Would you ever cheat?

[Anonymous]

This is a non-judgemental zone.

Be completely honest and explain your circumstances.

The reason I’ve been inspired to ask this question, is because my friends (here on GAG!) seem to be meeting a lot of cheating women!

And it’s CRAZY.

I think when I was younger I would’ve cheated mildly.

For instance if my boyfriend was ignoring me during my teenage years, I would text back and flirt with a guy.

Now that I’m older I would definitely not cheat, simple because it’s wrong.

In fact, in my last relationship a few months ago I was very miserable but I even stopped using GAG or spoke to my guy friends.

[DaveJord]

So the opposite is true for me. I mean when I was younger, I never would have cheated. And I never did cheat, well... not technically.

At 20 I was dating my now ex-wife. So as these types of relationships go at that age, we argued and fought over something dumb. And we didn't technically breakup, but we were not technically dating, so I hooked up with another girl for week or so... then my ex-wife and I decided to start dating again and we got married and that marriage lasted 22 years. So technically I never cheated, never told my ex-wife and lied to her about it. But she had some questionable things going on as well.

But marriage was constantly and up and down with some good highs, and seriously terrible lows but for 22 years I stayed true to her, and honestly, I stayed in the marriage and tried way harder than I should ever had to have tried to. Honestly, she never dissevered the effort I put into it for as long as I did.

So, there was chances I had to cheated, and I never did, and now that I am divorced, I ask myself from time to time what if I had? Would things of been different or better for me? I mean she did cheat on me, apparently, she did I found out after divorce and my kids knew and never told me. They caught her, and she bullied and intimidated them into never telling me.

Since divorce I have dated some woman, that had seriously questionable "GUY" friend relationships, and even though you can't prove anything you just know when it doesn't feel right. Like the ex-wife.

Now I never cheated, but honestly, the modern day me would probably do it if the circumstances where right. Because honestly no woman in my life so far in the last 25 years has proven to me, they truly deserve a man like me. One way or the other they lose their shit and give up on the process.

But with all honesty, if I ever truly did find a real true and genuinely kind and good woman, that knows how to treat a man right, and truly appreciate a good man, for being a good man, who treats her right... then yeah, no way would I ever cheat. That would never be a problem to me seriously, the idea of cheating on a good person would never be a consideration.

But these women I have dated, yeah, I would cheat on them at some point, once you know they are full of shit you just keep the relationship going for the sex at some point... until it doesn't even become with it for the sex.

[Asker]

Wow I’m sorry you had to go through that! You’re definitely too good for women like that. I hope to meet a man like you one day.

[Rosexøxø]

Apologies Dave. That’s an incredulous story. 💯

[DaveJord]

Thanks !

[DaveJord]

Appreciate that ladies

[KostasKouvalis]

As I haven't had much experience in dating, I honestly can't say if I would I wouldn't. Of course I'm hoping I wouldn't. I've felt guilty before for flirting with other girls even when just crushing, but then at the same I'm like you. If I'm not getting attention or having my needs satisfied, whether they be sexual or emotional, I'll start seeking out other people, and a lot of the time I end up just having to give up. But there are certain times where I also crave a specific thing, but I'm like that with EVERYTHING.

I am often afraid though that if I don't get everything I need to out of my system, I won't be able to stay loyal to one woman. I would hope nor, but most people my age have already gotten everything out of their system by now. But I'm mainly talking about sexual things here. Unless I end up with a girl who's a freak in bed or at least very open minded, I'm not sure if I won't go seeking out more.

Lack of sexual compatability is actually the biggest reason relationships fail and people cheat. My dad has cheated on my mom on multiple occasions for this reason. He had sexual needs that she wouldn't satisfy. Though knowing him, I feel he would still cheat even if she did. And I notice that I have picked up a lot of his bad habits.

I saw a study years ago that said humans aren't naturally monogamous and the average human gets bored with their partner after 12 years.

I definitely think new make-up/style and trying new things in bed helps maintain interest.

But yes. I had no idea just how many women cheat, until I joined GAG. Granted, most of them draw the line at physical sex, but I feel sexting and sending nudes isn't that far off.

[smashleyy]

I wouldn’t cheat *now* but I have been on both sides prior. The one being cheated on and doing the cheating. I actually learned a decent amount from both.
1. Being a cheater feels 10x worse then getting cheated on (at least for me) cause I trampled all over my own beliefs and morals and stooping to the same low level made me no better
2. Don’t attach your self worth to the actions of others cause If someone cheats on you and you know you’ve done nothing to cause that betrayal then their actions have absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves and something they are lacking. rather that be fear of stillness/stability, watched dysfunctional relationships as a child which in return gave them a distorted view on love, ego that needs endless validation etc.
3. Someone that cheats doesn’t love you and/or doesn’t love themselves. A question I had to ask myself was how can you expect respect and unconditional love from someone whose never given it to themselves?
4. Even if they are apologizing, crying, begging, love bombing, threatening to self harm, pleading it will never happen again etc they are still lying

[Asker]

Yes. I’ve come to terms with if someone cheats on you and there was literally no reason for them to do that they’re just a really shitty person

[Rosexøxø]

I used to be DIE HARD against cheating. After some online encounters and some breaking of the heart and desensitization, I feel like cheating isn’t so bad. I mean, in the sense both who were very sexual to begin with hooked up and if they didn’t really click and one or both wandered to flirting or potentially hooking up with other partners, then it wouldn’t be so bad. If one of them in the relationship (or basically he with me- if he..) was innocent and had high/strong values to commit to the other (me), then I’d for sure never cheat. I think it just depends on the type of guy I get involved with and how he interacts with me/ views me/ and his level of loyalty.


