If an ex flaunts his new relationship all over social media does he not care about you at all?

[Anonymous]

[DaveJord]

Who knows and who cares?

You would like to think it is because he wants to make you jealous, because you hurt him, and he wants you to know he found someone, but still truly wants you. But that type of thinking is not very healthy honestly.

It 100% very likely that he just found a new person, and he just genuinely happy about it, and there is this possible that what he posts on his socials has nothing to do with you. Think about that? There's some great wisdom in those words.

[Asker]

I’ve already thought about it, I actually thought this was the case, it’s my male friends who have said otherwise.

[DaveJord]

Don't mind fuck yourself over this... dudes moving on and already in the healing process. Just unfriend him and move on, that's probably the best thing for both of you.

[Asker]

I’m not doing him any favours, if he wants to stalk my stories that’s up to him. I’ve already muted him so don’t see his updates.

[DaveJord]

If it's about you or not... doesn't really matter. You don't need or should want someone like that in your life. Even if did want to get back with you, it be more like a fuck buddy to you him then a real girlfriend at this point... so shut the mind fuck off and move on.

[Asker]

I don’t want him in my life, I’m just trying to make sense of things as feelings were there at one point, I’m not a robot, I think it’s better to deal with things in order to let them go, not pretend it’s not an issue so it comes up in other ways in the future if that makes sense.

[Asker]

And how can you be so sure of this? Maybe that’s how you’d treat the situation but other people have got back together afterwards and made it work. (Not saying that’s what I want personally).

[Asker]

I’ve known guys be in relationships but still line for their ex.

[Asker]

*pine

[DaveJord]

I am not sure of anything... so let me 100% honest about that.

I am just saying... it doesn't sound like healthy behavior... you both sound hung up over the emotions of the breakup... and as you process that social media doesn't help. You muted him, why not just block or delete him?

But on some level, you want to be about you, you need it to be so you can work through it all. And if you honestly need that then it's all good, just know that is what you are doing.

And if I know it so does, he... so does he care about you, or is he fucking with you? The problem is that regardless which is the true answer, you still care enough to want to know... to try to work it out. So, you are in the mind fuck trap... and only you can get yourself out of it.

[DaveJord]

Just don't get played. Just because you have to know, when honestly you don't, unless you really just want to be with him... and if you don't want to be with him... then why do you need to know?

The mind fucking is in full effect.

[Asker]

There are still some feelings there, I can’t just magically make that disappear overnight, believ me if I could I definitely would. Bit logically I know I don’t want him, but there are still certain aspects of us that I miss. He doesn’t know I view his social media, a friend tells me what’s what at times. I don’t delete him because I’m still a little bit curious and he can delete me if he wants to. He’s seen other men take interest in me too and then he just posts more about their relationship…

[Asker]

I appreciate the last bit of advice you gave, that makes much more sense.

[Asker]

How would he know it? I’ve avoided contact with him. He’s liked some of my last stories I posted but I’ve not liked any of his.

[DaveJord]

Trust me, take some time to get some space from this guy... l cut the social media bullshit. Give it two or three months and them ask yourself if it was worth it or not.

But if you continue with this line of thought about this guy... you will mind fuck yourself into making the wrong choice or at the very least prevent yourself from making the best one.

[Asker]

What might his emotions be if he’s still caught up in it…hate?

[Asker]

If he’s happy elsewhere why would he need to mindfuck me? I’ve never done that to someone I’ve broke up with if I was happy it was over.

[DaveJord]

See all thise question are all part of the mind fuck... and don't think for second its him mind fucking you. You mind just be mind fucking yourself... and social media is the source of the mind fucking.

[Asker]

Fair enough. I think it’s more my friends that are creating the “mind fuck” if that’s what it is as they’re the ones that have made me think he’s doing it to get at me.

[Asker]

Both women and men have shared them views with me.

[Asker]

I also don’t want to delete him because I don’t want him to think he’s getting to me.

[Asker]

We agreed to be “friends”, I’d like to think we can achieve that eventually.

[Asker]

Also, when I share updates about gifts from a guy he posts more of them straight after. That can’t just be a coincidence right.

[DaveJord]

Do you, I would use a different approach. I unfollow and block my ex-girlfriends because they are exs for a reason, and I don't need the drama they bring to social media or the mind fucking that goes on.

