Is he actually a cheat?

[Anonymous]

There was a boy in my highschool back in 2012. He was a very good student and popular. He asked me out through a mutual friend and I said no. Because I was crushing over a playboy. Some of his friends were also my friends and they tried to persuade me over the years. And he also approached me. But there was always something and I didn't like him. But as we grew up we were in touch. We'd chat once in 6 months or something like that. Gradually I stopped being irritated him because he stopped being sarcastic with me and we had a lot to talk about. I enjoyed talking with him but however he never talked about liking me anymore and I was afraid of dating. becaude I had a phase of "I'm never getting married" so dating someone was out of the question. But he dated 3/4 girls over the years. And we were in touch. He is a marine engineer and he'd disappear for months when he's on ship. when he came back he'd always text me. we'd talk about school days friends, our philosophical ideas and so many things. he'd keep texting me till the last moment before he'd lose internet. but he was in a relationship with a girl for a year. Which I found out later.

I never understood his infatuation with me for 10 years. He talked to me even after having a girlfriend. I feel bad for her. I wouldn't like my boyfriend talking to his old flame. Am I a bad person? Did he emotionally cheat?

[Anonymous]

It's difficult to say for certain whether your friend emotionally cheated or not, as it depends on the nature of his relationship with his girlfriend and the boundaries they established. However, it's understandable that you feel uncomfortable with the situation and feel bad for the girlfriend.

If your friend was talking to you in a way that made you uncomfortable or crossed any boundaries, it's important to communicate that with him and establish clear boundaries for your friendship. It's also important to respect his relationship and not engage in behavior that could be seen as inappropriate or disrespectful.

Ultimately, it's up to each individual and their partner to define what constitutes emotional cheating in their relationship. It's important to be honest and open with your partner about your interactions with other people, and to respect their feelings and boundaries.

[Asker]

I was pretty vulnerable when I talked to him last time and was having feelings for him. He was reminiscing about how our friends tried to set us up. Even though I feel bad for the girlfriend I feel pretty bad myself too. I misinterpreted the whole thing maybe.

[Opinion Owner]

Its okay. Listen, It's natural to feel vulnerable and have confusing feelings when it comes to past relationships and connections. However, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with the other person about your feelings and to ensure that you're respecting their boundaries and the boundaries of any current relationships they may have.

If you're feeling unsure or uncomfortable about your conversations with this guy, it may be helpful to take a step back and reflect on your own feelings and boundaries. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to make decisions that align with your values and goals for the future.

It may also be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend or therapist to process your feelings and gain clarity on the situation. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and care in any relationship, and it's important to prioritize your own emotional health and well-being.

[laraWM]

He probably still likes you a lot but to be honest I wouldn't say he was cheating and of course you're not to blame. If you're not comfortable with it, just tell him to stop