Should I tell my boyfriend I kissed another guy?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for two months, and are very close. He genuinely likes me and I see him almost everyday after work. However my boyfriend is a model, he is two years younger than me, and is booming. He has castings and commercials and photo shoots everyday. He is very good looking, successful, and has a whole future of fame ahead of him. As for me I am an average office worker, and sometimes I find myself feeling insecure and intimidated by his success and lifestyle. He talks a lot about himself, and usually I have nothing interesting to talk about. Sometimes I find myself wondering if he really likes me or not. When he's busy with shoots we don't talk much, and sometimes I find myself feeling lonely. He never mistreated me, but I just feel like this shadow with him. He is not much of a romantic type, and sometimes it feels like we are friends more than lovers. Yesterday he called me to tell me he was forced to kiss a girl a peck on her lips for a car commercial. And that he had a photoshoot with this really sexy model the week after for a brand of clothes (Yes he told me the girl was gorgeous and that I'd turn lesbian if I saw her). I know he had no bad intentions in telling me these, me and my boyfriend started off as best friends anyways, and I appreciate his honesty, but I felt sad. So that night he was tired, and I really wanted to go clubbing so he told me to go. I got really drunk, and bumped into a guy I used to date. The guy is dating now as well, but we sort off re-connected at the party and while he lead me to my car we kissed a little. I feel like crap about it and I don't know what to do. It's eating me up. Should I tell him? Why was I tempted in the first place? I'm so confused.

BigRod13 · Accepted Answer

I guess it just depends on what you want out of life just imagine yourself really old and dieing what is it that you think you would cherish what would make your heart tick what are the things that you would call important... the difference between a girl and a woman is a woman would never say I kissed another guy but my vf and I are really close... I'm all about success but people that have been pretty there hole life haven't really ever struggled has people that agree with him all the time even when its him complimenting him tgise are the people that unfortunately go throw life never really knowing what it's like to really appreciate something you know the type that always have a girlfriend that's a solid 9 but somehow doesn't know it and has low self esteem which is is usually where he probably likes them to stay that away it doeant hinder his ego or esteem you kissed that guy because you where drunk and feeling less than and have a boyfriend that doesn't know that your not supposed to say things to your lady like I'm really excited to be working alone with this chick on Thursday while I know your busy justin case you want to facebook stalk her so you can see what your bfs idea of the perfect chick looks like so that you can see how you look nothing like her and that haircut wouldn't even look good on me he's probably gonna cheat on me with her I dont blame him look at me I'm sure he's a great guy but that's the difference between husband marital and fuckboys because hm has had someone teach him how to be a gentlemen or if figured along the way what a statement like can actually do to a womans mind when your 80 are you gonna say yes it was worth it he wasn't exactly a gentleman all the time or show interest in the things that matter to me or ever try to grow really but he was fine as hell the first 15 years and we lived great when he was still working anyway because because he probably didn't really save because usually the type that doesn't seem that they should always be growing dont save money they tell bad fick and fart jokes I think you should just do what ever it is that you would want him to do if the roles were reversed and then go have a spa day remind yourself how beautiful you and hopefully light a fire under your butt to go focus on your career and find out what's important to you in life and realize you just dodged a huge bullet of a long life of rich and miserable and then if you feel so inclined find yourself a man that grew up poor become successful because he earned it and was raised with respect manners and how to treat a lady because that man is a grateful man a humble man and a happy one to boot and tou you have those things your to busy enjoying life to go make your beautiful wife feel less than foe no reason anyhow I realize how crazy it looks that I just wrote all that but I have extra time on my hands right now I I have the tendency to go on rants when certain topics come up so again I'm not crazy but a little funny god bless

koalakola · Accepted Answer

Maybe you should. You are feeling alone in the relationship and explain him you are sorry to haven't conveyed this before it happened.

He seems like someone who will understand that you were intoxicated and that your loneliness made you do something like that.

On your front, try to focus that he is with you and cares for you. In his profession he meets people who look good all the time but he likes you more because of who you are to him. Don't undermine you relation with him over someone he met a day before and her beauty.

I know it can be sad to spend time away but you have to be as professional as him. Maybe focus more on your job, plan out your vacations without excuses - enjoy life on both fronts.

Give him suggestions that you both can work on certain things to spend more time with each other. Your showing interest in rectifying and trying to solve this is step to improve your life together.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The issue here is intent. Your boyfriend had to kiss another girl as part of his job. It probably meant nothing to him. When you kissed your ex-guy, it was for emotional reasons. That to me is cheating.

What to do? Tell your guy the truth. It sounds, from what you say, that you don't have a lot to lose. It may make him more loving towards you or you may lose him.

Just do not enter into a relationship, or continue one, with secrets! It is a recipe for disaster in the future!

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Sounds like you're existing in the shadow of your boyfriend's fame and feel left out. Either talk it over with him and get your head straight about it, or go your separate ways. You say you're more like friends anyway and he's always busy. His bragging about hanging out with beautiful models sounds immature too. You barely know this guy. It doesn't sound like it'd be a great loss to move along.

coachTanthony · Answer

Your boyfriend is a model but you kissed another guy.  Peck or not it sounds like you feel guilty. So just tell him.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

this is kind of why most actors/actresses marry their own kind. they know the requirements of the job and are okay with sex scenes. it's something you will have to learn to live with. what you did was cheat and you should feel bad about it. you won't feel better until you tell him about it. it's honestly worse that it wasn't a stranger. he's not kissing someone because he wants to, but because he has to to get paid. you did it for free and that is a discussion between you and him. you did it because you don't like him doing it, so he needs to hear how you feel about it. this relationship might not work. what happens if he calls and says the kissing turned into boob play or nipple sucking?