If we both joined for some level of friendship or vocalized wanting each other sexually, and exclusively, then yeah, I could definitely agree to it.

But if we are both casual and numb in our hearts, can talk a bit, just have our minds set on sexual stuff, then it probably wouldn’t matter if either of us mess around with others.

[Rosexøxø]

It really just depends MAJORLY, on the TYPE of relationship it is.

[Asker]

Why not just break up or be in an open relationship?

[Rosexøxø]

Oh for sure that’s the practical route to go, if one or hopefully both people feel that free spirited or so.

Thing is sometimes we end up talking to people who seem so careless of the relationship and where it goes, and they don’t actually communicate well, so they COULD think you both are dating or so, but it doesn’t matter if the other person ends up finding someone newish and messing with them even while probably talking to the initial person. It looks like cheating because it’s not exactly staying with one racehorse (metaphor/ no disrespect lol), but the initial dater and the newish one both may be oblivious or uncaring. It wasn’t discussed what is allowed (exclusive or not), and it just kind of happens that way.

It’s all somewhat unsaid and subtle or so. Best way I could describe it 🤔😂

[Rosexøxø]

Otherwise yeah, just have an open relationship; etc.

[Asker]

Sounds like a situationship!

[razelove]

I did in the past because I was cheated on. The result was to make me look like an asshole, and more entrenched in a terrible relationship, as more women around me wanted less to do with me unless it was just fooling around.

I digress, now I wouldn't cheat because I love my wife and family, doing so would shatter the trust my wife has in me, as well as my kids. I also don't want to be cheated on myself, generally doing shady shit will get you with shady people.

Like go figure, when I did drugs I was with drug addicts, when I was sleeping around I only met sluts. Cheating, women with boyfriends. Small world.

I'd prefer to keep my small happy family as it is, even if it means I get less strange lol

[Asker]

Nicely out

[Asker]

Put*

[caring__1]

We'll never get more respect than we give others. I would never move on before ending what already existed, though I'd put forth significant effort to address the present issues before giving up on any commitment I've made. I don't believe in disposable relationships, but I also don't believe people should stay with someone who doesn't choose to be an active equal partner. People who feel entitled don't deserve a healthy partner, but if you choose to use others, be clear up front, so only other users will choose to participate with you.

[OlderAndWiser]

I haven't cheated once in 52 yars of dating, relationships, and marriage, and hope to preserve that streak for the rest of my life!

[Asker]

Nice!!

[SteveSmith1985]

No. I would never cheat. Its inexcusable. I absolutely judge people who cheat. Harshly.

[JosyJosy]

Friends on GAG believing that? In this warzone of guys vs girls, there's no way.

No I wouldn't cheat cause betraying someone like that is just horrible. I've seen people take it being disappointed, angry and others who just broke down and that last one is just so sad to see. Instead of communicating or breaking up you decide to cheat. So much work, much more work for the same result. Making things more problematic, it's childish and selfish. I'm lazy and will take the shortest route. Don't want you anymore? "We're done, it's over, BUH-BYE"

And I have no reason to end things with my boyfriend. He's great.

A hotshot you barely know for a fun night? Or a hotshot who knows you on a personal level and loves you for who you are? Cheating sounds like a rip off.

[Asker]

Yes literally. I was cheated on before and it single handedly broke me, especially cause I didn’t do anything wrong and he was “happy” in the relationship. I never saw it coming.

Like I said, in my last relationship was I very miserable. But I would never ever cheat. After a lot of thought, I left him and enjoyed my freedom after we broke up.

[TonyMetal___86]

@itsalyssaagain princess rapunzel deserves someone who treats her the same and see her as the only girl in the world, and this guy wasn't the one, that's why you were happy after breaking up 😌

[Asker]

Thank you!!! Definitely :)

[D_Bone_Steak]

I cheated because she cheated. I went scorched earth with it and I don't think anybody here has cheated like I have and on such a level. It was all open book as well, I wasn't hiding anything and would flaunt it. The wife accepted it because she felt that she deserved it. Once my anger about the cheating went away, I came to realize it's just not worth the effort. I'm pretty sure she realized the same thing during that process and we're just done with the games. For me it was about betrayal and for her it was about attention.

[TonyMetal___86]

When i'm in a serious relationship, i'll never cheat, period!

