What are some effective ways to communicate and negotiate sexual boundaries and desires within a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess opening up about sexual boundaries and desires was never easy for me. Now I find myself grappling with insecurities and uncertainties, afraid of how my partner will perceive my thoughts and needs. But I know deep down that if our relationship is going to thrive, I have to find the courage to address this sensitive topic. Any advice?

[EricSummer]

Anytime when you have some quiet time together you can talk about sex. Do you have very unusual needs that might shock her?

For the general things that get people hot you can just gently try things during sex already. For example, you can hold her arms down and see how she reacts. If it is turning her on she might be into games of restraint, maybe try tying her hands next time. Small steps I'd say.

Now, if you are into unusual things like being treated like a baby with a nappy on, or anything with excrements, talk about it in general terms, like something you read somewhere. See if she is disgusted or strongly against it. If so, be prepared to drop it for good (!) Otherwise follow up that even you sometimes fantasize about such things... Let's see where you get. Sometimes you find common things, and some preferences may be acquired.

[AMS700CX4u2]

Don't share the cookies too soon. Talk. Lust has a language of it's own and it is single minded about it focus and outcome. Make sure that is what you want before you engage. As anyone should know a stone is easier to stop before it is rolling downhill. Remember, boundaries may change as trust develops.

[juene]

You must remember that communication between a couple is an important thing.

You should learn to open up to her about your desires and what can satisfy the BOTH of you.

Maybe she wanted to experiment things as well she's just shy to tell you this. Since you are having this thoughts already might as well open up about this first?

For example, when cuddling, you can ask her about her desires/boundaries/if she want to try new things. Trust me she will appreciate your initiative in communicating about sex. After that you can tell her yours.

Hope that helps 😊

[Pinay_ako]

Sexual boundaries and desires in the relationship is something not too complicated or hard to talk about! Unless it’s something really perverse or illegal or painful or just plain weird! But at the end of the day, honest communication is key to a healthy sex between lovers! If they can’t accept, or can’t reach a compromise then it’s not a compatible relationship. This will affect greatly your future together

[OlderAndWiser]

It’s not complicated. It just requires a candid conversation, and that will probably be easier when you are both fully dressed and not in bed.

[RingOfFire]

"... that will probably be easier when you are both fully dressed and not in bed."

Good point!

[Minahh]

Negotiating doesn't work (speaking from personal experience). You either share the same turn ons or you don't. Sexual needs are a crucial part of ones self and you can't expect someone to mold them according to yours.

[shades777]

facts

[nolabels]

Me: I want to talk about sex.

The wife: I'm not interested.

That has been the extent of our conversations about sex over the last 25 years.

[Molly1997]

Well, my partner and I had already talked for months online before meeting so we time to develop a strong bond first. It felt easy from there to communicate.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why ia it a sensitive topic? Everytime I wanted something I just said it. Open up to her.

[asphaltrhymes]

Lol I'd always be blunt to my partner if I had a girlfriend 😋

[Anonymous]

Kinda depends on the particulars. What are you top 5 boundries and your top 5 desires?