Why would a man be strong enough to endure wars but a heartbreak can easily get him to his knees?

Question

I am not generalising, but I've seen this happen with someone.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

Because a lot of men deep down desire love and commitment from a great woman who will stand by his side and be with him through thick and thin.

A lot of relationships are seen as a commodity and superficial these days because people cannot relate to each other any more. Those that can are either taken or struggle to find someone who is like them and has that same approach and mindset. It is easier to replace someone than it is to endure pain or. overcome struggles in relationships these days which is why many hop from one to another. They trade a partner's dealbreaker flaw and leave for another and will do the same thing when that new partner has another dealbreaker that surfaces.

Now, with men we endure a lot of hardship from society

We are constantly reminded we are replaceable. That we are only good for what we can provide for others. Shamed for acting like and behaving like men and being called toxic. Be expected and able to withstand hellish scenarios like war to fight for those that can't or refuse to. Yet in spite of all that, we are expected by society to suck it up and push through all of that to come out stronger and keep doing it until the day we die. We can't let our foot off the gas pedal.

So it goes a long way when we have a woman who we believe accepts us, loves us, wants to be with us despite flaws and shortcomings, be intimate with us. Only for that to come crashing down because one day after giving whatever we have left in our hearts with vulnerability and commitment and love, she doesn't love us anymore and can cast us aside like a used toy for a different and better model that can grant her the same/higher level of emotional and relationship security she felt when she was with us in the start. That is why you hear the more bitter men say, "she's not yours, it's just your turn." Or "The only thing loved unconditionally are children and animals," or "women wait at the finish line for the winners."

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Well because we all have hearts we all have energy and when we get together with somebody and we fall in love with them it's different than our energy falling in love with them I damn I didn't want to do this I don't want to go there because it's so consuming in a way anyway we are all made of water and atoms atoms broke down equals energy we have a soul of spirit we have energy within us it is our guide and our teacher when Temple falls to the ground our energy gathers our soul or Spirit everything we have said and then it's our guiding light and it takes us to wherever we're going to go anyway when our energy falls in love with somebody else's energy they mourn when there is a breakup you can't eat you can't sleep it's like your subconscious has control of you and you think to yourself as this person in this body what is going on with me I'm never been like this before but you're dragging butt and you just hurt it's because of your energy inside mourns the energy of the person you were just with you guys can be fine as human beings yeah we broke up good luck blah blah blah but when two energies can't be together because the human part of us is the thing that broke up and doesn't like each other that energy mourns the other one I don't know if this makes any sense usually I would tell you in much deeper better detail but I just got done talking to somebody about this and I'm just drained

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My last ex told me this. He’s in the army. He always said he could handle any amount of physical pain (and had proven so), but he couldnt handle any type of emotional pain. He said women deal with heartbreak so much better than men do (i dont know if i agree).. but yeah, i dont know why either.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I had health problems more painful than cancer but getting rejected by the first guy I ever loved hurt more than that.

Finchie40 · Answer

Cuz most guy’s give their heart to a girl when he commits to her , And makes her his priority , Most guy’s don’t get into a relationship with a girl to be single , they get into a relationship with her because he wants her by his side the same way he wants her to keep him by her side. , When a guy fully gives his heart to a girl he only has eyes
For her , he becomes pretty much blind to other
Girls’ if she treats him with love and respect, trust and honesty and loyality, when she makes him feel wanted and valued a guy will not cheat on a girl that does that for him, if he does then he is a dumb ass. A guy that truly loves his girl will not need anyone else , he only wants her , if she betrays him , cheats on him or leaves him for someone else he will be devastated and have his heart crushed and feel like he was not a good enough man for her by her leaving him

SnowedIn · Answer

Because a war isn't personal. It's not about me. And unless it somehow involved my family, it still wouldn't have the same impact. Maybe my child or something. But in most cases, war is somewhat sterile. It's a job for those fighting. Sure, tragedy comes from it but again, it isn't personal to me.

The shattering of the heart for love, however, is crushingly personal.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because in a war a man doesn´t get vulnerable as much as in a relationship. It´s the reason why guys rarely talk about emotions. In a war there are many dangerous situations but the attacks come from outside and they come from people one probably never sees again.
A heartbreak is different since it comes from a person a guy thought he could trust 100% who knows everything of him. Now that person breaks away and from a guy´s point it could feel like being stabbed from behind.
It´s something he might not have anticipated and is therefore thorn apart.

Miristheiss · Answer

If a man is like that... he usually puts women on too high of a pedestal (assuming a girl broke his heart).

A man who is strong in relationships can let a woman add to his life but he doesn't make her his life and he realizes there are 4 billion of them. If one misbehaves or betrays... they can be replaced. They must be weak relationship wise.

Lastly. Wars are against an ENEMY. You expect an attack from the enemy.

A lot of heartbreak involves betrayal... a friend, someone you trust stabbing you in the back.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

Men don't endure wars very well either. It pretty much breaks them, sometimes for life. There are extremely few men who come out of wars unscathed - not if they spent any significant time in combat anyways. There is a hell of a lot of heartbreak in war. Imagine talking to your buddy, then literally in the middle of a sentence they are shot and killed. I know someone who experienced that in WW2. How do you deal with all the stress? How do you deal with your buddies getting killed?

But really, you are comparing apples to oranges. They are two completely different kind of things. Like everything else in life, some people are better at dealing with some things than others.

The mind is complex. What seriously stresses one person has no effect on another. Some people can't deal with war. Others can't deal with breakups. Others can't deal with stress at work.