Why would someome cheat especially when they are married, i mean in the end tha man have his girl and the girl have her guy, no need for someone else, that's why their is marriage so that the man and woman complete each other on all levels!

No person is forced to cheat, they just choose to cheat!

Some guys claims that they need to have sex if their girlfriends are going to remain virgins till marriage, that's a lame excuse, where's the committment?

[Asker]

Yeah and as a virgin I say to that…you don’t deserve to have me if you can’t wait for me or see the bigger picture lol

[TonyMetal___86]

😊👍🏻

[Makeushiver]

I've been in relationships where the sex became a bit boring and have cheate3d. I've also been physically seduced a couple of times and by very attractive women so I that counts I guess. One climbed in my bed wearing nothing and ran her hand inside my thigh and another at a club where I was with a date and and a girl who was with a group of friends acted like she was dancing - standing room only- backed up into me until I was against a wall and the dry humped me. Never saw her face, new her name and I think it was a some sort of dare.

[KrakenAttackin]

Women are master cheaters. Also, women can rationalize anything. I have known women who said anal intercourse wasn't cheating, or of the new guy used a condom, or if he didn't cum inside her, or if it was while out of town, or if it was "one time" while at a club.

[Asker]

Sir I don’t cheat and some other girls commenting here don’t too

[mobiusforniner]

Cheating implies intentional lying and deception. Short answer, no. But will i fall in love with someone else? That answer depends on many other factors that are undermining the current relationship. And to that end, yes I have. The latter can lead to the former if those compulsions become overwhelming and the base relationship isn't repaired.

[LovingJo]

I've never been able to cheat on anyone and don't plan on it either.

But I have cheated with people.

Does it make it better? No, but at the same time, it doesn't make it worse.

I couldn't live with the guilt of cheating on someone.
I'm not going to say ever, because I don't know the future. But I honestly don't think I could.

[Anonymous]

I've cheated on girlfriend in every relationship I've been in after being asked in first relationship, a yr in, what would you do if I cheated on you?

Did she cheat? Don't know don't care, took it as sign I needed to cheat, tell her I cheated, and then leave her. So that's what I did.

Now it mostly happens if I see noticable drop off in sex.

[Z1pTD]

I mean I've never technically cheated but I've definitely had my issuss even when I know I'm headed into a relationship.
Also, I wouldn't count mild flirting/teasing as cheating unless it's being hidden from the partner.

[Asker]

Yeah mine was hidden when I was a teen lol

[Z1pTD]

Oh that's not great lolll

[Asker]

Yeah haha

[KrisPW]

Nope. I've been cheated on in previous relationships. It's not a good feeling. I wouldn't do that to my hubby or anyone.

[Guardian45]

Once you've been cheated on, your attitude changes.

[OfMiceandMen]

I agree, if you've ever been cheated, then you tend not to want to harm someone like that. It is a cruel thing to do someone.

[Guardian45]

Absolutely!

[Asker]

Cheating on me single handedly destroyed me lol.

[OfMiceandMen]

@itsalyssaagain That sucks. I don't dwell on it anymore, in my case, it was better for me that she did it. Made me realize I was better off without her.

[Asker]

Me too!! I mean for me it was my first serious relationship. I also had really bad self esteem. I was so happy that a guy like him wanted to be with me — he was successful, good looking, really muscular (haha in hindsight sounds like a recipe for disaster).

Now that I’m older and I’ve worked on my self esteem and dated around. There’s no way I’d settle for someone like him.

[Guardian45]

It was better for me too, cuz I would have gone to jail for homicide with extreme prejudice. 😳

[OfMiceandMen]

They say every relationship is a learning experience, not only about what you like in your partners, but about yourself.

[Guardian45]

Ya, I learned that I scared myself. So I would NEVER cheat on another man's woman. This is why domestic police calls are so dangerous.

[OfMiceandMen]

@guardian45 It would appear your cheating experience way outdid mine!👀

[Guardian45]

It was uni, and I didn't handle it well. Fortunately, friends protected me from doing anything more stupid than getting drunk and wrecking furniture.

[David4358]

Yes I have and would, I never would in the past.. but years of a sexless marriage leaves little options and non of them are great..

[Asker]

Sexless marriage? Damn. What’s the point of being married then?

[David4358]

It didn't start out that way.. divorce is not a great option because we have kids and don't want to put them through that, so like I said.. not a lot of good options

[Asker]

That’s gotta be tough and really suck. Hope it works out for you

[Ben487]

It depends on the relationship I was in. If I wasn't getting what I needed from my girlfriend I would probably most definitely cheat. If she was amazing and everything I needed then no I wouldn't, I would be trying to make her my wife.

[Spade_01]

No, never. Not only because it's disrespectful to your partner but it also tells a lot about your self respect. People with no self respect cheat.

[Spongebobssocks]

No i rather not burn in hell for all eternity. I could never be that disgusting.. but I guess many could. can't relate to them tho..

[TallAnon]

No, if I have something solid, I would never fuck it up. If I don't have something solid, I leave.

[Asker]

I agree