My boyfriend of 3.5 years went away on a trip and I found out that on the last night of his trip he kissed someone else. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I love him so much and he has deep rooted issues that he needs to work on, I don't want to throw away everything we have as I genuinely thought I would marry him. Can we work it out or is it worth it, looking for advice or similar experiences.

[Oliverlogan263]

I'm sorry to hear this happened. Based on the details you've provided, here are my recommendations:

• Don't rush to make any permanent decisions right now. Take some time and space to process your emotions and evaluate what you really want.

• Have an open and honest discussion with your boyfriend. Tell him how betrayed and hurt you feel. Ask him to be fully transparent about what happened. Listen without judgment first.

• Determine if there are any underlying issues in your relationship that may have contributed. Was he seeking attention or validation? Are there unmet needs on either side? These are important factors to consider.

• Decide if you feel you can truly move past this and rebuild trust over time. Forgiveness is a choice, but one only you can make for yourself. He will need to prove himself through consistent effort.

• Set clear expectations for how he will regain your trust - cutting off contact with the other person, being more transparent, going to counseling together, etc. Then hold him accountable.

• Consider seeking couples counseling, even if you decide to stay together. A therapist can help you both work through any issues that led to this incident and build stronger communication.

• Know that you deserve honesty, respect and faithfulness in a relationship. His actions were a violation of that, regardless of any reasoning. You're allowed to have your hurt feelings and set boundaries that work for you.

Whether or not you can move forward together depends on many factors - your love and commitment to each other, his willingness to truly work on things, open communication and many honest conversations. Take some time to reflect before making any final decisions. Your feelings and needs matter most.

[RHK36]

Leave. Already cheated, what future do you think you have where a man already threw his relationship out the window before marriage. Do you think it'll actually be better when married, because statistically he'll be worse. If you ignore the 🚩 then it's on you.

[_Maya_]

Dump him. He cheated. Simple as that. There should be no thinking about anything. What deep rooted issues? Obviously when someone has issues it isn't a good thing. You have to ask yourself now can you trust him? I couldn't. What is he going to do next time? What has he done that you don't know? Want some STDs? You see how this gone on and on. You need to look out for number one and get rid of the cheater. That's my best advice.

[Iron_Man]

Why would he do something like that you better find out and talk to him

[OddBeMe]

Are you sure that’s all they did? Tongue? Minutes or seconds?

[Jmmmfi4]

Only you can decide what's best

[jahaims]

Leave