I’m 11 weeks pregnant and I was in a relationship and he said he’d help and we done everything together and had a flat planned he was doing the right things etc. he’s now turned around and said he dosent wanan be there, he’s gonna move countries, he’s gonna change his number and I’m so upset. He was so happy at first and now he’s changed on me and he’s resenting me for it I keep the baby. I always said I don’t know if I’m capable alone being a single mom with 0 help and support, I’ve seen scans and I really care about this baby already but I’m frightened. When I wake up and smell the coffee I realise there’s so much money involved and I’m not living for me anymore. Even know the baby isn’t born I feel like I’m not living for me. But I care about the baby and I know I could do it if I tried but I just am so stressed out I don’t know if I can. I’m 21 and I have 0 siblings and 0 life experience of anything I’ve always just been handed things to me which I’d probably bad. I’m scared like I’m so scared. Is this natural to feel this way? I’m just scared what if I don’t feel a bond straight away with the baby? My boyfriend said he’s suicidal about it all what if he goes and does something?
I’m pregnant and I don’t know if I can do this?
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1 y
I’m such an emotional girl too I’m just sensitive and everyone’s always said I’m young minded and can’t do it, I was so excited and now since he’s left I feel SCARED and petrified
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2Opinion
Yeah don’t give a fuck about what he says. Tell him when/if he’s ready to man up and be a father he can contact you and if not he’ll here feom court when you’re suing for child support. And that’s it, don’t reply to anything that is not directly related to the child and pregnancy, and I’m not talking about abortion I’m talking don’t teply to anything that’s not asking how the pregnancy is going, if the baby is here, if he can see the baby etc. Anything else you ignore and don’t let him manipulate you into anything else. If he want to move to a different country or off himself then that’s on him, not your fault and not your issue. It’s all desperate attempts to get his will through though that’s all. And yes it’s normal to be scared when you’re about to have a baby, especially for the first time, but it’ll be fine. You can absolutely do it. Stop focusing on your baby daddy and start preparing as if you’re in this alone. Try to get a job if you don’t already have one (no, you absolutely do not have to tell them you’re pregnant), get a place to live if you don’t have one and start saving money. As much as you can, not only to help you through the baby stage but start saving as much as you can (get a second job if needed) for when the baby gets older to so you don’t have to struggle as much if you have an unexpected expense or need to buy Christmas/birthday gifts or whatever. Buy all the baby gear (except car seat, that should be new because you don’t know if they crashed it and if so it’s not safe anymore) and clothes second hand like on market place instead of buying new. That’ll save you a lot of money that you can put into savings instead. Also don’t buy too much, you don’t need as much as you think and for example your baby may hate strollers or cribs and refuse to sleep in there so you don’t need to buy lots of stuff until baby is here and you get a feel for how they are. My oldest kid refused his crib so it was used like 2-3 nap times, never nights, ever = waste of soace and money. He also refused his stroller and only wanted to be held or carries in a sling. And yes you can do it alone and you’ll be fine, you already love your baby. I have 3 kids 3 and under on my own and have been single with them from day one too. Even given birth alone (which was fine by the way, the nurses were amazing and one of them stayed with me in my room holding my hand and massaging my back throughout the entire labor).
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I'm sure you'll do just fine and be a great mother. I'm glad you're thinking about the baby. Guys can go away, but that baby is a part of you that you're creating. Money, everything costs, but having a child is something that money can't buy. You will do great, I'm sure of it. Just the way you talk about how much thought you're putting into this and how much you love your baby already says a lot. 💛
Sue his ass for child support.