How do I get my ex to stop contacting me and my friends?

[galitzy]

Broke up with my ex a bit ago after she was treating me like a tool and I have never been doing better. Turns out she has been mooching off my friend and is trying to get them to get us back together. She also told me (even while dating) that she was ready to hit on my friend at any time but she later found out they're not into girls. Anyway, I've been bombarded with friend/message requests from my ex and my friend's been the middle-man of it all by forwarding messages from her. I don't want to speak to my ex again and I don't want her harrassing my friend (who only got involved in the first place because of her) about me. Do I ignore her? Do I add her back as she's been asking? How should I approach this?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Adding her back or giving her any attention at all is just going to make it worse. Having your friend talk to her for you is way too much already.

She's trying to get you back in my opinion, and the best way to make her back off from my experience... fake having a new girl, or get a new girl if you can do it. Advertise new girl anywhere she can see it. I've used this method to get rid of plenty of girls. Say I'm being texted all the damn time... I'll just text back, "Sorry I was just banging this really hawt 19-year-old goth girl and I think I've got girlfriend material here... so, what's up?"

It works like a charm... Some say I'm skilled at getting chicks, but my real skill is getting rid of chicks. 😂 🤣

[Anonymous]

Next time she does this have a prepared final warning to tell her. Tell her you wish her the best but she is stop contacting you and your friends immediately or there will be consequences. Don’t respond to her response. But give her a black and white warning.

If she doesn’t respect your final warning then file a protective order. But you must spell it out loud and clear first.

Not saying you are doing this but some people think “beating around the bush” about not wanting to be contacted is enough. However they at the same time secretly still like it when their ex tries to contact them. So they give mixed messages in responses. Reason being they like the ego boost of being able to brag about “oh this guy/girl is stalking me”. It makes them feel hot and desirable enough to be “stalked”. I believe women especially secretly love to be able to say that.

Anyway give her a black and white final warning. Don’t leave her any doubt that you don’t want to be contacted.

[Anonymous]

I would message her and tell her you are not interested in getting back with her and you don't want her in your life and tell her to leave you and your friends alone, and that she is at the point where she is harassing all of you, and you don't like it or appreciate it, and that if she does not stop, inform her that she will leave you with no choice but to go to the police. Then you and your friends block her.

Sometimes ignoring someone who is bombarding you and your friends won't work. Sometimes you just have be straight forward and threaten to contact the police before they will actually stop

[gag37627]

Thank you for this. Many people don't understand it

[smashleyy]

You both shouldn’t acknowledge her attempts at all. Just block. Chances of her stopping are high once she realizes she can’t get her way and you’re firm with boundaries of no contact. If she continues and doesn’t get the hint after a week or two then go to the cops. They might not be able to do much but maybe they’ll give her a warning and that’ll be enough to deter her and you’ll at least have it on record if she tries anything more severe

[OlderAndWiser]

If the friend is really a friend, a simple request for them to not get in the middle of things should be sufficient. Block her on your phone and all social media. If she persists, call your local clerk of court and ask if your area has procedures for you to get an injunction against stalking.

[TruthBringer]

I would even go a step further and say that my friends, if they truly are my friends, don't give her a time of day. Their loyalty is with me, as mine is with them. I have no desire to talk to an ex of a friend because my concern and loyalty lies with my friend.

[OlderAndWiser]

@TruthBringer exactly!

[kylee2437]

Honestly if she’s harassing, you can go to the cops and they will call her to tell her to stop contacting you personally. I think your friends would have to go to the police department if they are bothered by her texts and such

[galitzy]

The police seems a bit extreme in this case but it's bothering me how much she's begging all of our mutuals to give her every scrap of my contacts when she clearly didn't care about working on our relationship days before the breakup. Is ignoring her going to do anything or should I follow her advances and tell it to her as it is?

[LindsayR07]

I have a friend who has a similar thing going on... and she tried the appeasement route per the idiot judges instructions (custody situation "coparenting"... this isn't coparenting)... intermittent reinforcement is the best kind of reinforcement... cut off communication and don't Hudgens, and if need be use the police to drive the message home

[kylee2437]

@galitzy you should get the police involved so she knows you mean business when saying you want her to leave you alone

[kylee2437]

@LindsayR07 I agree! My ex harassed me when I broke up with him and getting the cops involved confirmed that I was absolutely serious that I didn’t want to be bothered by him anymore

[rosemilk]

going to the cops is actually not extreme at all, she's harassing you and your friends. she needs a wake up call. i agree with this advice.

[DaveJord]

Honestly the best thing to do is ignore it and show no interest in the fact she is doing it. Eventually they get tried of it and move on.

[Sarah2023]

@galitzy don’t listen to people who say ignore her. I think you should message and let he know that you don’t appreciate her putting your friends in the middle. Also you are both not together anymore and you understand it may be a difficult time but she needs to stop.

[slatyb]

Ignore her -- do not respond in any way ever. Tell your friends to do the same. If they are in contact with her, that's their problem, not yours. If they bring her up, say "That's over. Not interested."

[Mimi_758]

Just tell you friends not to hand out with her and or talk with her and if they are real friends they will listen to you and they will not talk to her just block her on everything and tell your friends to do the same thing

[Exterminatore]

You might have a case for a restraining order. Tell your friend you won’t be accepting any more messages from him on behalf of your ex. Either he can respect this boundary or you will not be friends any longer.

[JustMeL120]

If you don't want to see her ever again send her a message saying if you ever contact me again I will go to the police. That should do it.

[Sarahr123]

Tell your friends to block her and you tell her very sternly to leave you alone

[Rockstarrrrr]

" you crazy bitch... Have some self respect and stop acting like a loser... It's over..."

[Anonymous]

ignore her and tell your friends to ignore her and that you don't want to know of any messages they're being sent.

[Anonymous]

Block, and tell your friend if he even mentions her to you, you are DONE.

[serious_miss419]

Erase the middle man and don’t reply. Sounds like you’re enabling it

[Anonymous]

Why is she wanting you so badly back if she was treating you so badly maybe just give her one more chance or treat her badly when you’re with her so she won’t want to be with you anymore

[KrakenAttackin]

Tell her your next step will be to seek a restraining order.

[whistlingwh0res]

"bitch, back up. we are not in a relationship. go find some dick to fuck!"

[dudeinohio]

Block. Block. Block some more.

[In_Trance]

Block her and ignore all attempts that she makes

[sheikalana]

Block, delete, and repeat.

[imawfulatusernames]

Honestly contact the police

[imawfulatusernames]

I understand it’s not a perfect situation and the police don’t always treat these situations seriously but it really is all you can do