Girlfriend's responses to me make me sad?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating this girl for 6 months now and we're doing long distance. I'm 23 and she's 21. We started off as just friends and eventually started dating and for the first 5 1/2 months.. it was great! There were some ups and downs but things since then have been pretty hard on me.

The issue that I'm having is that I feel like a lot of my sweetness/affection goes unappreciated? In the beginning she would always show her appreciation for the things that I said and did for her but now it's kinda just like "meh". She sends a little generic response but nothing like how it used to be.

It makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm going all out for her and I love her so much but she doesn't really care for what I do for her. It makes me want to stop being romantic all together and just see where the chips land. This is my first relationship and this is her third. I've tried telling her that I crave her affection and that I want more of her but she just doesn't seem to change. She's asked me what I want her to do but I don't know what to say. I just always feel hurt. She also goes a long time without responding to my messages now, just ignoring me.

She tells me that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her. She tells me that she wants to be with me and doesn't want to start over with someone new. But I just don't feel loved and appreciated.

I'm set to move closer to where she lives within the next 5 weeks. I don't know sure on what to do. I would love to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Thank you for taking the time to read this message and have a great day :)

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you're feeling hurt and frustrated by your girlfriend's lack of responsiveness and appreciation. It's important to communicate your feelings to her in a clear and honest way, and to have an open and respectful conversation about your needs and expectations in the relationship.

It's possible that your girlfriend may not realize how her behavior is affecting you, and may be willing to make an effort to show more appreciation and affection. However, it's also important to recognize that everyone has their own ways of expressing love and affection, and it's possible that your girlfriend's communication style may be different from yours.

Before making any decisions about the future of your relationship, it may be helpful to have a candid conversation with your girlfriend about your concerns and feelings. Try to approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen to her perspective as well.

If, after having this conversation, you still feel like your needs are not being met in the relationship, it may be worth considering whether this is the right relationship for you. Ultimately, it's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and to be with someone who makes you feel loved, valued, and appreciated.

[RavVid]

The honeymoon period for a couple might last six months or go for 12. That might be a factor here. When forming a relationship you are both working on establishing it but at a point one or both is satisfied it is established and reduce the effort. Girls classically start saying not tonight honey at this point and that could go for affection too.

Are you texting during work hours, if so I think you are being unreasonable to expect quick responses.

A friend decided to make the running in his relationship then to stop and let the girlfriend make the running. He found this dynamic balanced worked. I haven't tried it but it might work for you.

Maybe the girl is just not as affectionate and loving as you in which case there is a disconnect. If the situation was reversed and she was asking for more affection than was natural for you to give then the natural response would be to withdraw a little. I don't think my friends tactic was playing tit for tat but more allowing a natural ebb and flow in the relationship.

[jorfan3]

Moving closer to someone is a big commitment, especially when that person isn't reciprocating the investment.

Imagine the best and worst case scenario, and the most likely scenerio.

What do they look like? How do you feel about them? Is it worth your time? How much will this cost you in the long run if this does/doesn't work out?

Just some thoughts running through my head...

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your perspective on things. What do they look like? What do you mean by that question? In the literal sense?

[Asker]

That's a really interesting question.. how much will this cost me in the long run if it does work out.. that's defiantly something to ponder. You always think of how much it'll cost if it doesn't work out but if things all go according to plan and as expected, how much will this have costed me? Will the joy outweigh all the expenses/pain?

[VikingWarLord]

Brotha, I know you don't wanna hear this at this point in time, but don't invest too much into it at your young age.

The worst thing a man can do is CASH IN HIS CHIPS TOO EARLY! Don't make the mistake that so many men make.

Focus on getting your money up, and once you hit your 30s and 40s, you can have 10 hot young women if you wanted. Men get better with age, women decrease in value with age. It's just how biology works. Don't give your youth to a female like this to begin with. You're both too young to be heavily involved. You will thank me in 10+ years if you heed my advice !