You are a case in piont, you tow playing mind fuck games with each... and the problem is that you both kind of like it, So you should just get back with the guys and fuck each other brains out one last time and then call it over.

But says you are 36 to 46... so I just assumed you were old enough at this stage your life to comprehend what's going on without me telling you.

[Asker]

Wow, passive aggressive insults, kick someone when they’re down, nice!

[Asker]

This isn’t about it you, it’s about me, we’re also all different. So good for you but now I just feel your projecting your issues onto my situation that has become unhelpful.

[DaveJord]

Tough love, some time people just need to hear the truth. But after 18 replies I am worn out with this.

[DaveJord]

Your just making excuses for yourself... go find this guy and hammer it out with him... that obviously what you want.

[Asker]

There are ways of giving the truth, I always want the truth even if it’s hard, it’s not something I’ve ever showed away from, but your approach and outlook is now questionable honestly. Makes me wonder if your parents were bullies.

[Asker]

*shied away from

[DaveJord]

Passive aggressive requires malice intent. There was no malice intent behind anything I said. Bu the fact that you took there, means that you not in a good place with this break up and the chances of you continue with these self destructive behaviors is high, so you maybe you should indulge yourself.

[Asker]

And that tells me something about emotional maturity and understanding situations with emotional intelligence. Yeah, I’ve learned quite a bit in my time.

[Asker]

Saying you’d think someone would’ve learned something by a certain age to their face is a way of shaming, so yes it was meant with malice. There was no real value to saying that other than to make yourself feel better.

[DaveJord]

Go out there and find this guy and fuck is brains out, or just quit playing mind fuck games on yourself, with your friend on social media... just stop playing the games. But you can't or won't then go out and fuck his brains out and see where it goes. Indulge yourself, because must be what you want right?

[Asker]

Obviously that’s normal to you if you see no harm in it, which again raises questions for me. But this is pointless now. Thanks for commenting where it helped and good day.

[DaveJord]

So now you are playing victim, accusing me of shaming and being passive aggressive... yeah no it all makes sense to me. You're rip with insecurity.

Look you are not in a good place, mentally or emotionally... its obvious. But do what you want to do.

[Asker]

Projection again just because you’ve been called out on something, not once thought the thread have I played victim to your “honest” comments as you see them. It’s clear for all to see. If I weren’t in a good place I’d be taking it more personally. I’m obviously hurt by the relationship but even if I weren’t my views of this conversation would be the same. You appear to be one of those types that are never at fault.

[DaveJord]

Seem sensitive to me. Because I implied that by 36 to 46... most people have enough life expericne to see these things for what they are.

OMG< you got butt hurt and not you are saying you are not butt hurt, but you are butt hurt. Just like you play mind fuck games, but don't but kind of do, because honestly you might of just mind fuck yourself out of a great relationship, but now you are just trying mind fuck your way back to it, without acting like its all minding fuck games from the start.

[DaveJord]

Just stop lying to yourself or blaming others or deflecting from the truth... GROW THE "F" up and act your age. This shit again that hard, you got hurt... get over it or don't.

[Asker]

Truth has obviously hurt your little ego and you’re the one clearly struggling to deal with it. I’m sorry but that irony isn’t lost on me. Lol

[Asker]

People respect accountability. It’s not weakness, on the contrary.

[slatyb]

Why do you even know this? Why would you care? Stop following him and move on.

[Asker]

You’re really asking those questions? We’re not all psychopaths. Read some psychology research if you genuinely don’t grasp this.

[slatyb]

I've read a number of psychology books. I don't understand why you are obsessed with the online behavior or an ex-boyfriend.

[Asker]

Those two comments don’t even make sense.

[MementoMori777]

he can just be extremely proud of his relationship as well

[DaveJord]

100%

[RyanK9b]

Oh yes. That person is so over you

[Asker]

How do you know?

[RyanK9b]

If said person is bragging about this is the old one not in his mind. The current one is overpowering ever other memory so long as the euphoria is hitting the brain.

[DaveJord]

YUP, no doubt

[Asker]

I think that’s true to a degree yeah, but guys can do it to try and make their ex jealous too I reckon. I’ve seen guys do this so I know.

[RyanK9b]

Sure, yes this is a option but unlikely.

[In_Trance]

wtf... it's your ex