Anonymous · Answer

Its a good thing for your boyfriend that you are not a rockstar, you help keep him grounded, let him decide you aren't good enough for him if thats the truth, dont sell yourself short.

If this kiss is really bothering you then maybe you should talk about it but honestly i think its nothing but a reminder why you aren't with your asshole ex anymore, you probably talked to him about your problems with your boyfriend and he thought great lets exploit this emotionally vulnerable woman and see if i can empty my balls into her.

NYCstreetPhotog · Answer

No secret should be kept from someone you love. It will be so much harder to explain if it comes out later, and will build animosity between you two.

But first off, there is a rift between you two that needs to be addressed. Clearly there is a lack of real communication. You need to tell him how you feel around him. The intimidation, the sense of being his shaddow. If you don't bring this to light you are only going to go further down the rabbit hole.

Have a heartfelt conversations about these things, express your desires, hope he will understand, then listen to him and try to understand what his concerns are too. You might find there is more problems underlying the relationship, but if you don't communicate now, you have no chance of addressing them, until they get to be too bad.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I once kissed a girl while my (at the time) girlfriend was living in another country. I wasn't proud of it, and I regretted in almost instantly. But I was terrified I would lose the woman I loved if I came clean. So I never told her about what happened. I figured if anything else like that happened in future I'd come clean and accept the consequences. But for one little fuckup to potentially ruin an otherwise great relationship? It's a tough call. I'm not advocating for lying to your partner or withholding the truth. Just being honest when I say I can understand the desire to *not* tell him. (If it was more than "just a little kiss" then you should come clean, especially if you've now caught feelings for the other guy, and are still in communications with him. A silly drunken kiss brought on by insecurity could be forgivable, but cheating isn't.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I get the impression the bigger problem is your sense of self with this boyfriend of yours. For whatever reason he likes you and chooses you. For whatever reason you do not fee good enough. His choosing you is your being good enough. In fact, it means you are better than the rest.

As for your why... because you do not gee good enough for him, you had your moment of indiscretion. Should you tell him, you might be the one person in his world who he would have never expected to hear this from. In other words, you are going to lose a fair amount of your luster. Either tell him now or never speak of it again. Whatever you do, don't spit it out years later should you decide to keep your mouth shut now.

Chris4744 · Answer

Yes you should absolutely tell him. And tell him everything you said here. Shoot maybe just show him this post 😂

Seriously what’s the worst that could happen? Nothing worse than letting it eat you up inside! I really really think you should either show him this post or rewrite what you wrote here in a note or something and let him read it. Not as a letter to him, but as kind of diary entry where the dialogue is just with yourself.

Lite3000 · Answer

Go ahead and tell him if it'll lift a weight off your shoulders. A girl I dated once told me she kissed another guy out of jealousy because she thought I kissed someone. She was guilty about it and I appreciated the honesty and her caring enough about me to tell me.

mrsingle · Answer

You should tell him but say to blame the alcohol, or he might question your reasons. especially if you feel low self esteem he will always wonder if you are jealous of his job and worry and that will only put stress on the relationship. Trust me I had a similar issue with my girlfriend and it didn’t end well

buttcrackjoe · Answer

I dunno depends on the context of your night with the ex? Just kickin back reliving some old times? A walk to the car for a final goodbye (never intending to meet up again). If its just a good bye peck I wouldn't worry about it if you were my girl id understand part of your life was with that man and a friendly peck kiss isn't going to freak me out. Lots of cultures kiss routinely as a friendly gesture. Just dont talk to you ex ever again should be good

wankiam · Answer

what do you think he will do with that if you tell him? i think you will be single by the end of the day so up to you what you really want i guess

JohnAlaska43 · Answer

doesn't help its an ex. Best stay away from drinking at clubs.  If its eating you be honest with boy friend.  Tell him how he makes you feel insecure when h

boggboss · Answer

You just wanted revenge on him and now feel shit about and want people to make you feel better for you cheating which is what you did meh guess that's another guy that's with a girl that will break his heart 1 day

girl2034 · Answer

I think you just wanted to get revenge because you feel like he's cheating on you

Loving_Husband · Answer

It's up to you. How do you think he'd react? I think it's understandable because it's a guy you used to date.

MoscowMitch · Answer

Say nothing and don't do it again. If you tell him you are punishing him because you made a mistake.

Nexovous · Answer

I get the feeling more then kissing happened. Own it and be honest... not much else to it.

Jeetin · Answer

This entire post was you trying to justify your actions to yourself. You did something wrong. His photoshoot involving kissing is not even comparable. Fess up.

CocoBat · Answer

Yes you should tell him, and don't do that bullshit unless you agreed that it's ok, which is also stupid but at least it's not minor betrayal

smølf · Answer

So you have nether morals or self-control, you feel like kissing and give away instantly.

Should I tell my boyfriend I kissed another guy?

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