Is it okay not hearing from him for days?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend are in a relationship for year and a half.. he’s cool.. when I’m with him his attention is all with me.. but he can spend day or couple days not texting or calling but when we’re together he is keen and loving. I didn’t want to be needy but I discussed it with him and he listened carefully to me and felt loved and said that he really loves me and want to marry me.. he always thinks about our future together and makes plans but is it normal to spend days without hearing my voice. When i call him he doesn’t answer.. Is it kinda mind game or guys usually do that! I hope anyone would help me as it’s my first relationship.

[Cl5k12]

I would think that it's nice to know and hear from your partner, especially if you are together that long. I do understand that he needs his time away and for himself. Do you live close together? Or far away? Do you know what he does the days he doesn't talk to you? I understand 1 day, but a few days seems a little much if you are dating and serious.

[Asker]

That’s what I’m talking about. We don’t live together and it takes 2 hours to reach his house. We have an app that shares our location. So he spends his time with his cousins and hanging out with his friends. But he doesn’t call or text for a day or maximum 3 days. And when he doesn’t call. I do the same thing. Cause I don’t know what is that!

[Cl5k12]

If it is something that bothers you maybe try and talk to him about it. Just a simple text when you aren't together is still a nice gesture. Especially for knowing each other and dating as long as you are.

If you were married and he went silent regularly for up to 3 days doesn't seem like healthy communication to me.

[Cl5k12]

By the way, hate to ask, but mind answering my question? It's about sending a letter :3

[Asker]

I already talked to him but still the same thing. Should i break up with him.. it feels like he doesn’t love me.

[Cl5k12]

Maybe this can come out childish, but you can take a step back. Become more cold/less available and then make him have to make an effort/reach out to you. If he comes, then you know he cares.

In that time, you can also see how you really feel. Now you are thinking/fighting for his attention so yeah, it's harder for you. If you reverse the ball then you can have more control. If that makes sense?

Overall, if this is an issue now and you've been together for so long, then it will be a problem later when you are married/more serious etc.

[strateguy632]

in this case write a text asking "when can we talk on the phone" to set a time

[Asker]

Okay but i need him to do that because he misses me and wanna hear my voice not because I want so.