Does the fact that a man (lover) doesn't plan for the future mean he's not thinking about the future with you?

Question

He does not like to plan for the future. This is how he thinks in everything, not just in a love relationship. He says we cannot know the future. Yes that is right. Nobody knows the future. If a man shows his love to the one he loves, cares, but doesn't plan for the future, does it mean he's not thinking of a future with you?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I understand that it can be concerning when your partner doesn't seem to plan for the future, especially when you care deeply about the relationship. It's important to remember that people have different ways of approaching life, and it doesn't always reflect their feelings or commitment towards their loved ones.

Your partner may be demonstrating his love and care for you in other ways, and it's important to acknowledge and appreciate those gestures. It's also possible that he believes in living in the present and enjoying the journey together, rather than focusing solely on the destination.

It's natural to seek reassurance and security in a relationship, so having an open and honest conversation about your feelings and expectations with your partner is essential. Share your thoughts about the future and listen to his perspective with empathy and understanding. This will help you both grow closer and strengthen the bond between you.

Remember, the most important thing in any relationship is love, trust, and effective communication. By respecting each other's viewpoints and working together, you can navigate the complexities of life and create a beautiful future together.

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

He seems the kind that is totally in the present and has his life-skills on a streetsmart setting. If there's a problem he'll wing it and it goes away one way or the other. An optimist.
Not sure if this is anywhere near who you think he is.

But it might just be that from his experience it's been easier to not control everything but let things solve themselves, simplisticly.
When or if something breaks and it's hard to fix, maybe he just always has options, so he never learn to hold on?
Sometimes all the skills or attributes you need are so ingrained in who you are that you just think more shallow and worry less for the future, maybe he hasn't had the need to think ahead but more think on his feet.

So.. How does it relate to you?
Could be that he just hasn't thought ahead and that he is living it day by day. In thst case it's really not personal but your relationship will be measured in the amount of drama he'd be willing to endure.
Tell me does he make an effort to resolve argument with you? If you have any. You said you were lovers, right?

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't ask directly but I would talk about your future including him in this hypothetical future. If he takes it with interest and encourages your way of thinking, I would consider he is interested in future with you. If he doesn't want to hear that and he discourages this kind of discussion, it's just temporary from his reference point.
The other positive point, you can plant an imagination in his mind if you're eloquent enough and power of imagination can be very powerful.

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

It's is suspicious... I mean yeah we don't know the future and I also don't really like planning to much for the future but still I will be like "Oh it would be so cool if we together could do that one time" etc

Avicenna · Answer

Maybe, It could mean he doesn't think about the future in any aspect of his life

TalynMere · Answer

It is futile to extensively plan for the future. All you should really do is maintain a model o what you want out of life. You can intjiviely navigate life successfully, without trying to prepare for every little thing.

Just because he says he doesn't literally plan anything though, doesn't mean he's not thinking of rules/patterns/contingencies for all sorts of scenarios so he can react if there becomes a need.

It's very difficult to explain properly because jts a very abstract concept. Trying to plan for the future also sort of constrains your future and hides countless opportunities. Your boyfriend may actually be very very smart, or he may be a himbo, it's hard to tell from this alone.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

Not necessarily.

Just because a man doesn't plan for the future doesn't always mean he isn't thinking about the future with you.

There can be any number of reasons why a man doesn't plan for the future that have nothing to do with how he feels about you.

For example, he may be focused on his career right now and not sure how his plans might fit in the future.

It may also be that he has trouble making a long-term commitment due to past experiences or uncertainties in his current life.

However, if you are in a serious relationship and looking for a long-term commitment, it is important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your expectations and future plans.

If your partner's lack of plans makes you feel insecure or uncertain about the future of your relationship, it's important to address it and find a solution together.

MrOracle · Answer

You answered your own question: this is not how he thinks about anything. His lack of future planning isn't directed at your relationship - it's just who he is. This is something that should have been easy to discover about him early on. But, anyway, it's who he is and who he has always been.

You have to decide if you can accept this or not, and if not, it means the end of the relationship.

ColHathi · Answer

Maybe? I don't know to what extent he doesn't like to plan ahead, but he sounds kinda like me in this regard, and I don't think it has to be a bad thing. If he's not thinking of a future with you, he's probably also not thinking of a future without you.

I'm wondering if maybe you're overthinking this?

Anonymous · Answer

He doesn't think about the future. At all. You have nothing to do with this. If you weren't there, he wouldn't think about it. If you were there, he wouldn't think about it.

It has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. There is no imaginary other girl that would make him plan for the future with her.

It has nothing to do with you.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Not necessarily. It could just be that he doesn't have any plan in life and doesn't think about the future at all.

I know that I'm in a life situation where I'm not really thinking about my romantic future at all at the moment.

fonduegirl · Answer

It depends. Does he not talk about future with you at all?

noohair · Answer

Men have a caveman part of the brain that is only thinking about the hunt planned for tomorrow.

Anonymous · Answer

Most men are flaky at the best of times. They rarely know what they want.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Red flag. He's not a serious person. Do not date him.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Is his mantra "carpe diem"?

Anonymous · Answer

Men don’t think about that shit

Anonymous · Answer

Id say that's quite possible.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Nope.

clampfan101 · Answer

It could be A or B.

Does the fact that a man (lover) doesn't plan for the future mean he's not thinking about the future with you?

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