I love my boyfriend, we’ve been together since high school. We’re both now going to university pretty near each other maybe a 20-30 minute drive and we see eachother almost everyday of the week. With going to university i’ve started to receive a lot of male attention and made a lot of male friends.
i’m not used to guy friends at all, all throughout high school aside from my boyfriend no guys ever really showed that much interest in me. So because of that i never really liked guys that weren’t my boyfriend. Now i’m so not used to having guys be into me or even really speak to me i’ve started developing small crushes on my new guy friends etc etc. I’d never act on them, i try not to flirt (i say try because i’ve been told my personality is naturally seen kinda flirtatiously) while still being friendly and social.
My boyfriend on the other hand has always had female friends (he stopped around the time we started dating) and told me himself he rarely had any crushes before me and hasn't even thought about other girls after me. I feel terrible, i feel like a bad girlfriend, he means the world to me and of course i’d never tell him because it would break him. Is there something wrong with me, is this normal? i’m not ecouraging these feelings they just come and go.
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Don't worry, it's fairly common.
People are different in this regard.
Some people can love multiple people at the same time just as intensely as you love your boyfriend.
Others can only have feelings for a single person at a time.
It's a sliding scale.
This shows that you have at least *somewhat* polygamous tendencies.
It's possible that he's 100% mono.
The sad part is that mono people often can't even imagine that someone can love them as much as they love someone else while *simultaneously* loving someone else.
In your case you don't fully *love* others while loving your boyfriend yet.
But you have crushes.
We'll see what happens in the future.
But you should talk with him about this, so you *can* be honest with him in case you indeed do fall in love with someone else.
It'll be easier for you to avoid cheating on him if you two talk and communicate well.
I know that it's difficult to bring this up.
And that you're afraid of hurting him.
But I'm sure that it's possible to find a way to communicate this that won't hurt him much.
Ps. Please do pm me.
I'd like to talk more about this with you if you're willing.