Are you surprise a tough man reached his breaking point?

[Anonymous]

There used to be a couple that lived close to my area. A couple's only child (their 20 year-old son) died in a car accident. Well a drunk driver pushed his car into a ditch.

The parents were opposites. While the mother was the most affectionate and expressive parent, the father was strict disciplinarian and less expressive. They love their son but showed it differently. He was a tough, drill sergeant. Nothing would break that man.

Twist ending:
Only a week after their son's death, one of his parents pulls the trigger, commits suicide. Shockingly it wasn't the mother but the father. That's the one thing he couldn't handle nor recover from. To him, there was no purpose in living anymore. He wanted nothing anymore.

Is this a surprise twist to you? That the most expressive and emotional parent continues living and the tough one broke down and collapsed?

Yes, that was shocking twist

No, it happens a lot (not surprised)

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I’m not surprised.


I’m not trying to generalize, but this is my observations AND statistics. Men are more likely to die by suicide. And the only reason why I can think of WHY the suicide rates upon men are so much higher in comparison to women, is because men are pushed by society to be “a man.” AKA, “men don’t cry” “therapy isn’t for men,” et cetera. Men are constantly getting their emotions invalidated, plus, it’s generationally taught that men should not express their emotions or ask for help, so they bottle it up and “deal with it.” Women, on the other hand, are pushed to seek counseling, are told to express themselves, are told that they are allowed to have emotions.


Despite being the most “manliest man” you can think of, that is, being quite emotionless or not being as affectionate… They are bottling their emotions, which isn’t healthy. So, this scenario doesn’t surprise me at all. If a man who is seen as emotionless or lacking affection in general, deals with a great trauma (losing his only child), will push him to the edge. And the issue is, people don’t even suspect it. They think, “oh, he handles emotions well, he’s tough…” but don’t even consider what’s going on in his head. Furthermore, when a “tough man” deals with a great trauma, bottles it up, and no one thinks to help the man… There’s going to be a result, which is suicide.

[Asker]

Yeah it's sad how the man probably got overestimated and didn't receive the help needed. It probably took them by surprise because they were focusing on that man's rough exterior and fail to realize what he felt on the inside; internally he was a fragile and broken man.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. For men in crisis there are three "spaces": Homelessness, prison, and death.

Men learn very early not to show emotion or pain as nothing good comes from it, and he can actually be badly punished for showing pain.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Men's mental health is too often overlooked.

Men commit suicide more often than women. Women attempt more, but men actually succeed more often.

It doesn't surprise me and I'm sad the father felt no other way out of his grief. I wouldn't be surprised to learn he didn't have sufficient supports.

Men need to care for their mental health, and we need to stop the stigma around that. Fortunately the younger generations seem much better off, and I'll continue to advocate for it.

Mental health is important, and everyone deserves support.

[lightbulb27]

Not a surprise. the one has clogged emotions and the other expresses them. The driver for suicide would be to stop the seemingly endless emotional pain that they cannot deal with. Emotional pain is similar to physical pain. The other person is processing their pain.

If it's true, sad to hear. I cannot imagine that tragedy, and I think there are worse than that in real life. Life is hard because it's a process with an ending. I think only Christ has been able to solve this as far as I know. I had to come to grips with death in life but have been fortunate.

There was a young soldier who committed suicide in my area recently, a star football player. sometimes we just don't know what people are going through. So... every person you meet, do your best to relate to them in a human... connecting way.

[KrakenAttackin]

This is tragic but not at all surprising. I hope both the Father and Son rest in peace.

[Asker]

yeah it's that he felt he couldn't cope with it

[Asker]

it's sad that he felt suicide was the way out

[Anonymous]

It's sad but it happens a lot. I want to suicide too. But I won't, because of my father.

[sirderpsalot123]

Not surprising but very sad.