the relationship, and the family, if one exists.
A woman making more money than men does not bother men. The problem is that
1. Women who make more money than men rarely give men a chance that make less than them. This was confirmed in 2011 study than spanned over several decades, showing the marriage patterns of men and women.
2. Usually women who can out earn guys tend to be in very male dominated fields and lose a lot of their femininity. They tend to be more masculine than feminine and don't act submissive towards their man.
3. Another problem is that when women make more money than them, the marriage tends to break down fast and the relationship crumbles. It's been long reported that a woman giving an increase in her salary was a predictor for divorce. So imagine, if the woman makes more than the man.
4. Women tend to abuse their male spouse and hold over their heads that they make more money than them in order to demoralize/antagonize them. This often comes out very often in couples fight. Men tend to do this much less and don't use the fact they make more money than their spouse against them.
I think it depends on her attitude concerning that because I think I could live with that as long as she respects me and doesn´t give me the feeling of she´s making more so my life and work is less important. I can´t therefore say I wouldn´t but it depends on her attitude. The problem for me is that in modern Western society the worth of a job is also defined by the amount of money a person makes by doing it. So I don´t need to make more or way more than her but I surely wouldn´t date a woman that made way more than me.
No cuz I am perfectly capable of supporting myself , without her income, so it wouldn’t bother me if she made more and it didn’t bother me she made more , I’d actually be happy for her and make it clear to her that I am with her for her not because of her paycheck. I dated girls that made More than me and money and it was never an issue , cuz I work as well , she would buy me more things then I’d buy her , but I would tell her to stop it cuz I don’t need anything , the thought was nice but save your money for other things , I am very content with what I earned and achieved , If you want to make me happy , come in naked holding a beer that’s priceless 😋
This is the future of all relationships. Society is becoming increasingly gynocentric, politicians promise more and more benefits and right to women to gain the female vote and win the election, women get preferential treatment by corporations, HR departments are dominated by women who will show in-group preference, women get faster promotions and dominate CEO positions making thousands more than their male employees. More and more women out-earn men with minimal work. Good luck to any man finding a woman today who will make less than him.
I THINK, from what I've seen, only times it really bothers them is when women rub it in their faces and make them feel as if they're inferior for not bringing more.
I make almost twice as much as my boyfriend. He knows this. I technically don't need his financial support at all. But he still pays his fair share of expenses and I appreciate him for that
I mean, who would not find it offensive if it is rubbed on his/her face, right? It is not a matter of gender here. Both feel the same way when their partner behaves like that.
That's true. I'm coming more from the idea that men are raised to provide for their families. That they're supposed to be the bread winners. And that this couldbe a bit more of a sensitive subject for men more so than women
It would not bother me at all. If she made a ton of money, then I could retire early, take care of all the cleaning, pets, etc. and make sure her dinner is ready when she gets home. Maybe make lunch and bring it to the office, help out wherever I can.
Will she think she is better for having more money? Will she have a condescending attitude? Will she think that entitles her to making the decisions? Will she contribute equally financially? Will she be upset when all of her hard work for a career means NOTHING to a man, and her looks and how she makes him feel matters MUCH more than anything she could ever contribute financially will?
Logically it shouldn't matter and at various times during a working life the income of a partner may vary. If you are a contractor there just might not be any contracts.
It seems to matter to women. On one channel I listen to an academic physiologist made a point that high income earning women still wanted a partner that earn't more than they did. That wasn't just assertion as there was a study backing her statement.
I make enough now to cover my bills, incidentals, and have fun, along with a 401k and a great insurance plan through the company I work at where I'm content with my current salary. I wouldn't mind a relationship with a woman that earns more, provided she didn't lord it over me.
I guess I would feel somewhat inadequate. I would feel she would eventually resent me for not being more competent and capable. Most women wouldn't want a guy who makes less than they do, right?
I feel like most men don't care, but what bothers them is when they're being disrespected OR when the woman uses that as an excuse for certain behavior. But that's just my opinion.
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