BobLouis · Answer

They are human like you. So what? You think men are just tools that aren't supposed to feel anything? We get used by the government and rich people and are constantly told we only want sex. We are constantly bashed on by society for meeting standards or being successful. So his woman cheats on him and he has nothing left.

You don't feel the same pressure as a man so you don't have to worry about those things. Just don't worry about how men feel and go back to your life.

Sanser · Answer

War is not something personal, people can even feel they dont have responsability about the harm they do. But if something is too personal it can destroy you. A man is that, generalising a man is strong and hard outside but if you get inside his feelings he is very soft and even easy to manipulate, thats why I really think men tend to be more self destructive in personal things or like you say heartbreaks... There is a sentence of a writer called Arturo Perez Reverte that says "Passion destroy men and also save them" and its true.

Viktor001 · Answer

Men are hard on the outside but when they open up and become vulnerable it hurts us the most. A heartbreak hurts more than a bullet.

If a man becomes vulnerable that means he really trusts, cares and loves that person. It's very personal for us. War is not personal.

inhua · Answer

wars do break men but that's to be expected. people get killed, tortured, raped and dismembered in war but it's nothing new

heartbreak is unexpected. why shouldn't a man be shocked when he finds out his wife or girlfriend cheated on, dumped him, dragged him through divorce court?

AaronKrieger · Answer

Wars aren't about emotional vulnerability and those walls are often rather built up in the military. No, I wasn't/am not in it, but I am basing it off of things I've heard and family members who are veterans.

Soldiers get those walls built up and learn how to deal with high stress situations by exposure. However, heart breaks are not stressful and very different in how it impacts people. That vulnerability I mentioned that was walled up is directly impacted. It's hard to prepare for that

Fireguy17 · Answer

It is a different kind of hurt.
It's more of a loss.
In war you don't have time to morn, be scared or you die.
1 minute a guy you like is standing next to you, then he isn't.
It quite easily have been you, or you might be next.
It's like a survival instinct.

SolitarySolace · Answer

What are one of the reasons men fight wars?
For those they love.
During ww1 and ww2 whos pictures did those men have with them?
When they don’t have someone to fight those wars for… 🤷🏻‍♂️

jshm2 · Answer

Because those are two different things entirely to deal with.  Wars and businesses you can power through and get help and resources. Relationships and feelings, you cannot.

Massageman · Answer

Different muscles - arms and legs vs. heart.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

In war you have a simple life. Shoot the bad guy in the face, don't get shot in the face. Rinse and repeat. It may not be EASY, but it IS simple.

Matters of the heart are not. Who do you shoot in the face there?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Physicality and emotionalism are different things. Someone can be able to fearlessly fight and defeat most adversaries while at the same time be timid in personal interactions.

DermalPunch · Answer

War is action oriented while being vulnerable and emotional nuance is not so cut and dry.

reds-noro · Answer

I'm guessing heartbreak is on a way deeper emotional level than war. I suppose heartbreak is also more personal. Call me a silly goose if I'm wrong.

Billlewis · Answer

I know you'd never succumb to anything like this, because you're so strong -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Reorx · Answer

When the enemy is outside your borders it's easier to defend against them when the enemies invited within easier to strike at the core. The key factor in every battle is terrain / resources.

BlackJeep · Answer

There is plenty of PTSD among the soldiers. I think heartbreak is much easier to overcome.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Do you not know trust works? Heartbreak and fighting wars are two totally different kinds of pain.

mommymommymommy · Answer

I would never go to war. But, I would hate ot be heartbroken

grega239 · Answer

Because we're lowkey raised for war. Its no coincidence that men are told to control their emotions. can't fight a war if you cry when the shooting starts.  But no one prepares them for a heartbreak.

justabuddy · Answer

A good Woman is the best thing a guy can have in his life, or the worst thing he can have in his life.

juene · Answer

Heart break is more personal. They are human beings who has emotions.

Christoff92 · Answer

If a man is being emotional towards not having a potential partner. That's because he would believe that yes his hormones would astoundingly drop in a rapid rate.

Shamalien · Answer

It’s like how tooth pain is worse than taking a hit in a fight. Being torn apart from the inside out is not something men are any better at dealing with than women in my opinion

Anonymous · Answer

You talk of men like they are a different species. Did you not have a father or brothers?

Anonymous · Answer

that's me in a nutshell. just how i am just how i'm programmed i guess it's just how i think

Anonymous · Answer

I have heart of stone... Girls can't break my heart 😘

WhitneySnow · Answer

Love is more powerful than war

Anonymous · Answer

Because males are not nurtures unless they need something in return.

genericname85 · Answer

cause in war, you don't use emotions.

jahaims · Answer

War is business, heartbreak is personal

heavymetalbrotha · Answer

Physical pains easier to deal with

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Women are men's kryptonite.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Men are more caring and loving than we show.

virtualwasp · Answer

no idea.

Dat-Alpha-Lion · Answer

TL;DR Because of the differences in intimacy.

sheenagwapa · Answer

really? i think men are users

shades777 · Answer

time to ask the women about their endurance of war

Anonymous · Answer

Because a lot of men are weak emotionally.

Anonymous · Answer

Love is a very powerful thing.

EaterPeter · Answer

Love breaks

Why would a man be strong enough to endure wars but a heartbreak can easily get him to his knees?

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Why would a man be strong enough to endure wars but a heartbreak can easily get him to his knees?

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