I’ve been dating with this guy for 8 months. I’m not going to lie I have became pretty attached and he knows it I have been wanting a relationship and wanting more since we have been having sex and he’s met my parents and been coming to my house a lot. Since I said how I felt and how I love him and want to be with him he’s been really distant with me and it’s like he hasn’t been seeing me as much? He said he wanted to be with me since the start though?
He told me that he wants to be with me in the future but not now and that I’m too attatched and how he wants to have a family with me in the future and how he loves me but right now he hasn’t been seeing me much and coming round? I don’t understand is there a problem with me being attatched? he tells me everyday he misses having sex with me and how it’s the best and how he can’t stop thinking about sleeping with me again but he said he feels like I’m getting the wrong idea and that I’m catching feelings and getting the wrong impression.
He’s been sleeping around with loads of other women too recently which I’ve heard but then he said that those women he sleeps with he dosent care about and that he wants to be with me in the long run and says how much he loves me but this dosent make sense help? My brain can’t get this, we speak everyday and I told him I’d leave him alone and he gets mad and says no because I still want to speak to you and be together in the long run? I don’t understand?
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1Opinion
You can’t drag a relationship out of someone who isn’t offering it up. “Well he said this and said that”, so what? Since when did words become an actual commitment or even worth entertaining, when there’s no action to back them up? You think he’s incapable of lying or stringing you along just because he isn’t being an asshole about it? Filling your head with dreams and lies? I’m sorry you’ve become so attached to the wrong person but you’re very much wasting your time. He’s sleeping with all these other women on top of all that and I don't know why your instinct isn’t to be highly concerned about how safe he’s being as opposed to if he will stop and commit. He will not, you should get this through your head so you can leave him.
I know I just feel stupid that I’m going through this. I don’t understand why when I say I’m leaving though he will refuse to let me go if he dosent want me?
You say refuse like he’s got you chained down in his basement or something lol no offense, truly.
The thing is, you provide something that he enjoys getting from you, but don’t be fooled by his “efforts”. If he wanted to, he would absolutely be done with the streets and be with you. Especially knowing that you are ready and willing to be with him. Yet he has endless excuses and that shouldn’t be ok with you. I know you’ve invested time into him, but you can’t get that back no matter what. can't change how much sex you’ve had, or that you’ve brought him around your parents, none of that matters when you know in your heart you want a commitment and he does not. Just leave him alone, stop responding to his texts, calls or whatever he does to reel you back in and have a bit of self control. When you have weak moments or feel like caving (because you will have plenty of those) remind yourself why you have to let him go in the first place. Otherwise you will be stuck in an endless loop of going back, being disappointed and having to start the healing all over again.
Hang out with your friends, family, just stay busy. Do you love yourself more than you love him? If so then that’s your motivation right there.
This guy is manipulating you, continue having sex with him if you enjoy it but he'll never give you the relationship you want, move on to a better dude, a dude you deserve to have
To be honest no I don’t really enjoy casual sex I like being with someone and speaking everyday I just don’t understand why when I say I’ll stop speaking to him he will say he dosent want that
Because he wants to keep you around, for the sex, but he's also having sex with other women, I think you deserve better than this, I think you need a guy who'll actually care for you deeply and want more than sex, and if you want monogamy you deserve it!!
I get wanting that deep connection, it's the best thing you can have